


Aftermath

by RobinShellyFoster



Series: Commander Jess Shepard [4]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, Paragon Commander Shepard, Post-Mass Effect 3, Spacer (Mass Effect)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 19:36:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 58,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4678769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinShellyFoster/pseuds/RobinShellyFoster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jess Shepard was certain the end to the Reapers would be the end to her as well. When she finds herself alive instead she struggles to pick up the pieces and find her way again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Post-Mass Effect 3 – Destroy Ending, Paragon, Spacer, Soldier, Liara romance.  Based on experiences of Commander Jess Shepard, Alliance Soldier and Human Spectre.

Chapter 1

In the darkness time is infinite. Drifting in and out of nightmares beyond imagining, brutal and endless. Scattered in are scarce memories of better times, times of comfort, times of passion. But they are few.

Slowly the darkness grows empty, hollow. Awareness of a world beyond the dark starts slowly, sometimes receding, but then returning, until finally it explodes… into pain.

The body of the soldier on the table convulsed once before contracting into violent shaking. A disembodied voice commanded, “Relax. Breathe.” The darkness was broken by an impossibly bright light. Disorienting. Assaults of sounds came from every angle. Angry beeping that resolved into the heavy staccato of gunfire. A sudden blinding flash of red and she was back…

…in the streets. Rifle impossibly heavy. Sweat pouring, or is it blood. No time to check. Another scream, a horrible sound that made her insides turn cold. A Banshee, another one. Hadn’t they killed them all? Must have been at least twenty and yet they still kept coming. Ammo check, only quarter full. Bodies on the ground. Friend or foe, impossible to tell. She looked for her team but their identity was lost in the crack of the scorching red beam and piercing sound of the Reaper firing. She dove for cover.

The Reapers. Her body stilled. Her awareness flooded back. A calm of certainty overcoming her. The Reapers. She was here to stop them. Looking past the clouds of destruction she could see it. The red eye of Harbinger glowing dangerous and close. Looking at her. Knowing her. She would die here. The red glow swelled and the screaming alarm of the Reaper firing sounded. She raised an arm in useless defense…

…then quiet. The heat of war around her evaporated as fast as an airlock venting into deep space. The ringing in her ears began to subside giving way to softer sounds. Wind in trees. Life. Birds. A child laughing.

She lowered her arm, opening her eyes. Her charred and bloodied armor a striking contrast to the soft green rolling hills and tall grass suddenly surrounding her. Her eyes adjusted to see distant mountains. The sting of war in her senses began to subside.

Enormous weeping willows and trees bent by the endless force of natural winds dotted the rolling landscape. She was alone, standing as the one dark blemish on a perfect landscape.

The laughter again. Young, playful. Filled with innocence and joy.

Her rifle dissolved into dust in her hands and fell into the breeze, blowing away. She could feel the wind pulling at the matted strands of her hair, as gentle as a cool kiss against hot skin.

The laughter came again, carried on the wind from her left. She crested the hill to find one of the enormous windswept trees and underneath, three figures. Two adults and a child. They were sitting under the shade of the tree while the child spun and giggled. Without the thought of moving she was suddenly closer, pulled to them by their innocence. They were untouched by war. Surrounded by cool blues and soft greens, there was no harsh red light from the Reapers to taint this place. The tree that sheltered them was ancient. In the trunk a carving of an eight pointed star, like a compass, old but still bold and white against the dark bark. She stared at the star, squinting as if trying to glean it’s meaning by looking harder.

The two adults laughed lightly drawing her gaze from the tree to the family. Yes. A family. Two parents, smiling wistfully at their playful child as she spun until she was dizzy and collapsed into her mother’s lap. The child, an Asari. Puckish and spry and adorable. The soldier felt a smile trying to stretch her cracked lips. The child kissed her mother lightly and began to spin again. Her mother, also Asari, smiling.

Suddenly the soldier’s breath was gone, sucked out of her by the jolt of recognition. Asari. Her Asari.

“Liara,” a voice whispered. The whisper echoed across the hills, carried by the breeze. The soldier’s eyes stung as she tried to call to her but no sound came from her lips. Liara didn’t see her. Couldn’t see her. She tried harder to speak but only strangled wheezes escaped, her throat a desert of fire.

Liara was smiling again, this time at her companion. The other parent was human, a woman, smiling back at her, her smile softening her features. A human. With red hair and blue eyes that danced when she watched her Asari and their child. The face was familiar but the image was too much, too disparate. Confusion flooded the soldier, standing in her own blood, reeking of battle, in the presence of such innocence. She was a blight to this peaceful place. A danger to this family.

The trio laughed again, the two parents sharing an intimate look. The Asari reaching up to touch the human’s face, caressing it tenderly.

The soldier’s head snapped to the right as an ominous scream echoed loudly just beyond the hills. She could see nothing but she could feel it. The evil, it was coming for her, coming for them. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, her heart raced. She reached for her weapon but it was gone, taken by the breeze. She looked at the family and tried screaming warnings at them. Only silence escaped. The family smiled at each other, oblivious to any danger. The screaming again, like the twist of metal in anguish, closer but still the soldier could not see it. She could feel the panic rising. She gathered all of her breathe and remaining strength and screamed a warning again.

The star on the tree began to glow, growing exponentially as the family continued to smile. The white light overtook the soldier like a crashing wave, knocking her back, burying her. She gasped for breathe and pushed herself up, fighting the wave, fighting the evil, fighting the Reapers, fighting to stay alive, fighting to get back.

“Relax. Breathe,” the voice said again. Closer this time. Calmer. The wave receded and the soldier gasped for air, giving in to the pressure on her shoulders to stay down. A dark shape intruded into the blinding light, round and soft. The shape resolved slowly into a blurred face. Calm. “Relax. Breathe,” it told her.

The gentle confidence in the voice allowed the command to seep into the soldier’s consciousness. She submitted. She was on her back she realized. More shapes resolved, the bright light began to recede. A room. She opened her mouth, trying to work out sounds. Nothing.

The face belonged to a woman, she could see that now. She was standing over her, offering a gentle smile. “Relax and breathe. Speaking will come later. Not to worry, you’re safe.”

She was suddenly aware of pain. Every cell in her body ached. She willingly relented to the calming voice. She felt a quick, hard pressure against her neck and the pain began to dissolve away. But she was slipping back into the darkness as well. She didn’t want the darkness. There were too many things haunting her there. But she was too exhausted to resist. So it claimed her again.

* * *

 

The soldier didn’t know how much time had passed when she next saw the room. It felt like years fighting the Reapers in the darkness. She’d seen the family again too. Tried to warn them. Tried to save them. Tried to save Liara.

She lay still, letting her senses acclimate to the environment. Soft beeps and whirs filled the silence, but she seemed to be alone. She tried lifting her right hand. It left like it was made of lead but she managed. She touched her face. Touching a spot on her forehead sent lighting bolts of pain as the darkness threatened to swallow her again. She fought her way back to consciousness.

A new sound. A voice, distant, like in the next room. She focused, listening, trying not to move because the pain would block out everything else.

“…blood pressure is normal but her heart rate spikes every time we try to bring her back out.” The calming voice.

“I suspect the sedatives aren’t doing much anymore.” A new voice, confident, female, modulated like through a com link.

“I don’t understand it. Her body has been well healed for weeks. We should have been able to bring her out of the coma by now.”

The voice sounded speculative. “We just have no idea the extent of the mental trauma and damage. She’s going to have to come around on her own. What about the nightmares?”

“Still happening. I try to counter act them by prompting the positive memory cells with the algorithms you sent but it’s not having much affect.”

“The trauma may be too acute. Keep trying though. I have to go. Keep me posted.” The voice over the com sounded familiar but it hurt too much to try and place it. By the time the woman came back into the room the darkness was dragging her under again.

* * *

 

She was back in the meadow with the family, watching them laugh together. The soldier’s eyes followed Liara, her mannerisms so familiar they almost hurt to watch. Slowly the time fighting the Reapers and fighting death seemed to lessen and time near the meadow stretched longer. She could almost feel the peace touch her. She longed for it. She was staring hard at Liara, willing her to see her.

A breeze blew and prickled the exposed flesh on the Soldier’s arms. She moved her pained lips, focusing on her breath. “Liara,” she whispered. The branches of the trees swayed in delight. A chill ran through her. When she looked up again, Liara was staring at her, her head cocked slightly to the side. She was looking at her, no, seeing her. For the first time. The soldier locked eyes with her, trying to convey everything in a look. “Liara,” she whispered again.

Liara stood, never breaking her gaze, her face suddenly clouding with concern. She took a step and reached out her hand, “Shepard!”

And then they were gone.

* * *

 

The room resolved more quickly this time. It was becoming familiar. She was in a bed she realized, surrounded by machines. Maybe a hospital, although it was always quiet and there were no other patients. The woman with the calming voice would come and go, soothing as she could. The pain began to recede from the razor’s edge and she was able to remain conscious longer.

The woman entered the room and appeared above her. She smiled gently and reached towards the sore spot on her head. The soldier’s hand snapped up at lightning speed and stopped her wrist with a vice-like grip. The woman was obviously startled. “Shhh..” the soldier tried to speak. She paused to take a breath, “Shep… Shepard. My name is… Shepard.” The sound of her voice was raspy and strained, but it had worked.

The startled look receded and gave way to a smile. “I know Commander, we’ve met before.”

* * *

 

Shepard was waiting for her the next time she came in the room. Her eyes followed the woman as she made notes of readings on her data pad.

“Orr…Oriana,” she said, her voice stronger.

The woman stopped and looked at her.

“You’re Oriana, Miranda’s ssss… sister.”

She smiled. “Very good Commander.” She walked over and set down her data pad. She started to reach for Shepard’s head but stopped short, hesitating. “I’m going to check your sutures, ok?”

Shepard nodded, keeping her hands by her sides this time.

As she delicately probed the tender area, she asked, “Do you remember the last time we met?”

Shepard searched her memory. Speaking was getting easier but the gaps in her memory were still pretty enormous. Images of a space station, a supposed safe haven for refugees from the war… only not. A stacatto of images flashed in her mind… soldiers, husks, banshees… innocent refugees transformed into hideous monsters at the whim of a madman. Then a flash of the woman standing calmly before her now, held in the tight grip of that man, her own father, his gun leveled at her head. She flinched as a biotic field smashed into him and he screamed, the sound as piercing as if it was happening in front of her now. She blinked hard, forcing herself to breathe slowly and her gaze found the tranquil one of the woman over her. “Sss..Sanctuary.”

Oriana smiled gently, a hint of the grim memories clouding her bright eyes. “That’s right.”

She finished with the exam and perched on the edge of the bed, hands in her lap. “Do you know where you are?”

Shepard searched her memory but the answers felt just out of reach in her mind. After a moment, Oriana offered her an easy smile and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Not to worry. You’ll get there.”

Frustration burned through Shepard like acid in her veins. There was something important to say, if only she could remember what it was.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Shepard dove and rolled hard into cover behind one of the smoking vehicles the Reaper had destroyed only moments before. Ammo check, only three thermo clips left. Explosions on the left and right. The acrid smoke and smell of burning flesh was suffocating.

Then suddenly it was over and she was mid conversation with Admiral Anderson.

“…have to make a run for that beam,” he was saying.

She dropped to the ground and slid to avoid the flipping Mako. She glanced back looking for her team just in time to see Ashley and Liara dive out of the way a fraction too late. All thought of the Reapers abandoned, she backtracked as fast as she was able, climbing and vaulting off of the smoking hull that was once the transport vehicle. Blood. Liara’s blood. Evac! Sudden calm looking into those blue Asari eyes she loved. “I am yours,” Liara’s voice.

The red light of Harbinger ripped past her. She felt the flash of intense pain. Blood. She could hear her own heartbeat louder than anything. The beam. She’d come so far, only a little farther then she could rest.

Another hard jolt to her battered body as she tumbled into a heap onto deck plating, surrounded by the stench of death. Overwhelming and suffocating. Bodies everywhere. Anderson. The Illusive Man, that stupid, arrogant bastard may have killed us all!

And then…

…quiet. The ghost of the boy from Earth … only not. Far worse. Some ancient creature… an AI. The choice. Destroy. She had to. That’s what all of this was for! The suffering, the deaths of millions, the sacrifice… Kaiden, Mordin, Thane, Anderson. _It has to stop!_ She felt the weight of the pistol in her hand, so heavy.

Then fire…

###

Shepard bolted upright so hard she fell out of the bed and onto the floor, ripping free of medical leads and disturbing monitoring devices, causing the room to erupt into beeps and noises of protest.

When Oriana rushed in she stopped short at the sight of the empty bed. Shepard pulled herself up, blood seeping from a fresh gash on her head. She locked her fevered gaze on Oriana. “Are they gone?”

Oriana shook her head, at a loss.

“The Reapers,” Shepard demanded, “are they dead?! Are they gone?! Did it work?”

Oriana nodded quickly. “Yes. You did it Commander. You detonated the Crucible and destroyed them all.”

Shepard was breathing hard. She nodded and collapsed.

###

“…of all the idiotic things to do. She got out of the bed?! We’ll have to restrain her.”

“The hell you will,” Shepard protested weakly.

The voice over the com paused. Oriana, standing just a few feet from Shepard's bed, glanced over, her face filled with concern.

“You tell Miranda if she wants to put me in restraints she can come here and try it herself. But it won’t be pretty.”

Oriana glanced at the com, and then brought up the display so Shepard could see it. The three-dimensional image of Miranda Lawson standing, arms crossed, stared back at Shepard.

“You couldn’t just die could you,” she said with a smirk.

“I blame you,” Shepard tossed back, grimacing as she pushed herself up into a seated position.

Miranda actually smiled. “It’s good to see you Shepard, conscious anyway.”

Shepard paused, a pain in her left side suddenly acute. “Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?”

Miranda paced in the vid com room she was projecting from. “I don’t know exactly how you did it but you destroyed the Reapers. There was a blast that radiated from the Citadel once it was connected to the Crucible that wiped them all out.”

“Just like that?”

She stopped pacing, facing Shepard again. “Yes, just like that. And with them, the mass relays, all AI and the Citadel itself also heavily damaged.”

Shepard took a moment, “Earth?”

Miranda paused, allowing a smile to form on her lips, “You’re sitting on it.”

Shepard’s shoulders relaxed and a breath she’d been holding for what felt like years escaped slowly. The gravity of it all settled in. The lives. The destruction. The years of struggle. Over. It stung her eyes and made her chest ache.

“If you cry my image of you will be soiled forever,” Miranda said dryly.

“Screw you,” Shepard managed.

“That’s more like it,” Miranda said, allowing her voice to soften slightly.

Miranda and Oriana relayed details of what had transpired after the destruction of the Reapers. The damage to the mass relays had been significant, limiting the speed of space travel to the FTL drives alone. The destruction of AIs and other complex synthetic systems had caused havoc of it’s own. The Geth were completely lost. Most of the other fleets had limped back to what was left of their home worlds to start picking up the pieces. The Quarians had the longest to travel by far and instead divided the flotilla to assist in repair of the mass relays.

Nine months had passed since Shepard had made her choice and fired her pistol into the power cylinder on the Citadel. And though the Reapers were gone, they left an overwhelming swath of destruction spanning the entire Galaxy. But they _were_ gone. And Earth survived.

Shepard was staring out of the only window in her med suite. Outside was a white cascading mountain range, pristine and untouched by man or machine. Oriana had informed her that they were in a remote med facility in the mountains north of Vancouver. That her body had been recovered, buried in the rubble of a London building near the location of the beam that had transported her to the Citadel. How she’d gotten there was as much a mystery to everyone else as it was to her. In the chaos following the Reaper destruction it had taken two weeks before anyone actually identified her. She was found alive but barely, burned over 75% of her body and broken.

Once Admiral Hackett had been informed of her ID he’d swiftly enlisted Miranda’s help in concealing her as well as aiding in her recovery. Hackett’s concern was that Shepard would be a target for anyone trying to take advantage of human or Alliance weakness after the war. She was a symbol, a hero, a legend, and a target. The few medical personnel that knew of her identification were put under Miranda’s supervision to keep them close and quiet. The Alliance and Hackett were relying on Miranda heavily for intel and having acquired most of the Illusive Man’s resources, she was happy to comply.

“How did I even survive that blast?” Shepard pondered.

“While I can’t know for sure, you may have Cerberus once again to thank for your life.”

Shepard grimaced, “I’d prefer just to thank you and forget Cerberus.”

Miranda smiled, “I accept.” She paced, arms crossed in the vid com, “The neuro stimulators I implanted in your brain during the original Lazarus Project were designed to dissolve harmlessly as you neural function returned to normal. By the time you made your assault on the Reapers, there was nothing left for the blast to affect. Otherwise a lot of the original repairs to your skeletal system made it resistant to further injury. Also, you have a chemical compound we introduced into your blood stream during Lazarus that has made your tissue regeneration much faster than normal which may have aided in your ability to survive and recover quickly from the burns.” She paused, “But mostly I think you’re just damn lucky.”

“What about the Normandy? The crew?” Shepard asked, keeping her eyes on her hands, knowing Miranda would rather not see her vulnerability at asking the question and fearing the answers.

Miranda’s voice softened none the less in a rare moment of empathy, “They had a bumpy escape from the blast and crash landed on a planet just outside the Sol system. But you know Joker, he managed to get them flying again. Took them a few weeks to get back to Earth though.”

“Good,” she whispered. She paused and swallowed, preparing for the question that had been burning inside her. “And Liara?” she closed her eyes for the answer. She immediately saw the blood.

“She’s alive Shepard. They all are. None the worse for wear for the most part… except for EDI. She suffered the same fate as all of the other AI I’m afraid. And Javick never returned. No one knows what happened to him.”

Shepard let out a breath. Liara was alive. Liara was safe. Her crew was safe. Shepard nodded and frowned. “But they think I’m dead.”

Miranda nodded, “Yes. Outside of Oriana and myself, Hackett and a few medical personnel, to the rest of the galaxy you died in the battle for Earth.”

Shepard nodded, the feeling uncomfortably familiar. “Is there no hope for recovering EDI?”

Miranda shrugged. “I’m devoting a sizable portion of research to it now. We can certainly get back to where we were eventually, but as for recovery of old systems in their previous states, prospects are… slim. Particularly for anything self aware”

Shepard’s thoughts drifted back to her last conversation with EDI before the assault on Earth. She’d felt alive, she told Shepard. She thought of Joker and the bond he and EDI had formed. Now EDI was lost, because of her, of the choice she made. Her chest constricted.

“Shepard,” Miranda started, bringing Shepard back to the present, “we need to know exactly what happened up there. How you activated the Crucible. Admiral Hackett…

“I don’t remember anything after seeing Anderson die,” Shepard interrupted. She shook her head and rubbed the back of her neck, suddenly feeling the weight of her decisions smother her. She took a shallow breath. “The Illusive Man was there. He had been indoctrinated.. even turned… he was half human, half husk. He shot Anderson.” That was a lie but the truth was too much and too complicated. “Then he shot himself.” She was holding back, feelings of uncertainty swelling in her chest. She wasn’t sure why, but instinct told her to hold back the whole truth. She wasn’t even sure if she believed it all herself. “Then… boom… I guess.” She shrugged at Miranda.

“That fits with the images we monitored from your neural taps,” Oriana piped up.

Miranda grimaced. Oriana suddenly looked guilty.

Shepard raised an eyebrow in question. Oriana motioned to some of the machines. “We have a system that analyzes the unconscious memories you experience in a comatose state and translates those into displayable images.”

“You’re saying you can watch my dreams?” Shepard said skeptically.

“Nightmares mostly,” Miranda muttered.

“But yes, any unconscious collected thoughts,” Oriana added. “It’s not nearly a perfect system. A large percentage of the material that does resolve into images is a confusing jumble… mostly incoherent without some context. Others come through rather clearly.”

“Sounds like Prothean tech, like the beacons or memory shards,” Shepard commented.

Miranda nodded, “Of sorts, yes.”

Shepard shifted uncomfortably, feeling suddenly exposed. “What’s the point?”

“We needed to determine exactly what happened… in case you didn’t make it,” Miranda stated factually.

“And?” Shepard asked, wondering if they’d knew more than she’d chosen to reveal.

“Most images we could make any sense of tended to be the battle on Earth,” Miranda said.

“And Dr. T’soni being injured,” Oriana added.

Shepard nodded painfully, those images very clear in her mind. For a moment Shepard was snapped back to the battlefield. The fear that seized her seeing Liara injured took her breath away then and now. Her fingers tingled at the sense memory of their last caress on the cargo bay door of the Normandy. And then she was gone.

“I tried to use your memories of her to counteract when the nightmares took hold. They seemed to have a calming affect. Well… most of them… some were too… stimulating…” she was mumbling now.

“Alright, enough Oriana,” Miranda grumbled.

Oriana flushed with embarrassment.

Shepard gave Oriana a small smile, trying to ease the discomfort. “Where is Liara now?”

Oriana looked up, happy to change the subject to facts. “She is on Thessia assisting the refugees and working to help restore order there. She’s become quite a symbol of hope and inspiration for the Asari and other species as well,” Oriana continued. “Although that’s also put her in danger…”

“Oriana!” Miranda snapped.

But it was too late. “What do you mean danger?” Shepard’s body had gone tight with tension and Oriana tried desperately to avoid the sudden intensity of Shepard’s gaze.

“Well not danger I guess… just something of a target… her speeches on galactic unity… now there are threats…”

“Oriana!” Miranda may have in fact slapped her sister if they’d been in the same room. As it was, Miranda leaned forward in the vid com, looking at Shepard who was now on high alert. “Look Shepard, I’m monitoring the situation. If there were any real danger I would take care of it. You have to trust me.”

“With the mass relays out how long would it take a FTL ship to get to Thessia?”

“No,” Miranda said shaking her head. “Absolutely not.”

Shepard ignored Miranda and looked instead to Oriana, who shifted uncomfortably. “How long?”

“Shepard you can’t even stand up yet. And even if you could, you’d just make it worse by being an even bigger target. No one can know you’re alive. Not yet.”

Shepard’s sharp gaze snapped to Miranda, “So there is a danger.”

Miranda shook her head again, “Shepard, you know in this galaxy there is always someone trying to take advantage of bad situations. Whether you like it or not you’ve become a symbol of this war, and despite the fact that you saved nearly everyone in every system, someone will always be there to blame you for the destruction as well.”

“There are extremist fringe groups gathering strength, railing against galactic unity and blaming you and anyone associated with you for the devastation. They blame you for bringing the Reapers down on us. They can’t be reasoned with and in your absence they are going after those who fought with you,” Oriana explained.

“And they’re taking actions against Liara?” Shepard demanded.

Oriana nodded.

Miranda interjected, “And Garrus, Tali, Wrex… pretty much anyone who is associated with you directly.”

“Dr. T’soni is scheduled to appear at a major event promoting galactic inter-species unity on Thessia in a few weeks. They are going to be unveiling a monument to mark the Reaper conquest. She has been a major part of trying to keep the peace since the war concluded,” Oriana continued.

“Liara is the Shadow Broker. She has a vast information network at her fingertips. She must know about the threat,” Shepard reasoned.

Oriana spoke up again, “The information networks have been scattered since the Reaper defeat and while she is still very active as the Shadow Broker, Dr. T’soni has focused her efforts on Thessia and the Asari as well as other refugees. If she is aware, she is not taking steps to prevent the attack as of yet.”

“And what intel do you have of potential attacks on that event?” Shepard directed her question to Miranda.

Miranda crossed her arms and remained silent.

Oriana answered in her place, to Miranda’s continued annoyance, “The most dangerous group calls themselves the Redeemers. It is commonly thought that they originated from former Cerberus cells that were scattered after the death of the Illusive Man. However their methods are uncharacteristic of Cerberus and complex in design. Miranda believes they are not ex-Cerberus but a new terrorist group. They’ve implemented vicious targeted attacks on Armadas traveling back to their home worlds that participated in the war effort as well as attacking other events like the…” Oriana trailed off and glanced at her sister who was glaring at her via vid com.

Shepard did her best to cross her arms without wincing. It seemed to work.

Oriana swallowed and continued, “There was an attack on a similar event that Tali’zorah was involved with just a few weeks ago. There were… heavy casualties.”

Shepard’s heart slammed hard against her chest, “Tali?”

“Escaped unharmed,” Oriana added quickly, “but many others were killed or wounded in the attack and that colony has withdrawn it’s support of the unity cause.”

“So they were successful and no doubt want to up the anti,” Shepard said, forcing the thudding against her ribs to slow.

Oriana nodded.

“How long will it take to get to Thessia?” Silence. Shepard turned to Miranda in the vid com and leaned forward adopting an aggressive glare. Anyone who had seen Commander Shepard in action knew this look and knew it meant business. “Miranda you know I’ll find a way to go with or without your help.”

Miranda’s perfect, genetically engineered body stood rigid, fists clenched against her sides. She was not one to be manipulated. She was never one to back down. And neither was Commander Shepard. They had saved each other’s lives many times. Miranda had even brought Shepard back from the dead… twice now it would seem. But more than that, Shepard had made Miranda feel her value as more than some idealist experiment born of her father’s madness. Shepard had given Miranda back her humanity.

After a moment Miranda shook her head in defeat. “Two of the mass relays between Earth and Thessia are in emergency working order. I have access to the emergency codes. You could get there within a few days with a FTL ship.”

“Where do I get one?”

“I’ll make some arrangements for you, but Shepard, I’m deadly serious. No one can know you’re alive and cavorting around in space. Not yet. The situation is far too… volatile.”

Shepard nodded.

“What about Admiral Hackett?” Oriana asked her sister.

Miranda shook her head. “He’d never allow it. Better to ask forgiveness after the fact.” She glared at Shepard, but a knowing smile teased her lips. “Barely out of a coma and already causing me a major shit storm.”

“If something happens to Liara you’ll find out what a shit storm is really like,” Shepard said, letting the anger enter her voice.

“I’ll make arrangements for your departure.”

Miranda turned to log off but Shepard stopped her, “Miranda.” She looked up at Shepard. “Thanks. For,” she motioned to her broken but living body, “everything.”

“I like being in a position where you owe me Shepard,” she smirked characteristically and logged off.

Oriana smiled shyly, “I don’t have the hang of this secrecy stuff quite yet.”

Shepard placed a hand on her shoulder and looked the younger Lawson sister in the eye. “I hope you never do.”


	3. Chapter 3

When Oriana came in for her morning vital statistics check the next day, she stopped short. The room was empty. A wave of panic seized her until a noise from the bathroom drew her attention.

“Commander Shepard?”

Shepard was leaning against the sink, studying herself in the mirror. She was barely recognizable even to herself. Her cheeks were sunken and hollow, her eyes shrouded in dark circles, their normally vibrant blue, dull and bloodshot. Her red hair was dark and limp. Red, raw patches of new skin covered her everywhere. Neuro-sutures held together what was going to be an angry scar above her left eye. Her left side, where most of the pain still originated from, remained discolored and was marred by angry scars even though the damage had been done months prior. She ran her finger tips gently over the jagged raised tissue of the scar on her side, her mind flashing to the memory of pulling her hand away from the same area and seeing it thick with blood. Her blood.

“It looks bad,” Oriana stated, “but your recovery is actually quite remarkable.”

Shepard offered her a small smile before pushing herself up a little straighter. “My left side seems to be where I have the most pain.”

Oriana nodded. “I believe it took the brunt of the blast.”

“I had a pretty bad injury there before the blast,” Shepard muttered, her thoughts drifting back to the darkness.

“In that case, since your armor was already compromised in that area, the blast likely did more damage there than anywhere else.”

Shepard nodded, looking back at herself. Not understanding how she survived at all. Not convinced she did.

Finally she turned to face Oriana, “Ok, lets get to work.”

###

Shepard spent the next few days pushing her recovery. Oriana commented on how remarkably fast her improvement was after lying in a coma for nine months. But to Shepard, with Liara’s life in the balance, nothing was fast enough.

When the time came to leave the med facility to meet the ship Miranda had arranged, Shepard was moving confidently under her own power and her color had returned to normal. Her left side still ached but on the day before they left she’d been able to launch into a full sprint without completely collapsing afterwards.

Oriana’s help and encouragement had been invaluable. She had blushed when Shepard told her she had a gift for caring for people.

They met with Miranda over vid com before departing. Her blue-ish three dimensional image paced as she spoke, “I’ve arranged for the ship but you’ll be flying it yourself. We can’t risk exposure to anyone if it can be avoided. And you’ll need to wear your cover at all times.”

Shepard glanced over at the Quarian enviro suite Miranda had provided. She’d be fully masked head to toe as all Quarians were and no one would question why. She picked up the gloves, shoving her five fingers into the form of three in the gloves, then wiggled them experimentally. “This will take a little getting used to,” she muttered to herself.

“We’ve also included a voice modulator in the mask, so you can talk regularly and the mask will do the rest,” Oriana added.

“Good,” Shepard gave Oriana a quick smile before turning her attention back to Miranda. “Have you tried contacting Liara?”

Miranda grimaced, anger flashing briefly in normally stoic eyes. “Of course,” she snapped. “I haven’t spoken to her directly but her… people claim they are fully prepared. My sources continue to indicate otherwise. The Asari can be… arrogant.”

Shepard frowned, knowing Liara was anything but and noting Miranda’s obvious frustration. It only steeled her resolve to address the threat herself.

“Does she know about me? That I’m alive?” she managed to keep most of the strain from her voice.

“No, there’s just no way to do that securely.”

Shepard nodded, absently running a finger along the new scar on her forehead.

“Shepard, you know I’m still very much against this idea,” Miranda said leaning forward.

“Noted,” Shepard responded.

“Very well,” she sighed. “Then you should be going. I’ll continue to monitor the situation and inform you of any intel I come across. These terrorists have been hard to spot. They send in small infiltration groups and have members from many species working with them so it could be anyone.”

“All the more reason to suspect they aren’t ex-Cerberus,” Shepard mumbled, memories of the former pro-human group flickering before her.

“One last thing,” Oriana interjected.

Miranda raised an eyebrow, “Yes, what is it?”

“I’m going with Commander Shepard,” she said, trying to sound as confident as possible.

“The hell you are!” Miranda snapped. “It’s far too dangerous. I won’t allow you to put yourself in harms way.”

“Neither will I,” Shepard said. “She can stay with the ship, far from the action.”

Oriana smiled, happy to have Shepard’s support.

“I don’t want you involved with this,” Miranda insisted.

“Miranda,” Oriana stepped closer to the vid, “I love you but you can’t protect me by making me a prisoner. I want to be there in case Commander Shepard is injured. I can also report back to you what I see.” She paused, “I know you’ve worked my whole life to protect me, to try to give me the normal life that you weren’t offered. But I want this. I want to help.” She allowed herself a smile, “And remember I’m just as genetically stubborn as you are.”

Miranda shook her head slowly, then locked eyes with Shepard. “Take care of her,” she said darkly, and logged off without another word.


	4. Chapter 4

The FTL ship was hardly larger than a shuttle, with minimal living space for the several days it would take to reach Thessia via FTL and the emergency relays. Despite that, Oriana was practically bubbling with excitement and that made Shepard smile. Not that you could see it behind the Quarian mask.

As she announced their departure to the docking control tower, her own modulated voice sounded alien to her. They rose above Vancouver slowly, giving Shepard her first real view of the planet post-Reaper invasion. Most of the city lay in ruins. Dark scorched and scarred earth covered wide swaths in streaks and patches. She felt like a knife was twisting in her gut when she thought of the amount of lives lost. But when she looked closer she could see signs of activity, re-growth. New structures where old ones once stood. Various ships and shuttles zipped by on their business. Patches of green had started to reclaim the blackness left behind. The earth was going to recover, slowly but it would happen, just as it had with her own body.

She turned her attention to space. It was comforting to feel the thrum of a ships engines around her again, even a ship as small as this. This was how she had grown up, on space stations and ships surrounded by stars, always accompanied by the sounds of engines and muffled com voices.

Now in the safety of space, she removed the Quarian mask and gloves and rubbed her face. “Itches in there,” she commented.

Oriana smiled.

Shepard’s thoughts turned to Thessia, to Liara. The thought of seeing her in person instead of in dreams made her heart leap to her throat. She’d felt in the days leading to the final attack that they had come to a place together where the uncertainty and hurt and complications of the years prior had finally passed. That the barriers to them being together had finally been surpassed, with the exception of the Reapers. And now it was all broken again. Did Liara believe she was dead? Could their relationship withstand that again? She didn’t know. _What if she’s moved on_ , a fear voiced itself in her head. A flush of violent heat swept up her body at the thought. Anger, sharp and dangerous flooded her mind… sparked by the fear it could be true and her lack of control in her own destiny. The last time she’d thought Shepard dead, Liara had spiraled into a dark place. How would she be this time?

As much as Liara consumed her thoughts, she knew she had to focus on stopping the threat first, or else the rest wouldn’t matter.

###

“They will likely have one or more operatives on the ground and a sniper positioned as a backup. They used a similar tactic when they attacked the Galactic Unity event several weeks ago.”

Shepard was in her Quarian gear, minus the face mask, arms folded, listening to Miranda’s briefing on the Redeemers. Oriana was taking notes and scanning through readouts.

They had landed on Thessia in the dark early hours of the morning. Shepard hadn’t been able to sleep, her mind and body poised for action. Besides, closing her eyes only invited the darkness to overwhelm her. She was anxious to get started and it was taking all of her self control not to be reckless.

“What should I look for?” she asked the sisters.

“The Redeemers seem to be purists. They won’t use biotics. They are more likely to use operatives to trigger explosions and upon failure of that, take out high priority targets with snipers,” Oriana explained.

“Targets like Liara,” Shepard said.

“Or you Shepard, should your identity be discovered,” Miranda added gravely. “I’ve given Oriana a scanner to detect any concentrated explosive materials. She will be in contact via your omni-tool feeding you updates. The scanner will be in your suit so you will need to circulate in the crowd to get the readings.”

“How close do I have to be to detect the explosives?”

“Within ten meters, approximately.”

Shepard nodded.

“No weapons will be allowed in the event area but,” Oriana pulled out a case from one of the nearby consoles. “This is a special weapon that should incapacitate any attackers.”

Shepard turned the small, cylindrical device in her hands. It concealed nicely in the pocket on her suite. “ _Should_ incapacitate?”

“It’s been tested on a Krogan and Vorcha and was successful. But it’s less effective on someone capable of biotics. So if the Redeemers are using other Asari for the assault…” Miranda explained.

“Then I guess I’ll take them down to the old fashioned way.” Shepard cracked her knuckles.

Miranda sighed loudly, a hand running through her dark hair in an uncharacteristic show of stress. “Shepard, I wish you would reconsider. These Redeemers are dangerous.”

“That’s exactly why they have to be stopped. I’m not leaving Liara’s safety up to anyone else.” Her tone left no room for argument.

Miranda shook her head, “Very well. I’ll be monitoring your progress. Good luck Shepard.”

Miranda’s image de-rezed and Oriana and Shepard were left standing in the ship’s com room.

“How are you feeling?” Oriana asked softly.

Shepard turned and pierced her with determined blue eyes, bright with purpose. “Ready.” She slid on her Quarian mask, tested the voice modulator and stepped out of the ship onto Thessia.


	5. Chapter 5

The crown jewel of the galaxy, as Thessia had been called before the Reaper attack, was alive with activity. The destruction left by the Reapers was plainly visible, but the rebuilding effort was much further along than Shepard had seen on Earth, no doubt a product of the rich natural resources and wealth of biotic strength Thessia benefitted from.

The galactic unity event was to be held at the re-opening of the Temple of Athame, a place Shepard had seen destroyed before her very eyes. The place where she had witnessed the fall of Thessia.

Shepard stopped at a news kiosk promoting the days plans. A new monument was to be unveiled to mark the events at the temple, followed by speakers on species unity, the key speaker being Dr. Liara T’soni. “Renowned Archeologist, Prothean expert and member of the heroic crew of the Normandy, led by human Spectre and Alliance Commander Jess Shepard (MIA),” the vid explained.

Shepard unconsciously reached up to rub her forehead before remembering she was dressed in a Quarian bio suite. “MIA is better than KIA I guess,” she muttered to herself. Then she melted into the crowd streaming towards the temple.

“I’m making my way through the crowd,” she said into her com link.

“Copy that Commander, I’m tracking you. No sign of explosive hot spots on the sensors yet,” she heard Oriana’s voice respond in the helmet.

Looking through the Quarian mask she scanned the crowd, searching for anything out of the ordinary. Most were Asari but other species were present as well: Human, Turian, Salarian, even a few other Quarians. Asari Commandos were out in force as well, providing security and checking for weapons.

The Temple of Athame towered above the crowd, bright and shining in the light of day from it’s newly completed construction. Asari architecture was sleek and beautiful and the temple was no exception with huge sweeping curves reaching for the sky. It was almost seductive, much like the Asari themselves.

A large draped object was at the entry way to the temple. Shepard assumed this to be the new monument scheduled to be unveiled in the ceremony. She walked within 10 meters to take a reading but Oriana reported back nothing.

“Making my way inside,” she informed her.

The temple ceiling stretched up to impossible heights and daylight filtered in from the lofty openings casting shafts of light on displays of ancient Asari carvings and texts. Shepard couldn’t help but look down at the floor, the floor that nine months earlier had collapsed underneath her as the temple came down around them. She’d almost fallen to her death. She would have if Liara hadn’t grabbed her hand at the last minute.

Liara. Her heart rate doubled instantly. She’d be seeing her soon. Alive. Mere meters away. She took a breath and focused. She circled the room, making note of the structure of the temple, trying to identify points vulnerable to attack. She checked in with Oriana again. Still no readings. After circulating through the temple thoroughly and finding nothing she headed back outside.

The crowd was gathered around the still shrouded monument. Near it, a stage was raised with a podium for the speakers and was flanked by large vid screens on either side to project the speakers larger than life.

“Still nothing,” she heard Oriana’s voice say.

Shepard grimaced behind the mask. The crowd was getting thicker, making it harder to move around. She glanced upwards at the areas surrounding, looking for places snipers might hide. There were three other nearby towering structures, two still under construction, ideal hiding places and the bright light of day made it difficult to pick out any movement.

“I don’t like this,” she told Oriana. “Too many places to hide and too many people.”

Suddenly a hush ran through the crowd and everyone turned to the podium. An Asari Matriarch was on the stage. It was beginning.

“My fellow Asari and friends from across the Galaxy, I welcome you to Thessia. This day will mark another stride forward in restoring civilization since the devastating Reaper invasion,” the Matriarch began.

Shepard moved through the crowd slowly, eyes scanning everyone and everything.

“Commander Shepard!” she heard Oriana’s voice sound excitedly. “The scanner is indicating a hot spot near your vicinity. Updating your nav point.”

Shepard moved forward slowly, the proximity indicator counting down as she closed in.

She narrowed her focus to a Salarian in the crowd. He was listening to the Matriarch’s speech, but taking moments to glance around the crowd as well. Everyone else around him was rapt with attention.

“Got him,” Shepard said in her com link. As she came to stand behind him, her proximity meter became solid. She pulled the cylinder from her hiding place and deftly jabbed him with it in his side. The Salarian collapsed immediately, causing a minor stir in the crowd in the immediate area. Two Asari Commando’s made their way to the fallen Salarian as Shepard melted back into the crowd.

“Neutralized. Keep scanning, I doubt he was alone,” she told Oriana.

The Matriarch’s speech concluded, the crowd clapping. She raised her hands for silence. “I bring up now an Asari that embodies the spirit of exploration and courage we all strive to reach.”

Shepard stopped, her eyes focused on the stage, holding her breath without realizing it.

“I present you Dr. Liara T’soni.”

And then there she was. Walking onto the stage. Liara. Shepard could hear her name being carried on the wind from her dream. The Asari archeologist and information broker looked confident striding to the podium to join the Matriarch and the crowd erupted into fervent applause. Liara smiled and raised her hand in humble acknowledgement of the crowd’s excitement. Shepard was lost. Liara’s face filled the vid screens on either side of the stage. She couldn’t help but watch her, captivated by her movements, her beauty, and all of the details she knew so well. And she was real. Not a dream. It took everything in her not to storm the stage and rush her away to safety.

“Thank you.” The sound of her voice caused chills under Shepard’s suit. “Now we unveil a tribute, so that we may remember that unity across our worlds is what has allowed us to be here today. And to remind us of those who sacrificed so much to bring us here.” She nodded her ascent and the cover fell away. Shepard’s mouth dropped open behind her mask.

Revealed, shining in polished glory under the Thessia sun was a bronze larger than life statue of Commander Shepard herself. The crowd erupted into applause and cries of “Hero” and “Shepard”. The statue was of Shepard, in full N7 armor, a rifle at her side, pointing off into the distance as if calling others into action. Calling them to follow her into battle. Shepard felt overwhelmingly ill at the sight, bile burning into her throat.

Her attention returned to the stage as the crowd remained focused on the statue. Liara’s face was magnified on the giant screens. Her lips were tilted into a smile but it failed to reach her eyes. Her gaze avoided the monument itself. Shepard wanted to go to her, to hold her, to be held by her. She wanted them to find safety and comfort in each other.

“Commander, the sensors are picking up another signal,” Oriana’s voice broke through the emotional haze that had consumed her. She snapped back to reality, swallowing hard, her eyes scanning the faces around her.

“Where?” she demanded, her voice low and dark.

“Updating nav point now.”

The proximity detector led her closer to the statue. The crush of the crowd was thick, all trying to get closer, some trying to touch the monument. Shepard wanted to shake them. Her eyes found another Quarian amongst the masses, allowing himself to be pushed and swayed by the flux of people around him. She narrowed her gaze and made her way towards him. As she suspected, the proximity detector confirmed her assessment. She pulled out her weapon and concealed it by her side. The Quarian noticed her and nodded at what he thought was one of his species. Shepard allowed her emotion to surface in the form of violence as she stabbed him viscously in the side with the weapon. He slumped over immediately, though the thickness of the crowd kept him from dropping to the ground.

“Neutralized,” she reported to Oriana.

“That may be all. We suspected there were two on the ground at the Quarian incident.”

“Then snipers are the next threat,” she said, weaving her way closer to the stage. She glanced up, scanning the surrounding areas, looking for movement or a tell-tale glint from a gun sight, anything that could help her. Nothing. She maneuvered towards the steps, preparing herself to rush the stage if needed.

“Commander! Another explosive signature!” Oriana exclaimed through the comm.

Shepard noted the updated nav point and scanned the area around her. She was on the edge of the crowd now, near the steps to the stage. Everyone was turning their attention back to podium and Liara. Shepard scanned the crowd in her vicinity but no one stood out.

“They’re moving,” Oriana warned.

Shepard glanced around desperately and finally saw her. An Asari Commando. One of the guards on the stage. Edging her way closer to the podium. The Asari glanced around her and started to reach for something. Shepard was instantly moving, charging the stage. The Asari looked up at the sudden motion, startled. Shepard was fast enough to get to her before she could raise a shield with her biotics. She tackled her full force, rolling onto center stage. The crowd gasped and a few screams echoed off of the temple walls.

Shepard jabbed the weapon into the Asari’s side, but it had no affect. She tossed it away quickly and began smashing her fists into the Asari’s face and body instead. The Commando fought for a moment but Shepard had managed to surprise her and before she could react, she collapsed unconscious under the savage attack. Suddenly Shepard was fighting others, the surrounding Asari commandos pulled her up and restrained her with their biotics. Shepard was breathing hard, her blood pumping furiously, fighting with pure adrenaline.

“What is the meaning of this!” the Matriarch demanded. The crowd was in full alarm. The Matriarch came towards her and with her Liara. At the sight of Liara, Shepard stilled. Her body relaxed against the biotic restraints and she let the bloodlust slowly drain out of her.

Shepard nodded towards the Asari she had subdued, lying motionless a few meters away. “She is a Redeemer. She was going to set off a bomb.”

The crowd gasped and began to disperse in a semi-panic.

Liara studied the Quarian being restrained in front of her, tilting her head slightly to the side. Shepard could feel the intensity of the scrutiny in her gaze. She nodded to one of the Commando’s. “Check her,” Liara commanded.

The Commando went to the fallen Asari, searching her. After a moment she held up with a thermal detonator, armed and ready for use.

“By the Goddess,” the Matriarch exclaimed, her hand going to her mouth. She turned to Shepard, “You have saved us my Quarian friend.” She bowed slightly, “We thank you.” She motioned for the Commandos to release her, and as they did Shepard’s intuition caused her to glance left, towards a nearby tower. A glint or change in light, something subtle, caught her eye. Her reaction was immediate. She took two steps and threw herself towards Liara. Liara reacted quickly, using her biotics to fling Shepard twenty meters sending her crashing into one of the vid screens, but in doing so she ducked and spun, causing the sniper bullet that ripped through the air in the same moment, to miss her by mere centimeters. The crack from the sniper shot followed and pandemonium ensued. The crowds ran in a full panic. The Commandos threw up a biotic shield over Liara and the Matriarch, looking off towards the tower for a target.

Seeing nothing, they quickly began moving Liara and the Matriarch off the stage towards safety. Liara turned and pointed to the Quarian she had thrown who was now collapsed at the back of the stage. “Bring her,” she commanded. Two of the Commando’s rushed back, helped Shepard to her feet and shuffled her into safety.


	6. Chapter 6

The pain in Shepard’s side was excruciating but it paled in comparison to her impatience. She paced awkwardly, stopping to stare down from the high window of the tower she now found herself in, then paced again. The Commandos had left her in a secure room in one of the towers near the temple. The room was sparse but elegantly decorated. Shepard wanted to rip it apart.

She stopped by the window again, arms at her sides, fists clenched, staring unseeing into the bright sunlight. She replayed the last moments of action again in her mind. The feeling of her fists crushing the Asari Redeemer. Liara looking at her, looking at a Quarian, a stranger. The imperceptible something that triggered her into action, diving at Liara with everything she had only to feel herself being flung against the wall and crashing to the ground.

She had blacked out but only for a moment. She tried to contact Oriana to let her know what had happened but her com link was dead. _Everything around you dies_ , a voice in the back of her mind said. She shut her eyes hard against the thought and wished she could rub her face through the infernal Quarian mask.

She heard the sound of the door open and several sets of footsteps coming in. Commandos she surmised and when they stopped behind her, she turned. There were two Commandos guarding the door but standing a mere few meters in front of her was Liara herself. Shepard’s mouth went dry.

Liara remained silent a long moment, arms folded, studying the Quarian in front of her. Finally she said, “You knew of the Redeemer threat when you came here today?”

Shepard nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

“How did you come by this information?”

Shepard remained silent, as much muted by the nearness of Liara as the situation at hand. Receiving no answer, Liara shifted tactics and began to pace contemplatively, her confident, Shadow Broker persona firmly in place. Shepard watched her, a smile tempting her behind her mask.

“Ok,” she said smoothly. “Let’s start over. What is your name?”

After a moment, Shepard folded her arms, tilted her head to one side and nodded towards the Commando guards. “If we can speak in private I’ll tell you everything you want to know,” she heard her own altered voice say.

Liara looked thoughtful for a moment. “You’ve saved my life twice today so I suppose I can trust you not try anything further.”

The Quarian chuckled and then grabbed her side in pain. “If I do I have no doubt you can defend yourself.”

Liara nodded to the guards to leave. They snapped to attention, “As you command Dr. T’soni,” and they departed.

And then they were alone.

“So tell me,” Liara began again, “who are you and what are you doing on Thessia?”

Shepard dropped her hand from her side and turned back to the window, looking out over Thessia, a place she thought was lost not so long ago. The nine months in the darkness felt like years. Fighting. Fighting to get to this moment.

“I knew a beautiful Asari once,” she began quietly, her back still to Liara “and I made her a promise.”

Liara took a few wary steps closer. “What kind of promise?” she asked.

Shepard looked out into the daylight a moment, then taking a breath, she removed her face mask and spoke with her own voice. “I promised to always come back.”

Liara didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. Shepard turned towards her, the hood of her suit still shadowing her face. Her eyes searched Liara’s face for a reaction, hoping to discern where she stood. She felt as if her own sanity were teetering in the balance.

“Jess,” Liara whispered.

Shepard smiled slightly at the sound of her name from Liara’s lips. A name only Liara used in their private moments. “A little worse for wear…” she started but her voice deserted her as Liara stepped close, very close, their bodies almost touching. She reached up, her hands hovering for a moment before gently pushing back the hood of the Quarian suit, fully revealing Shepard’s face. Liara’s blue eyes searched Shepard’s face frantically as if making sure it was her, that she was real. Her hand came up again and ever so gently touched Shepard’s cheek, blue eyes settling on blue. Shepard leaned into her touch.

Then Liara kissed her. Hard. Shepard reached up taking her face in both hands, any pain forgotten. _This is why you fight the darkness_ , the voice in her head said.

After a moment Liara pulled away, tears in her eyes. She ran her hands carefully along Shepard's face, drinking her in. “I knew it,” she whispered. She leaned her forehead against Shepard's and closed her eyes, “I knew you were alive.”

“I would have come sooner but I only just woke up, ” Shepard said softly, “Hackett had me taken to a secure facility to… recover.”

Liara pulled back slightly and looked at her carefully, “Are you alright?”

Shepard’s lips quirked into a lopsided grin. “Well I was doing quite nicely until someone threw me into a wall.”

“Oh by the Goddess, do you need medical attention?” Liara was suddenly frantic, running her hands over Shepard’s arms and chest, searching for injury.

Shepard stilled her hands with her own and smiled gently. “I’m ok Liara.”

Liara took Shepard’s face in her hands, “But what are you doing here? How did you…”

She was cut off by the Commandos voice outside the door. “Dr. T’soni, we have a human here demanding to speak to the Quarian.”

Liara glanced a questioning look at Shepard who in turn nodded in ascent and stepped back, slipping the face mask and hood back into place. “Show them in,” Liara said.

“As you command Dr. T’soni.” The two Commandos stepped back into the room and a moment later Oriana Lawson came rushing in. She stopped short when she saw Liara and let out a visible sigh when she recognized Shepard in her disguise.

Liara recognized her immediately and dismissed the guards. Once they were gone Oriana looked from Shepard to Liara, then back again. Shepard removed her mask and smiled reassuringly at Oriana.

“Liara you remember Oriana Lawson,” she said.

“Of course,” Liara said, her smile cautious. “I should have guessed a Lawson was involved.”

“We lost contact and people were running, it was a panic, I thought… I didn’t know… I thought…” Oriana blurted out.

Shepard walked towards her slowly, wincing and holding her side. “Don’t worry Oriana, everything is fine. We stopped them in time.”

Oriana rushed over to her and helped her to one of the few chairs in the room, kneeling next to her. “I was so worried. You look like you’re in pain. Are you hurt? Where does it hurt?” the younger Lawson rattled on.

Liara raised an eyebrow at Shepard who could only smile in response. “I’m fine Oriana, really.” She placed a calming hand on the girls shoulder and she relaxed a bit. “Hackett enlisted Miranda to keep my recovery quiet,” she told Liara.

“Of course, who else.” There was sharpness in her tone but Shepard let it pass for the moment.

“Oriana took good care of me. She also helped me locate the Redeemers in the crowd today. Without her help…” Shepard shook her head, not wanting to voice the rest.

Liara let her misgivings go and smiled graciously, “Then I owe you a great debt,” she looked back at Shepard, “on many counts.” Shepard returned her gaze, hunger edging into her eyes.

Liara glanced back at Oriana and smiled again, “You must be exhausted. Let me have you settled in a comfortable room. It is the least I can do.”

Oriana hesitated, “I promised Miranda I’d stay on the ship…”

“This building is secure, you’ll be perfectly safe.” Liara helped Oriana gently to her feet and led her towards the door. “Please, allow me to provide you this courtesy.”

Oriana glanced back at Shepard who nodded. “Ok,” she relented. “Thank you.”

Liara ushered her into the anti-room. Speaking to her Asari assistant pouring over a data pad she said, “Nadina, will you please provide a room for our guest and see that she gets whatever she needs to be comfortable.”

Nadina snapped to attention, “Of course Dr. T’soni.” She extended her arm to lead the way and ushered Oriana out.

“And the Quarian?” the lead Commando asked.

“She’s harmless. I’ll handle her,” she stated.

“Are you sure doctor?” the Commando seemed confused.

“Yes, absolutely sure. You are dismissed.” Liara allowed some hardness into her voice on the last command that prompted the Commando into action.

“As you command Dr. T’soni,” she said snapping to attention, then ushered the other guards out.

When Liara returned to the room, she found Shepard by the window again. She came to stand next to her, silently slipping an arm around her waist. Shepard’s thoughts seemed to be far away. After a moment she said, “I keep thinking about the last time I was here.”

Liara followed her gaze to the Temple of Athame and nodded. “I know.” She pulled Shepard’s gaze away from the temple with a gentle hand on her cheek. “But it’s over now,” she said quietly. “You did it. You destroyed the Reapers. Anyone left alive in this galaxy has you to thank.” She nodded down to the plaza, to the bronze statue. “There is a monument down there that says so. They are being displayed in cities across the galaxy courtesy of the Counsel.”

Shepard grimaced and shook her head, “It’s dangerous to put war in the context of one person. What about the millions that died while we traded favors for a chance at winning a hopeless fight? What about you? You were fighting by my side. And Ash and Garrus and everyone else on the Normandy and all of the other ships. Not to mention the soldiers and civilians fighting on the ground. They knew their death was almost a certainty and yet they continued to fight to buy us time. They should be cast in bronze, not me.”

Liara stopped her with a gentle finger on her lips. “Sometimes people need a hero to believe in. Those people out there and others like them across the galaxy chose you for that. Whether you like it or not.”

Shepard shook her head, “It feels wrong to me.”

“Maybe because it is about you.”

“Maybe,” she said softly. She looked into Liara’s eyes and lost herself. “Let’s talk about something else.”

Liara smiled, almost shy, “Or let’s not talk at all.”

Shepard kissed her deeply, pulling her close. When she broke away they were both breathless, resting their foreheads together. “Put that mask on for a minute more and we’ll find some place more private,” Liara said.

“As you command, Dr. T’soni,” Shepard smiled, slipping the mask on.


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard woke in darkness.

She waited, tense, expecting the gunfire, the screams, the hot red beam of death. But it didn’t come. Instead there was quiet with only the sound of soft breathing nearby.

She turned her head to the side to see Liara sleeping against her. Her blue skin exposed from the waist up, her arm draped possessively over Shepard’s stomach. Shepard took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was over. She was alive. She was with Liara. _You mean everything to me_ , she could remember herself telling Liara before she left her the last time. It was true still, and always would be.

She allowed herself a smile, watching Liara sleep.

Their first joining once reaching Liara’s suite had been fast and filled with urgency. Liara had stripped her of the damned Quarian suit quickly and they tumbled into bed and consumed each other. The moment Shepard felt Liara’s consciousness touch hers through the Asari bonding she was overwhelmed with a sense of longing and desire, loss and terrible joy, relief and possession. The contact was intense both physically and emotionally.

The second time, soon after the first, was slower, deliberate and explored a depth of joining they had yet to experience together. Shepard could feel Liara’s questions in her own consciousness. She wanted to know what Shepard had seen, what she had felt, what she had suffered. Shepard opened herself fully, holding nothing back. She had decided on her flight to Thessia that holding back the pain and fear would only get in their way. She wasn’t used to being vulnerable in this way and she didn’t want to burden Liara with her fears, but with so many other things between them, she decided her own fears would not be one of them.

Liara took it all in and after they climaxed together and Shepard looked into her eyes, she found them filled with tears. A mix of sadness and compassion. Liara touched Shepard’s face gently. She ran a finger lightly along the fresh scar on her forehead then met her eyes again. She knew everything now. Anderson, The Illusive Man, the Catalyst AI, the choice, all of it.

“You had to choose,” Liara said softly.

Shepard was suddenly back with the Catalyst AI facing her decision. She could see Earth far below, on fire. She could feel the pistol in her hand. She felt the sudden flash of heat.

Shepard blinked hard, and when she opened her eyes again, she found Liara watching her.

“It was an impossible choice,” Liara said quietly. The AI had given her three choices. Control, Synthesis, or Destroy. Each was fraught with unknowns. Each would extract a cost, a sacrifice. “Not a question of who to save, but who to destroy,” Liara whispered. She had put a perfect point on it. Shepard nodded, closing her eyes again. Someone else understood.

Liara kissed her gently. “You did everything you possibly could.”

“What would you have chosen?” she asked Liara quietly. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer but the question came unbidden.

Liara looked away, reflecting. “I don’t know. Until faced with death in that moment maybe we cannot know.” Her eyes went back to Shepard, “You were the one tasked with that impossible choice. You shouldered that burden alone. I trust you did what was best, for as many as you could.”

Shepard nodded. She suddenly felt relief. The great weight sitting on her chest since she’d woken eased a little. She had room to breathe a little deeper. Someone else knew what she’d been through. Knew of the terrible choice she’d had to make. And there was no one else in the galaxy she’d have wanted that to be but Liara.

Concern entered Liara’s eyes, “Does anyone else know about the choice you had to make?”

Shepard shook her head. “No. No, it seemed too… complicated… to explain.”

“I agree. It is pointless to second guess what cannot be changed. I suggest you keep it to yourself, that part at least. From Hackett and the Alliance, from the Council, from everyone.”

“What about you?” Shepard asked, wondering how the burden would affect the Asari.

“We are one, Shepard. Now more than ever. I am… honored… to share this with you. To know you, completely.”

Shepard allowed herself a smile. “Same here Liara.” And she kissed her. When they parted again, Shepard brought up the question she’d been dreading the most. “How are you? I mean the first time I died was hard enough and now again…”

Liara stopped her with a finger gently against her lips. “The first time was very… difficult,” she started, looking away for a moment.

So much had happened, so much had changed those two years Shepard was the subject of the Lazarus Project. Most of all Liara herself had changed. Changed from an innocent, curious archeologist to a cynical, aggressive, angry information broker. She had lost herself in her work, lost her moral compass, lost her heart. Every time she closed her eyes those two years, she saw Shepard’s cold remains before she had turned them over to Cerberus.

By the time Shepard was herself again, Liara had become someone else. Someone hardened, someone who avoided emotion, dealt in information and wielded power. Too much power. Or maybe it was an illusion and there was no power at all.

So much time wasted, she had reflected later. Time she could have spent with Shepard when all she did was push her away. By the time Shepard returned, Liara didn’t know if she was still capable of love. But Shepard had been quietly persistent, her feelings for Liara a constant. Eventually Liara had found herself again. Still changed from the young scientist Shepard rescued on Therum, but a balance was struck within her. They found their way back to each other, stronger together for the journey. Only to be ripped apart again.

But this time, Liara had been prepared. She knew going in the chances of success and survival were slight. Instead of closing herself off to avoid the pain, Liara had tried to be in the moment, present with her beloved. Telling her and showing her how much she cared. Still the image of Shepard backing away from her on the bay door of the Normandy and running off into the heart of the Reaper fight haunted her nightmares.

She had searched desperately for Shepard’s body on the Citadel, on Earth, searched the hospitals and triages, searched wounded and dead reports from the Alliance, especially the classified ones. After weeks and weeks, she felt a resignation settle into her soul. Shepard was gone. Again. Lost to her. And then…

Liara looked into Shepard’s eyes and touched her cheek tenderly, “I had dreams about you. That you were alive…somewhere.” She looked away a moment, shaking her head, “It sounds… silly.” Her eyes found Shepard’s again, “I have had this recurring dream for some time. Even before the final push against the Reapers. You and I in a park I used to play in as a child. It is always very quiet, very peaceful. We are watching…” she paused a moment, looking at Shepard carefully, “our child. Our daughter.” Shepard’s blue eyes focused on her intently. Liara continued, “Just sitting in the tall grass, under a great…”

“…tree,” Shepard finished for her.

Liara looked a little startled. “Yes,” she said surprised. “And the dream was always that for a long time. And then not long ago, I saw you…uh, another you. In armor, injured. You were watching us. You were trying to tell me something.”

Shepard sat up, her eyes wide. “I was there,” she said, unsettled. “I had a similar dream. I saw you. I was trying to warn you that something was coming. Something evil.”

They stared at each other for a moment, mystified.

“There are stories, legends really, of Asari bondmates that share a connection long after they have joined and are separated. It is very rare. But those stories have always involved two Asari. I have never heard of it happening between two different species,” Liara said.

“The tree you were under,” Shepard said, “ did it have a carving on the trunk…”

Liara was nodding, “An eight pointed star.”

Shepard ran a hand over her face. “So we were sharing the same dream?”

“It appears so,” Liara said, equally amazed. “It is how I felt I knew you were still alive somewhere.”

“Wow,” was all Shepard could think to say.

“My thoughts exactly,” Liara said softly.

After a moment, “A daughter huh?” Liara looked up and caught Shepard’s grin, that infectious, lopsided grin she loved. She looked away, suddenly shy. “We’d make a pretty cute kid from what I could see,” Shepard added.

Liara couldn’t help but smile and then Shepard caught her lips with her own. The newfound discovery of the depth of their bond rekindled the fire that smoldered between them. They held each other fiercely, as if they could meld flesh the way they melded minds and tumbled into ecstasy again.


	8. Chapter 8

There was sun filtering in from the windows when Liara woke again. She reached out for Shepard but found the bed next to her empty. A sudden fear gripped her. Maybe it had all been a dream.

She sat up, the covers falling to her waist and found Shepard standing by the window, looking out, lost somewhere in her thoughts. Liara took a deep breath, calming herself. It was real. She was real.

She noticed for the first time looking at Shepard’s naked body in the light of morning the scars marring her. Some were old, some were still red and angry. A dark bruise wrapped around her ribs on her left side and Liara felt a pang of guilt.

She walked up behind Shepard and gently slid her arms around her, resting her head against Shepard’s back. Shepard placed her hands on top of Liara’s and leaned into her, but remained staring out into the Thessia sun. After a moment Liara ran a hand gently over the dark bruise along her side as well as a ragged scar. “Are you sure you are alright?”

“I’ve died twice, this is nothing,” Shepard said, giving a small smile. She tore her gaze away from the landscape and turned to hold Liara in her arms. “I have to say I was impressed. I think your biotics have gotten stronger.”

Liara nuzzled her face into Shepard’s neck, breathing her in, feeling suddenly intoxicated as she always seemed to when they were this close. “They are always stronger here on Thessia. The Element Zero content is very high here which…”

Shepard had begun trailing kisses down her neck and Liara was loosing her train of thought rapidly. “…which boosts… oh Goddess…”

Shepard captured her lips, kissing her deeply, reveling in the feeling of their skin against each other. She could feel Liara’s consciousness beginning to mingle with hers and pulled her closer.

The com link beeped insistently at least three times before either of them heard it. They ignored it further, but it was persistent. Liara broke away from the embrace, breathless. The com link beeped again and she let out a frustrated sigh.

Reluctantly she walked over and activated the com. “Yes, what is it?” Shepard smiled to herself at the undisguised agitation in Liara’s voice.

“Apologies Dr. T’soni. Ms. Lawson is insisting on speaking with you urgently.”

With a node from Shepard she said, “Very well, show her in.” Liara tossed Shepard a well worn pair of her own N7 sweats. Shepard lifted an eyebrow in question and Liara merely smiled and pulled on her robe. They met Oriana in the adjoining room.

Oriana was twisting her hands nervously when they walked in. “Morning Oriana,” Shepard said, giving her a smile.

Oriana spun and stepped forward ready to launch into something but stopped short upon seeing Shepard, tilting her head analytically to the side. “Commander, you look… relaxed.”

Liara sat, crossed her legs and cast Shepard a satisfied smile. Shepard fought the grin that threatened, “Liara tends to have that affect on me.”

“Oh,” Oriana seemed at a loss for a moment.

“You had something urgent to discuss?” Shepard prompted.

“Yes, oh, yes of course.” Back on track she continued, “Miranda asked to speak with you on vid com. She said it’s urgent.”

Oriana produced a small quantum communicator and in a moment the image of Miranda Lawson resolved in front of them. “Shepard, good to see you’re still alive,” she said dryly. “Liara,” she said by way of greeting, a distinct chill in her tone.

Liara said nothing, her eyes steely. Shepard could feel the ripple of anger that radiated from Liara. Something had obviously transpired between these two in the nine months since the Reaper attack. Shepard made a mental note to ask Liara about it later.

“What have you got? Any intel from the Redeemer operatives we stopped?” Shepard asked.

“Unfortunately no. They were prepared for capture and managed to poison themselves before we could even begin to question them.”

Shepard frowned, “All of them? That’s dedication.”

“I warned you these people weren’t to be trifled with. They are extremists and very dangerous.”

“They are gone now,” Liara stated.

“Right. What’s so urgent?” Shepard said, crossing her arms.

“You are needed back on Earth immediately,” Miranda answered.

Shepard could feel Liara’s eyes on her. “Why immediately?”

“Hackett is aware of your recovery and is demanding to see you at Alliance HQ. He wants to debrief you personally. I haven’t told him about your little field trip, of course.”

Shepard nodded, not looking at Miranda or Liara. “Alright, we’ll leave within in the hour.” Her voice was resigned. She felt an ache tighten in her chest.

“Very well, contact me when you’ve passed through the first relay.” Miranda’s image disappeared.

“Oriana, ready the ship, I’ll meet you there,” Shepard said, her voice still subdued.

“Can I assume Dr. T’soni will be joining us?” she looked from one to the other, noting some tension.

“I will not be joining you,” Shepard heard Liara say. Shepard had known that would be her answer but hearing the words made the tightness in her chest increase.

“Very well Commander,” Oriana said, and then she was gone and Shepard and Liara were once again alone.

After a moment, Liara said quietly, “You know why I cannot come with you?”

Shepard didn’t answer and instead sighed and rubbed the scar on her forehead like it was aching.

“I need to finish what I started here…” Liara continued.

Shepard nodded, raising a hand, stopping her. “I know Liara. I know how important it is to you.” Shepard said.

Liara made her way over to Shepard. “Once the Normandy returned to Earth after… everything … I needed to do something… for my people.” She shook her head, “After we watched Thessia fall the feeling of guilt was overwhelming. I…”

Shepard stopped her by taking her hands in hers and kissing them. “I know Liara. I understand. I just hate the thought of being away from you again.”

Liara met Shepard’s eyes. “The last thing I want is to be away from you,” she said softly. “I need a few weeks to finish what I started, then I will meet you on the Citadel.” She hesitated in a brief moment of insecurity, “If you want me to come.”

Shepard answered by taking her in her arms and kissing her. Any doubt Liara had was swept away. When they parted Shepard whispered, “Don’t be too long Liara,” not hiding her need any longer, knowing Liara felt it too. She paused, looking into her eyes, trying to convey the depth of her feelings, “You mean everything to me,” she repeated softly.

Liara rested her forehead against Shepard’s, “And I am yours, always.”


	9. Chapter 9

Shepard was quiet most of the flight back to Earth. Oriana tried to engage her in conversation but Shepard stuck to few word answers and spent most of her time staring intently out of the window into space. She also rarely slept and when she did, she’d jolt awake violently, breathing hard, looking around desperately until she recognized where she was and remembered.

Post-Reaper defeat, Alliance Military HQ was relocated to the heavily damaged Citadel, which was still in orbit around Earth. As the shuttle approached the massive, ancient station Shepard leaned forward in her seat. Two of the five arms of the structure were mostly in tact. The other three, heavily damaged. Repair vehicles and equipment hovered around the decimated sections actively working on restoring the station.

Even so, the Citadel was in much better shape than Shepard would have imagined. Oriana directed the shuttle into the Alliance docking bays. Once they were docked, Oriana rose and started preparing to disembark but stopped and looked back at Shepard, who hadn’t moved from her seat. Shepard was looking down at her hands, turning the Quarian face mask around contemplatively.

“Commander, are you alright?” Oriana asked. “You’ve been… distracted… since we left Thessia.”

Shepard finally glanced up and gave her a half hearted smile. “Sorry Oriana, I know I haven’t been good company. I just… have a lot on my mind.”

“Of course,” she said softly. “Admiral Hackett is expecting us.” She motioned regretfully to the face mask. “You’ll need to wear that I’m afraid.”

Shepard stood, took a deep breath and donned the mask. Once in place she turned to Oriana. “Let’s not keep the Admiral waiting,” she said in her altered voice.

###

The passages of the Alliance area of the Citadel were filled with soldiers. Most looked young and exceptionally green. Shepard noted the activity as she followed Oriana’s lead. When she commented on the number and age of those around her, Oriana explained, “Alliance recruitment efforts have been stepped up since the Reaper invasion.” As they entered a larger atrium, she motioned to a recruiting advertisement above them. It was an enormous image of a fallen Reaper and standing beside it with a foot atop it, rifle in the air in victory, an image of Commander Shepard. The slogan, “Join the Alliance. Join the fight for Galactic Unity.”

Shepard hadn’t realized she’d stopped walking until a young soldier slammed into her. The soldier mumbled apologies and moved on. Oriana touched Shepard’s arm.

“What in Hannar hell is that?” Shepard demanded.

Oriana smiled placatively, “We shouldn’t keep the Admiral waiting. He can explain.”

Oriana led them into what was the former home of the Embassy offices, now the home of the Alliance HQ. After a quick word with the officer manning the reception desk, they were ushered into a large room. The last time Shepard had been in that particular room it had belonged to Counselor Udina. Now filled with Alliance galaxy maps and terminals, it hardly looked the same.

Sitting at the desk was a distinguished older man, his hair grey and his eyes clear blue. His face was stern, lined with years of service and marked by a distinctive scar. He stood when they entered, smoothing his dress uniform with a practiced hand. On the other side of his desk, the always striking figure of Miranda Lawson. Miranda didn’t bother to stand and instead leaned back and crossed her long legs.

“Officer,” he addressed the soldier who’d shown them in, “see that we are not disturbed.”

The officer saluted and departed. For a moment, no one moved or spoke. Then Shepard reached up and removed her face mask and pushed back her hood. Tucking the mask under her arm, she stood at attention, saluting the Admiral.

“Commander Shepard, reporting as requested Admiral.”

Hackett returned the salute automatically but he was staring, looking into the face of someone he’d last seen burnt beyond recognition.

“Christ Shepard, if I didn’t see you with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it.”

“The Lawsons seem to have that affect sir,” Shepard said, casting Miranda a half smile behind him.

Hackett waved Shepard towards an empty chair. “Please, sit down.” He made his way back to his desk. Oriana excused herself and slipped out quietly. Shepard took the seat next to Miranda.

“I have to admit,” Hackett began, “when I heard you regained consciousness I hadn’t expected to see you quite so recovered. Especially since your coma lingered long after your physical injuries had healed.”

Shepard cast Miranda a sideways glance causing the former Cerberus operative to shift uncomfortably in her seat and mutter, “Christ, here we go.”

“To be honest Admiral, once I regained consciousness I was motivated to push my recovery. I learned of a danger to a friend from the Redeemer terrorist group and I forced Miranda into helping me acquire a ship. I’ve been off world for the past week.”

The Admiral’s jaw flexed, “I see.” He turned his steely gaze to Miranda, “This would be the attempt on Dr. T’soni on Thessia I would venture to guess.”

Miranda spread her hands out in front of her, “You know the Commander, Admiral.”

“And while I certainly still have a bit of recovering to do before I’m entirely back to normal, the mission was a success,” Shepard finished.

Shepard became a little disconcerted when she saw a hint of a smile pass between Miranda and the Admiral. It was a minute gesture but her instincts began to nudge at her consciousness.

“But you already know that,” she said slowly. She looked at Miranda and back at the Admiral and it all became startling clear. And she didn’t like one bit. “This was a test.”

The Admiral stood, placing his hands behind his back and paced. “I suppose it was of sorts. Miranda rather correctly assumed that the speed of your recovery would be increased if faced with a motivating challenge. I was admittedly skeptical but then here you are.”

Shepard’s eyes were smoldering, her blood burning, “With all due respect sir, I don’t appreciate being manipulated.”

“Shepard,” Miranda began but Shepard stopped her by standing and cutting her heated gaze to her.

“Miranda get out!” Shepard snapped.

Miranda looked startled. She looked to Hackett who nodded his ascent. Miranda stood slowly, her usual indifferent mask slipping not so effortlessly over her perfect face. She cast one last look at Shepard before disappearing, leaving Shepard and Hackett alone.

“She saved your life Shepard…” Hackett began.

“Well if there is ever a next time she can stay the hell out of it. And the Alliance too for that matter.” Shepard was well on her way to furious. “You all think you’re doing me some great favor by bringing me back, but you’re bringing me back not because you give a damn. You’re bringing me back because you want to use me.”

A loud buzz had started in Shepard’s ears and she could feel her heart racing. Cerberus had used her once to their own ends but she had known not to trust them. But the Alliance was her life. She was a soldier. She had given everything and had trusted the chain of command without question. The sting of this realization was sending her into emotional overload. After all, to her it had only been a few weeks since she sat bleeding next to Anderson while he died, since she’d faced the terrible choice the Catalyst presented. Three years of fighting and death, suicide missions, insurmountable odds, and seemingly endless struggle. It was all still a fresh wound in Shepard’s soul and this manipulation was like grinding salt into it.

“I saw the statue on Thessia. I’ve seen the recruiting banners. And you can shove them all out of an airlock as far as I’m concerned. I gave my life for the Alliance and the Counsel. Twice! It’s enough. I want my life back and you can all go fuck yourselves.” Shepard was breathing hard, her head was aching terribly but she’d be damned if she let Hackett see that.

Hackett looked stricken. He shook his head and turned away, looking out into the bright artificial light of the Citadel. After a long moment of silence he said, “I’m sorry Shepard. You’re right.” He paused, shaking his head again. “I suppose I’m as bad as he was.”

Shepard knew exactly the “he” Hackett was referring to. “You’re not the Illusive Man yet Admiral. But take his fate as a cautionary tale.”

“What was his fate exactly? We never found his body.”

“He’s dead. He was indoctrinated. He killed himself when the gravity of his mistakes finally became clear. But not before he killed Anderson.”

Hackett turned back to her and nodded slowly. “I will… update Anderson’s file. We still have him listed as MIA but… well, we all knew…”

Shepard flexed her hand at her side, still feeling the pressure of the trigger against her finger as she shot Anderson. Reaper control or not, it had been her finger on that trigger. But she wasn’t going to give Hackett any more ammunition against her. Obviously he had plenty of control as it was.

“Look Commander, we are in a difficult position here. After the Reaper threat was over, the Galactic good will you’d fought so hard to build began to collapse. Rogue Krogan clans almost immediately attacked Turian and Salarian outposts. Some Quarian ships have been poaching other ships, worlds, even the Citadel. Humanity is fractured, forming militias, turning on each other. It has been… ugly. So we are trying to use the one thing everyone responds to. You. Regardless of species you managed to touch each of them, save all of them. They respect that. Even faced with your death they respect that. That is why we’ve used your image… as an iconic symbol to try to restore unity, to broker some peace. We kept your survival a secret because there are those that would make you a target. That and we needed to know the details of what had happened with the Catalyst. If there was any more danger. Then your recovery… stalled. Your body seemed healed but your coma persisted. When Miranda learned of the Redeemer threat against Thessia she suggested it as a tool to motivate you. She… we all… weren’t sure what you would be like when you regained your health. If you’d be changed in some way.”

“I am changed,” Shepard said darkly, “and I won’t be anyone’s puppet.” The buzz that had sounded so loudly in her ears moments before had subsided and left her with a pounding headache. The efforts of the last week were felt suddenly as a wave of exhaustion threatened to overwhelm her.

Hackett raised his hands in surrender. “I understand. I do. My hope would be that you would take some time to consider my offer.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow. _Here it comes_ , she thought. “What offer?”

“To continue with the Alliance, with a promotion to Captain, and as a Spectre.”

“And?” she knew without a doubt there was more.

“And to lead the galactic unity movement. The Alliance is working with the other Counsel races to form a new Galactic Fleet and we need a leader. You are that leader Shepard. Visit troubled worlds, negotiate peace, broker treaties. Take ownership of the iconic stature your actions have warranted and that every species across the galaxy has embraced.”

Shepard ran a hand through her auburn hair. Her heart felt like a stone being squeezed for another drop of blood. “First things first, I want my life back. No more hiding.” She paused, rubbing the scar on her head and scowling. She couldn’t think. “I need some time to consider the rest.”

“That’s all I can hope for Captain,” he said.

She thought of objecting to the promotion but was too exhausted to argue.

“We have arranged for an apartment for you in the secure officer tower. It should be safe there.”

She nodded, “One more thing Admiral.” The Admiral nodded, “Who is commanding the Normandy?”

Hackett smiled, “I thought you might ask about that.” He activated the com to the reception area. “Please show the Commander in.”

Shepard turned as the door opened and immediately recognized Ashley Williams.

“Ash!” she said, some of the weight in her chest lifting at the familiar sight of her friend.

The recently minted Commander Williams stopped short, her eyes widening and then narrowing in recognition. After a moment she walked up to Shepard.

“I’ll be damned. Back from the dead once was a feat, but twice?” and out of nowhere she punched Shepard hard in the gut.

Shepard’s ears were ringing, her breath gone, she dropped to a knee. A year ago she would have been faster, stronger. She could have avoided the hit, deflected it, countered, or just simply taken it. But in her current weakened state, the unexpected blow caught her hard.

“Commander!” she heard Hackett’s voice as though under water. “What the hell are you doing?”

A fire began to burn in Shepard’s chest. She flashed back to hits taken from husks, the demons clawing at her, trying to take her down. Rage rushed through her veins, the mad desire to live exploding in her. The sound of her own blood pumped loudly in her ears.

She swung her leg hard, knocking Ashley’s feet from under her and was on top of her before the Commander knew what happened. Shepard’s forearm pressed against her neck, cutting off her air flow. She jabbed two fingers from her right hand hard into Ashley’s side.

“Bang. You’re dead… _Commander_ ,” she wheezed through gritted teeth.

Ashley blinked, completely taken off guard. Then after a moment her face spread into a smile. “It _is_ you,” she rasped against the arm on her neck.

Shepard’s strength left her as the rage drained away, she rolled onto the floor next to Ashley, holding her side and trying the regain control over her breathing. “Of course it’s me you asshole. When are you going to learn.”

Hackett had his arms crossed, shaking his head. “You two have a strange way of saying hello.”

Ashley was back on her feet. “Sorry Admiral, it’s a Spectre thing,” she said. Then she reached down, offering a hand to Shepard.

Shepard eyed her skeptically, but took the offered help.

“Are you alright Captain? Should I call Oriana?” Hackett asked, concerned at the sudden pale pallor that had overtaken Shepard’s face.

She waved him off. “I’m fine.”

“Perhaps some rest then. Commander if you can control yourself,” he eyed her, causing her to snap to attention, “would you mind showing the Captain to her quarters in the Officer’s Tower.”

Ashley saluted, “Of course Admiral.” She accepted the location from him on her omni-tool.

“Shepard I’ll be in touch soon. I expect once you walk out that door there’s suddenly going to be a lot of questions to answer.”

Shepard nodded, finally having caught her breath. She tossed the Quarian mask at his feet and turned to leave without a backwards glance.

###

 

Once they were back out in the hallway Ashley let loose again, this time with her mouth. “What the hell Shepard?!” The volume of her voice and the sound of Shepard’s name made heads turn.

“Can we do this later Ash?” Shepard asked, pulling her hood up to shadow her face and grabbing Ashley’s arm encouraging her to move faster. People were stopping to stare. Not at the outburst, but at the ghost walking amongst them. She wanted the Galaxy to know she was alive, but emotionally and physically drained, she needed to gather herself.

Ashley shifted into soldier mode and she led the way. Once they were in the elevator to the Officer Tower though she turned on Shepard, hands on hips.

“Ok spill it.”

Shepard shrugged, sagging against the wall. “I didn’t die. Once again someone decided to keep that fact a secret and nurse me back to health so they could use me for who knows what. “ She closed her eyes rubbing her scar, “I don’t know Ash. It’s all new to me too.”

Ashley took a moment to absorb the information. She studied her former commander noting her pale face, shoulders rounded by fatigue, hands flexing in and out of fists at her sides. After a moment, Ash cast her a sideways smile, “Captain eh?”

Shepard popped an eye open, “Commander of the Normandy huh? I hope you’re taking good care of my ship.”

“She’s dry docked for a few weeks for repairs. We had a recent run in with the Blue Suns, chasing them off a Turian fleet headed back home. Nothing serious.” After a moment, “Guess you’ll be taking back your command once the repairs are complete.” Ashley looked at her feet.

Shepard put a hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know what’s going to happen Ash. But I do know there’s no one else I’d rather have in command of the Normandy than you.”

Ashley looked up, searching Shepard’s face, hoping to find truth. She smiled, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. “God, it’s good to see you Shepard.”

She smiled, “You too Ash.”

Ashley’s eyes suddenly went wide, “Liara!”

Shepard held up a hand, “She knows. I saw her a few days ago on Thessia.”

“Thank god, I didn’t want to have to make that call. Was she… how was she… with…?” Ashley lost words and just gestured to Shepard in general.

“She’s ok. We’re ok.”

Ashley nodded, “Good. It was… after you…” she lost her words again, just shaking her head.

“It’s ok,” Shepard told her. “Really. We can talk about it later.”

The elevator doors slid open and Ashley nodded, happy to delay the conversation to another time. She gestured to the door in front of them. “This is you.”

The doors swished open after a quick scan. The lights were off and the interior was dim except for light coming in from the distant windows. The construction looked new, likely recent repairs to the tower. The furniture was sparse but Shepard didn’t mind. As she took a few steps in the hairs on the back of her neck told her something was amiss. Ashley felt it too and drew her weapon.

“Who’s there?” Ashley demanded.

Miranda stepped out of the shadows, arms crossed.

Ashley lowered her weapon and mumbled to Shepard. “So do you seduce all the hot girls on your crew?”

“If that were the case you would have been the first, Commander,” Shepard shot back under her breath.

“In your dreams Shepard.” She holstered her weapon. “You ok here?”

“Yeah, thanks. Let’s catch up later.”

“You bet,” Ashley smiled. “It’s really good to see you Shepard,” she said genuinely.

Shepard rubbed the sore spot on her ribs where Ashley sucker punched her. “Yeah, yeah.”

They shared a smile and Ashley nodded to Miranda and left.

“We need to talk,” Miranda began.

Shepard turned her back to her, searching for a glass and something with alcohol. Luckily her pantry had been fully stocked and she poured herself a drink. “I don’t really give a shit what you have to say to me right now.”

“You’re angry,” Miranda stated.

Shepard tipped her glass towards Miranda, “Very intuitive. Or did you get that from peering into my private thoughts with your brain reading machine?”

Miranda took a step towards her, “I was trying to help…”

“I’m not your science project anymore Miranda. I’m a human being. I know you’ve mostly seen me as an experiment but I’m still a person.” She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince Miranda or herself of that.

Miranda stepped close and placed a hand on her arm. “I know, Shepard. I’m sorry.”

Shepard’s eyes met hers, an accusing fire burning in them, “You risked Liara’s life.”

Miranda withdrew her hand and crossed her arms again, her dark eyes flashing in anger. “Is that really what this is about? Liara? She left you to die on Earth.”

“What the hell are you talking about? She was injured.”

“If it had been anyone else they would have stayed to fight. They would have died fighting at your side. _I_ would have died fighting at your side. You called an evac because of your feelings for her. Her wellbeing distracted you from your mission.”

Shepard looked away and emptied her drink, relishing the burn down her throat. “Did you ever stop to think that I only made it as far as I did _because_ Liara was there? She fought by my side mission after mission. She did everything she could. There was no point in she or Ash dying needlessly. Besides, I still got the job done, didn’t I?” she said darkly.

“At what cost?” Miranda’s gaze and voice softened. She reached up and gently touched Shepard’s cheek. “I can’t help wanting to save you.”

Shepard met her eyes and realized something for the first time. Miranda was in love with her. Even in the dim light of the false sunset, desire was clearly visible on her face. Shepard reached up to take Miranda’s hand. She gently pulled it away from her face.

She watched the rejection register with Miranda and her indifferent mask slip quietly back into place.

“I can’t,” Shepard said quietly.

Miranda avoided her gaze and nodded. “I thought as much. But after… everything… well it was worth a try.” She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I should let you get settled.” She started for the door. Shepard didn’t move to stop her. Miranda paused at the open doorway and glanced back, “Shepard I do know what it feels like to be someone’s experiment. I wouldn’t…”

“I know,” Shepard said, her anger gone for now.

Then Miranda was gone. And Shepard was alone.


	10. Chapter 10

Despite being mentally and physically exhausted and the high level of alcohol in her system before she attempted sleep, the darkness still found Shepard and haunted her.

She woke after many restless hours to the sound of a Banshee scream. It took her a moment to settle back into reality, blinking hard to erase the nightmarish images from her mind. Once she did she found herself alone in an empty apartment. Her head ached and when she touched it she realized her body was covered in a cold sweat. She pulled herself up to sit cross legged and buried her face in her hands.

Her door beeped indicating someone outside and she realized that must have been what finally roused her from the nightmares. She looked towards the shaded windows and noticed it was morning.

She pushed herself up and made her way to the door. Tapping the vid com she saw Ashley Williams standing outside her door. As if sensing her eyes, Ashley held up two steaming cups of dark liquid. “I figured you might need this,” she said through the vid.

Shepard allowed herself a smile and opened the door.

Ashley, looking fresh and pressed in her BDUs, arched a skeptical dark eyebrow at Shepard once she was inside. “Rough night? Geez you need a shower.”

“Are you here with a peace offering or are you looking to get your ass kicked again,” Shepard grumbled dryly.

Ashley smiled and handed over the coffee. “I thought you should see what’s going on in the traverse this morning.” The Commander walked to Shepard’s personal com and after a moment, a news report was on the screen.

“…the sudden spike in reported sightings of Commander Shepard on the Citadel have the galaxy buzzing today.” Several blurred images of Ashley leading Shepard through the Presidium on their way to the Officer Tower appeared. “After deflecting comment for months about the ultimate fate of Commander Shepard, Alliance Chief Admiral Hackett released the following statement just moments ago.” The video cut to Hackett, looking impressive and in control as usual. “I can confirm that Commander Shepard did survive the Reaper invasion and subsequent attack on Earth. The details of her whereabouts these last few months are classified. However, the Alliance, humanity and I would expect many species across the galaxy will be happy to know that recently promoted Captain Shepard is alive and well.”

The video cut back to the reporter. “No word on if or when we can expect comment from the Savior of the Galaxy herself, but no doubt the Captain will have to address the public soon.”

“Is that Diana Allers?” Shepard said squinting at the reporter in the vid over her coffee.

Ashley nodded, “None other. Since her stint imbedded on the Normandy she’s become the Alliance’s go-to reporter.”

“Good for her. I never had much luck with reporters but she was one of the few I didn’t want to punch in the face. At least not all the time.” Shepard turned the vid off.

“No doubt she’ll be using her charms to coax you into an interview soon,” Ashley said.

Shepard rubbed the scar on her forehead as had become a recent habit when she was stressed.

Ashley studied her covertly through the steam over her drink. Her former commander looked pale and weary, her blue eyes normally clear and focused seemed instead clouded and uncertain. In a word Ashley thought she looked haunted.

Clearing her throat she asked, “So what’s your plan?”

“Plan?”

“Yeah, you always have a plan Shepard.”

Shepard sat down with a heavy sigh. “I dunno.” She winced, touching her abused left side.

“Well, you’ll pardon me for saying so Captain but you’re looking a little… puny. All those months in a hospital bed or... wherever the hell you were, didn’t do much for you.”

Shepard glanced down at herself, for the first time noticing how thin her own body was. Her muscle mass was greatly reduced and she’d certainly noticed a difference in her stamina.

“I mean look, you’re like a pale, floppy Hannar…” Ashley was saying.

“A pale, floppy Hannar that kicked your ass,” but her words had no sting to them. “I assume you have a point in here somewhere?”

Ashley smiled, “I’ve got some down time while the Normandy is docked. We should do some PT training together. Get you back in healthy, fighting form again. You’ll feel better.” She paused a moment, “And maybe the effort will help chase some of the demons up here,” she tapped her own forehead, “away for a while.” She glanced at her feet a moment, “It does for me.”

“You spoke to Liara,” it wasn’t a question.

Ashley shrugged, “She’s worried about you.” She rolled her eyes dramatically and sighed, “What else is new.”

“You’re right,” she nodded, suddenly feeling more invigorated with something to do. Something she could wrap her head around. Something to provide much needed focus. She put down her empty cup and stood, “Lets go.”

###

A few hours later when she returned to her apartment, Shepard showered and collapsed onto the bed, her body pleasantly exhausted from physical effort. Ash had pushed her and it had been just what she needed. She felt more clear headed than she had since… well, so long she couldn’t recall.

Her personal com was blinking indicating a message waiting for her. She contemplated ignoring it but the slight possibility it could be Liara motivated her to play it instead.

It was Hackett calling her in for an official debrief. He also mentioned the Counsel would want to hear from her directly as well. This was all to be expected, but caused anxiety to swell in her gut just the same.

“Just get it over with Shepard,” she mumbled to herself. She walked over to her closet and found uniforms hanging in place waiting for her, all with an added Captain’s bar.

Looking at herself in the mirror with her dress blues on, her uniform hung loose on her weakened frame. A few more weeks with Ash and she was certain that wouldn’t be an issue. She ran a hand through her shoulder length hair, letting it fall into place. Her eyes travelled to the scar above her left eye, still red and fresh with new skin. Her cheeks were gaunt and her lips were pale but her eyes were bright and a clear, piercing blue. With one last grimace at her own reflection she headed to Hackett’s office.

The officer posted outside snapped to attention when she arrived and saluted her crisply.

“Captain Shepard, it’s an honor. The Admiral is expecting you.” The young soldier opened the door for her.

She graced him with a salute and a smile, “As you were Lieutenant.”

She found Hackett at an oval table surrounded by galaxy maps speaking quietly with Miranda. They looked up when she entered.

“Captain, thanks for coming.” They mutually saluted. “How does it feel to be back in uniform?”

“To be honest, a little strange.”

Miranda avoided Shepard’s gaze, instead busying herself with prep of the debriefing material.

They sat around the table and Hackett began, “Alright Captain, we have detailed information leading up to your final push for the beam. Please start there and detail your movements and the events resulting to the best of your ability.”

Shepard took in a breath to focus herself. She could remember standing on the ridge with Anderson very clearly. She detailed the push to the beam. The Reaper fire increasing as they approached. The several ton vehicles flying through the air like toys. Doubling back and calling the evac for Liara and Ashley. Watching the Normandy fly away from the war zone as she pushed forward to the beam that would carry them to the Citadel. Harbinger. The blackout. The blood. The choking smell of death and decaying flesh. Anderson’s voice. The Illusive Man.

She stared at Miranda as she detailed trying to reason with the Illusive Man. He had been the mastermind behind Cerberus and Miranda’s boss, not to mention Shepard’s for a time. He had planned and funded the Lazarus Project that brought Shepard back from death the first time. At one time he had been a visionary, a leader, an advocate for humanity. But his motives became twisted over time, corrupt, diabolical. Shepard described when she realized his indoctrination by the Reapers was beyond reversal. Watching him end his own life, too far away and slowed by injury to stop him. She spoke of sitting with Anderson as he died.

She paused.

“Anderson was a fine soldier,” Hackett said respectfully, no doubt assuming her pause was instigated by reflection on the loss of her long time commanding officer.

“The best,” she answered. But her reason for the pause was not Anderson. It was the fact that she was about to fabricate history.

“Once the Citadel and the Crucible were connected, nothing happened immediately,” Hackett prompted. “I contacted you via com link. What did you do to activate the Crucible?”

“By that time I had lost a lot of blood. My memory is fuzzy. There was a control panel on the platform. I crawled to it… I’m not sure what the controls were. I just remember trying everything I could… then a bright flash and…” she looked up at Hackett, “darkness.”

But it hadn’t been darkness. It had been an AI in the form of the boy she’d witnessed die on Earth during the initial Reaper attack. And then came the impossible choice.

She swallowed and met Hackett’s gaze steadily. “For me there was nothing else until I woke up in the med bay with Oriana Lawson three weeks ago.” She shook her head, remembering the panic rushing through her body as she became aware of her surroundings. “I didn’t even know if we’d succeeded. If the Reapers were defeated… if anyone survived.”

Hackett pressed a control to end the debrief recording. “Thank you Captain. I know reliving that… it can’t be easy.”

“It’s not. For any of us.” She glanced at Miranda, who was staring at her hands.

“I will file this report and send it to the Counsel. They will no doubt want to speak with you directly. They are finally appointing a new human representative tomorrow so perhaps then.”

“Yes, sir,” Shepard said.

Hackett made his way back to his desk. Shepard stayed at the table a moment with Miranda. “I’m sorry about the Illusive Man. I know you believed in him,” she said quietly.

Miranda looked up, her eyes glistening with unexpressed emotion. “I did once. But he cost us a lot more human lives than was ever necessary by trying to control the Reapers. Now all I can do is try to make use of the resources he built to make things right.”

“Right according to who?”

Miranda looked at Shepard and smiled sadly, “You of course.”


	11. Chapter 11

Thoughts of speaking in front of the Counsel kept Shepard awake that night. When her vid com beeped she was happy for the distraction even given the late hour.

When it was Liara’s face that appeared, the relief she felt pricked the back of her eyes. She sank into her chair heavily. “Liara. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

Liara frowned, “What is wrong with your eyes?”

Shepard smiled and waved her hand in dismissal. “Nothing, just an old human saying. It means I miss you.”

Liara smiled softly, “I miss you too. Did I wake you?”

“No. I’m meeting with the Counsel tomorrow and I couldn’t sleep.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you sleep a good night’s rest since we met.”

“That’s probably true,” Shepard smiled wearily. “How are things on Thessia?”

Liara sighed, “Moving slower than I’d like but we are making some progress.”

Shepard was quiet a long moment. Finally Liara said softly, “What are you thinking?”

There was too much to say really and any amount of it would only serve to make Shepard sound needy or make Liara feel guilty, so instead she said simply, “Just that I miss you and that I hope I can… see you soon.”

###

As Shepard was escorted to the Counsel meeting along with Hackett and several armed Alliance soldiers led by Ashley the following day, it occurred to her that she had no idea who made up the Counsel anymore. The last she knew the Salarian Delatross had been ousted by her own people after her rejection of the genophage cure efforts and Ashley had killed Udina ending his attempted coup. The Turian and Asari counselors had been alive when the final assault on the Reapers began, but she had no idea if that was still the case.

As they approached the entrance to the Embassy Tower their progress slowed. An extensive crowd had gathered, presumably for a glimpse of the Savior of the Galaxy. A force of C-Sec officers guarded the entrance and made way for their party. At the door they were greeted by a stocky officer with a crew cut that Shepard recognized immediately.

“Sorry for the commotion Admiral,” the officer said in a gruff voice. “Once word got out that the Counsel was convening today I think most folks were able to guess the reason.”

“Commander Bailey,” Shepard said with a warm smile, “it’s good to see you alive and still in charge of this place. What’s left of it anyway.”

Bailey returned her smile with a tight one of his own and shook her hand. “I could say the same to you Captain. We should catch up later, but for right now lets get you inside. Crowds make me nervous.”

The C-Sec officers parted, holding back the throngs of onlookers so Shepard, Hackett and Ashley could enter. The Alliance soldiers remained outside to bolster the C-Sec forces.

Once the doors closed, the noise from outside was instantly gone and was replaced by the calming sounds of a nearby fountain and faux nature.

Ashley rolled her shoulders as if shrugging off the mob outside, “So this is what it’s like to be famous.”

Shepard shrugged, glancing back at the doors. “I guess.”

“Lucky you,” Ash responded sarcastically.

“Lets go. The Counsel is waiting,” Hackett urged.

They walked up the steps to the dais where the Counselor podiums stood. A Salarian clerk was the only other person in the room, working the control panel. He glanced up at them only briefly as his three fingered hands skipped across the panel with efficient movements.

“Greetings,” he said. “This will be a closed Counsel session. All of the Counselors will be attending remotely via vid com.”

“Even if they were here, they’d appear via vid com,” Ash mumbled to Shepard. “They’re afraid for anyone to know where they are these days.”

Shepard nodded as all three of them stood at attention with their hands clasped behind their backs.

When the first Counselor appeared, Shepard smiled and nodded at the familiar figure of Asari counselor Tevos. Tevos bowed and smiled in return. She was quickly followed by another familiar figure, the Turian counselor, who Shepard immediately recognized as Tarquin Victus, Primark of Palaven. He was followed by the fattest Salarian she’d ever seen. But it was the last figure to appear that was the most shocking. The human representative rezed in last and her image left Shepard stunned. Standing to the far left in the human counselor position was none other than Admiral Hannah Shepard, her mother.

Hannah Shepard was roughly the same height and build as her daughter, but the resemblances stopped there. Her hair had been blonde in her youth but was now mostly a distinguished gray, her eyes hazel and sharp. She was dressed in her Alliance dress uniform and standing with her arms behind her back. When she looked at her daughter, her angular face softened into a smile, lines around her eyes appearing.

“Mom?” Shepard said, too startled to remember where she was.

Ashley’s jaw dropped open, looking from one Shepard to the other before shaking her head and returning to attention.

“Jess,” Admiral Shepard said, “it’s so good to see you. I’m sorry to spring this on you but everything has happened rather quickly.”

Shepard nodded, barely recognizing the use of her first name. The only other person who used it was Liara and even then only rarely and in private.

“Captain Shepard,” Tevos spoke. She bowed her head towards Shepard again in welcome. “We are all very pleased to see you alive and well.”

Shepard mentally shook herself from the shock of seeing her mother and squared her shoulders. “Counselor Tevos, it’s good to see you as well. And Primark Victus, I’m very pleased to see you survived the invasion. I’m certain the people of Palavin are better for it.”

“The feeling is mutual Captain Shepard,” the Primark said.

“This,” Tevos motioned to the large Salarian next to her, “is Delatross Pravia, the Salarian Counselor.”

Shepard nodded in greeting.

“It is a great pleasure to finally meet in person the human Spectre I’ve heard so much about,” the Salarian spoke in a raspy voice. “It’s not often one meets a legend.”

“You honor me, Delatross Pravia, but I am just a soldier. I have done what anyone would have done.”

“On the contrary Captain, we have read your debrief,” Tevos spoke again. “You have done what no one else was able to do in countless centuries. You have destroyed the Reapers.”

“With respect Counselors, it took all of us to defeat the Reapers. The millions across the Galaxy that died had as much a hand in our success as I did.”

“Regardless your ability to bring peace and collaboration to species locked in centuries of conflict was something I had the privilege of witnessing first hand,” Victus said. “What you achieved was remarkable Captain.”

“And it is something the Galaxy is in need of again I’m afraid,” this time, her mother’s voice, sounding strong and official. “I’m sure Admiral Hackett has filled you in on some of the events that have transpired since the Reaper defeat. Conflicts have arisen out of desperation, lack of leadership, and post-war chaos.”

Shepard nodded, “Yes, I’ve heard.”

“The galactic peace is very delicate we are finding. Memories become short once the shared enemy is defeated,” Victus said.

“And the lost and misguided are vulnerable to the influence of those who do not share our vision of Galactic peace,” the Salarian wheezed.

“I understand that you have already encountered one of the galactic terrorist organizations first hand. It was you who disrupted the Redeemer attack here on Thessia just a few weeks ago when they made an attempt on Dr. T’soni, was it not?” Tevos said.

“I learned of the Redeemer threat to Dr. T’soni soon after recovering, yes,” Shepard admitted.

Tevos smiled, “I wish you would have made your presence known Captain. I would have rolled out the heroes welcome for you personally. Next time perhaps.”

“Your return to health is fortuitous for all of us Captain,” the Salarian continued. “In a few short months the one year anniversary of our victory over the Reapers will be at hand. We want to mark this occasion with a great celebration of our unity.”

“And the introduction of a fleet who’s sole purpose is to foster and maintain this peace,” Victus pronounced.

“It will be a small but powerful fleet of elite representatives from all species who are willing to participate. A combination of military and scientific support under the guidance of the Counsel and significant contribution from the Alliance and other military fleets.”

“The only thing we are missing,” Victus began, “is a leader. Someone with experience bringing species together. Someone that commands the respect of people across species. But also someone with the fortitude to make the tough decisions when needed. Someone like you, Shepard.”

The Counselors looked at her expectantly. Shepard was looking at the floor, her brow furrowed. She rubbed at the scar above her eye. Decisions. What would they think of her ability to make tough decisions if they knew the choice she was forced to make to end the war. Finally, she looked up.

“Counselors,” she began quietly, “you honor me with your support and your…offer.” She paused, her jaw working as she tried to contain the sudden burn of anger rising in her. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being manipulated once again. It made her want to vomit and break into a blood rage all at once. “However…” she said instead, “I hope you will understand if I don’t not accept immediately.”

Victus and Tevos glanced at each other with concern.

“While you have all had months to come to grips with what has occurred since the Reaper defeat, I’ve barely had weeks. And, with all due respect, before that, I spent years trying to convince the Counsel to prepare only to be ignored. I request some time to consider what you have purposed.”

The Counselors glanced at each other and finally Tevos gave a slight nod. “Having been on the Counsel the longest of my colleges, I shoulder some of the blame for our past delay. It is doubtless that hesitation cost lives. Take the time you need Captain, though we will need to know your decision soon. Please understand it is lives across the galaxy that we are now trying to save, presently and in the future.”

Shepard nodded, “Thank you Counselors.”

Tevos nodded graciously, “No, thank you Captain.”

With that the counsel session was at a close. The Counselors rezed off one by one, until Hannah Shepard was the only one left.

“Jess,” she said, “I hope you can find the time to come see me on Earth. It would be good to visit after so long and… so much.”

Jess Shepard and her mother had often butted heads in her youth, both too similarly stubborn to get along. Hannah Shepard was a by the book soldier and didn’t offer the gift of warmth as much as the gift of discipline to her daughter.

So it was a rare thing to hear uncertainty in her mother’s voice. Shepard smiled, “I’d like that.”

Hannah Shepard nodded to Hackett and Williams and then disappeared.

Ashley shook her head. “I can’t believe you actually said ‘with all due respect’.”

Shepard cast her a sideways smile as they walked out, “Yeah, I threw that one in there just for you.”


	12. Chapter 12

HRRAAAAAAAW!

The scream of the Reaper firing was closer than ever. The heat from the red beam singed the hairs off of her arms and chunks of flying debris sliced into her exposed skin. Half of her armor was missing on her left and she could tell by the warmth spreading down her side that she was bleeding.

She pressed forward, clutching her pistol, not able to see but moving closer to where she knew the Reaper stood. The sound again, impossibly close, and the glow of the red eye swelled…

She woke, gasping for air, breathing in only acrid smoke and dirt. Her eyes burned. She groped around for her pistol and finally her fingers closed around the cold comfort of the grip. She forced herself up. _Move soldier!_ She could see the light of the beam, the Conduit. She was close. She could feel the cold metal of her dog tags pressing against her clammy skin. She used the familiar feeling to ground herself. _Move!_

She was gasping for air again, this time no smoke, only death. The sick stench so overwhelming it made her wretch. Her ears were ringing. She pushed herself to her knees, her left side searing with pain. Then a voice. Anderson’s voice.

Suddenly she was sitting next to him. Earth was on fire far below, dying. Like her. Like Anderson. She looked over at him. Her Commanding Officer, her confidant, her friend. He’d been like a father to her. And now, like her father, he was dead too. She had killed him. _No! It was the Illusive Man! The Reapers!_ But she had held the gun that killed him. She had felt the trigger move under her finger. She wanted to weep.

But even then it wasn’t over. She stood on top of the Citadel surrounded by the fleets of galactic ships exploding, starting their slow, hopeless spirals into the atmosphere. The Reapers attacked in space and below on Earth. The ghostly face of the Catalyst AI watched her. _You must choose._

Destroy.

She stumbled towards the power conduit to the right. It’s destruction would mean the destruction of the Reapers. An end to all of this. And with it, extinction of the Geth, a self aware race only just now coming into their own. An end to EDI, her own ships AI, no, her friend.

And an end to her own life, once and for all.

She used whatever reserves of strength she had to raise her pistol and stepped closer. She swallowed, thoughts of Liara surging forward in her mind. This was it. This was everything. The end for her, a chance for a new beginning for those that would survive. Her aim must be true. She looked through the sight, her hand somehow steady.

And then she froze. Terror raced through her veins like ice water.

In front of the cylinder she had to destroy stood Kaiden, Anderson, Mordin, and Thane. Her comrades. Her friends. The ones she’d lost.

The pistol dropped to her side. She fell to her knees.

“Get up Shepard,” Kaiden said.

“I can’t,” she sobbed, unable to breath. “I can’t kill you. Not again.”

“This is how it must be,” Thane said.

Their voices, so real. So impossibly alive.

“There has to be another way,” she pleaded.

“It has to be you, someone else might get it wrong,” Mordin said with a knowing tilt of his head.

“Get up child. Do what has to be done,” Anderson said.

She stared at them, tortured. Feeling their loss all over again.

“Get up!” Anderson roared.

His voice vibrated through her limbs and spurred her into action. She stood and raised her pistol again, her arm shaking from the effort. Tears streamed down her face leaving streaks in the dirt and blood. “I can’t!” she cried at them.

“You must!” Anderson demanded.

Kaiden shook his head, “Don’t let it be for nothing Shepard.”

Shepard’s arm trembled violently. She gritted her teeth.

“Now Shepard!” Thane demanded.

She fired. Over and over she pulled the trigger. The projectiles ripped into her friends. She kept firing, using two hands to keep it steady until the clip was empty. Then she collapsed, sobbing. She felt the wave of the explosion wash over her. Her entire body swept with pain. When she managed to open her eyes again, she found herself laying in the grass.

She forced herself up to her hands and knees, still shaking. She looked through blurry vision above the grass. A tree. Bent from the wind. Salvation. Safety. Peace. Tears spilled from her unchecked. She forced herself to crawl forward. Pushed herself up to stumble onward. She clutched her side, feeling the warm, sticky blood pumping into her hand with each beat of her heart. Each step was harder, weaker. Instead of getting closer she seemed to be getting farther.

She hit the ground, hard. She struggled but there was no getting up this time. She rolled to her back, the darkness creeping into the edges of the bright sky in her vision. She could hear her heartbeat slowing in her own ears. She tried to moisten her scorched lips, staring into the sun, feeling the warmth of it on her face. She wouldn’t make it to the safety of the tree this time. “Liara,” she whispered, “I’m sorry,” and then the darkness swallowed her.

###

Half way across the galaxy, Liara bolted upright, startled awake in her bed.

She blinked, taking her bearings, realizing she was in her room on Thessia. She slowed her ragged breathing, her eyes settling on the window and the dark night sky beyond doted with stars.

A realization settled into focus in her mind. A decision made. She knew what she needed to do and there was no time to waste.


	13. Chapter 13

After two weeks of dodging the press and mobs of curious onlookers outside of the Officer Tower, Shepard knew she was going to have to face the music. Hackett had suggested sitting down with Allers when she was ready. The days of PT with Ashley had helped immensely both physically and mentally. She felt more alert, more alive, more herself and she knew she had not only Ashley to thank but also Liara.

Though her waking hours were generally improved, her nightmares only grew worse. The violence and death was one thing. The guilt over her choices was quite another. In the silent hours of the dark night, there was nowhere left to hide, nothing left to occupy her thoughts, and the darkness would find her again.

The door to her apartment door beeped. She stood and gave herself a once over in the mirror. She was wearing her Alliance BDUs which fit her more normally now thanks to her workouts with Ashley. She ran a quick hand through her hair and straightened her shoulders. “Here goes nothin’,” she mumbled to herself as she opened the door.

Diana Allers looked much the same as she had ten months earlier imbedded with the Normandy, though her dress was shorter and tighter, if that was even possible. She smiled warmly as she recognized Shepard.

“Captain, it’s good to see you again. You’re looking quite well for someone dead twice over.”

“Allers,” Shepard greeted her with a smile, stepping to the side to allow her in, followed by her robotic camera. Shepard motioned for her sit in the small seating area near the window and she took the seat across from her.

“Shall we get started?” Diana asked.

“Why not.”

The robotic camera light turned on. Diana sat forward. Shepard squared her shoulders and tried not to grimace too much.

“Captain Shepard, the burning question across the galaxy has to be where you’ve been the last ten months since the Reaper defeat?”

“While I can’t get into the specifics, I can tell you that I was injured during the attack on the Reapers. But I’m fully recovered now.”

“Many have speculated that your survival was hidden by the Alliance while you conducted a covert mission. Is there any truth to that?”

“No.”

“How do you respond to the fact that most species now refer to you as the Savior of the Galaxy?”

Shepard shifted in her seat, “I think it’s dangerous to put the defeat of the Reapers in the context of one person’s actions. There were millions upon millions of people from every species, civilian and military that gave their lives fighting the Reapers. My crew and I played a role, but so did everyone who took up arms or gave their lives. If you’re going to call me a hero, then all I ask is that you call them heroes as well.”

“A very noble response Captain.” Diana smiled, “And now for the real question on everyone’s mind. Is Captain Shepard romantically involved or is she single and looking?”

Shepard gave Diana her most charming smile, “That’s classified.”

###

 

In a matter of hours after Diana Allers left her apartment, the phrase “That’s classified” had become the new sound bite across the Citadel.

Commander Ashley Williams rolled her eyes as she overheard Shepard’s quote for the 20th time over the Galactic News kiosks as she made her way to Docking Bay 36. She nodded a greeting to the C-Sec guard at the dock.

“The ship is just pulling in now, ma’am,” the Turian officer told her.

Ash leaned casually against the bulkhead with her arms crossed. A few minutes later the door opened with a _shush_ and out stepped a figure cloaked in dark gray, face shadowed by the hood pulled low, preventing recognition from outsiders. Ash nodded a greeting and fell into step with the newcomer without a word.

Once out of earshot of the C-Sec officer Ash spoke, “This look suites you. Very shadowy. Totally inconspicuous,” she added, not disguising her sarcasm.

“It’s good to see you too Ashley,” the female voice said.

###

Shepard was pouring over a stack of reports spread across her table by the window. A lot had happened since the Reaper defeat and she was trying to get back up to speed. It was slow going. Normally able to absorb and analyze information quickly she found her mind was frustratingly clouded. Added to that were numerous messages from old friends and crew that continued to pop into her personal inbox. The messages should have been comforting, should have been welcome, but instead they made her break into a cold sweat. When the door beeped she was staring at the unopened messages as though they might bite her at any moment.

Thankful for the reprieve she tapped the vid link by the door and smiled when she saw Ash peering back at her.

As the door opened she began, “Back for more of the beating I gave you this morning Williams?” But her smile faded quickly seeing the cloaked figure next to her.

Ash took a small step back. “I’ll check in later,” she said. She fought a grin. “Much later I’m guessing,” she mumbled before disappearing down the hall.

The cloaked figure stepped inside, the door closing behind her. Shepard stood frozen.

“I see I succeeded in surprising you,” the woman said, a smile evident in her voice, even with her face hidden.

Finally Shepard moved, stepping towards the woman and gently pushing back the hood. She broke into an irrepressible smile as she stared into Liara’s face.

Shepard touched her cheek gently, drinking in the sight of her. “You didn’t tell me you were coming,” she mumbled inanely.

Liara stepped in close to her, running her hands along her sides. “That is one of the key components of a surprise.”

“I love you,” Shepard said, at a loss for anything else.

“I know,” Liara said and kissed her.

The rest of the day was lost. The only thing in the galaxy they were aware of was each other.

###

Many hours later the two lovers were still in bed, tangled in each other. Shepard’s gaze was unfocused, watching the blurry lights of shuttles and taxis passing in the dark early morning through the Citadel. One arm was propped behind her head, the other rested on the soft blue skin of Liara’s back, rising and falling slowly with the Asari’s breathing.

Liara was making lazy circles with her fingers on Shepard's bare stomach, her head resting on Shepard’s chest. She wrapped her arm tightly around Shepard’s middle and snuggled in closer. “I love listening to the sound of your heartbeat. There was a time when I never thought I would hear it again.”

“More than once, I would guess,” Shepard said quietly.

Liara rolled onto her back, her gaze turning to watch Shepard’s profile against the dark window. “It’s nice to lay here and not worry about the imminent destruction of everyone in the galaxy.” She took one of Shepard’s hands in hers, entwining their fingers. “I don’t think we’ve ever had a time like that together.”

Shepard sighed, her eyes moving from the window to meet Liara’s. “No. In fact other than the few days shore leave after defeating Sovereign, before we shipped off to hunt the Geth, we haven’t had any down time together really. We’ve always been on the brink of galactic catastrophe.”

Shepard’s gaze slipped back out into the dark night. “I’ve thought about those few weeks after Sovereign a lot since Cerberus brought me back. Even under the threat of the Reaper arrival, those few weeks pointlessly searching for the Geth were… nice.” She met Liara’s eyes again, a wistful smile turning her lips. “Spending time with you off hours. You making excuses to come see me in my cabin.”

“I wasn’t making excuses Shepard, I had legitimate…” she trailed off seeing Shepard’s smile grow crooked, teasing her. Liara propped herself up on her elbow. “I seem to recall a certain Spectre claiming we got ‘lost’ for a few hours on Feros around that time.”

Shepard grinned, “Yeah, that was a good mission. I learned a lot about Asari physiology on that one.”

Liara shook her head in mock disapproval then she leaned in and kissed Shepard. It was meant to be brief and playful but it quickly deepened and after a moment Shepard pulled Liara on top of her and they were breathing heavily.

“I wish we could stay like this,” Shepard whispered, for a moment letting the weariness show.

Liara studied the sudden tension in Shepard’s face. She caressed her gently, trying to massage it away. “Let’s go somewhere,” she suggested softly. Blue eyes met hers, searching. “To Earth maybe, just away from the Citadel and the Alliance and the Counsel. Just us.”

“Ok,” Shepard answered simply.

“Ok?” Liara seemed a little surprised. She had expected some kind of resistance.

“Yeah. I’d like that. I promised my mom I’d visit. She’s based in London I think. It might be good to see… to see if it’s different.” _Different than the place I see in my nightmares every time I close my eyes_ , she thought to herself.

Liara arched an eyebrow, “You are just glossing over the fact you are taking me to meet your mother.”

Shepard grinned, “You noticed that huh?” Shepard rolled them quickly until she was on top of the Asari. “Nervous?”

“With you by my side? Never.” Liara’s answer held much more meaning than Shepard expected. Liara continued, “Besides, it couldn’t be much worse than meeting my mother.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow, “At least Benezia had the excuse of being indoctrinated. My mother is just… my mother.” She grimaced.

“You don’t get along?” Liara asked, curious to hear more about a subject Shepard spoke little about.

Shepard shrugged, “After my father died, I just remember her being… distant. All business. Alliance officer first, mom second. She’s big into protocol and rules and saluting… and that’s just at home.”

“You are not close?”

“No. At best we are acquaintances who happen to be genetically linked. Once I joined the Alliance academy she said we needed to maintain distance so as not to appear to show favor. But trust me, no one would have gotten any impression of favor looking at our home life.”

“It sounds very cold.”

Shepard thought about it. She looked down into Liara’s open face, feeling the length of Liara’s body under her own, gazing into her eyes and feeling the warmth of love coming from her, filling her head to toe. It was like nothing she’d ever experienced. “Yes,” she said finally, “cold is a good description of it. Still it’s been a long time and a lot has happened. She’s on the Counsel now for Christ’s sake. It seems worth... investigating.”

Liara’s eyes twinkled in amusement at her choice of words. “Then investigate we shall. Perhaps we can leave the day after tomorrow. I have a few more surprises planned for you between now and then.”

Shepard raised a skeptical eyebrow, a smile tempting her lips. “Well now aren’t you a sneaky Shadow Broker. Are these surprises something that I will like?”

Liara matched her expression with a similar one of her own. “Perhaps.” Then suddenly her biotics flared and Shepard found herself flipped on her back, the most amazing blue eyes staring down at her. “But I still have a few more things to _investigate_ with you privately before you find out.”

Their lips met again and time slipped away.


	14. Chapter 14

“What are you going to tell Hackett?” Ashley asked the next afternoon while dodging a jab Shepard threw at her.

They were both sweating heavily, well into their daily routine of sparring. Despite not having slept much, Shepard’s attacks were fierce and focused.

“I’m going to tell him,” she was jabbing and advancing on Ash, “that I’m taking a week of shore leave. If he has a problem with it, he can court marshal me.”

Ash spun to escape Shepard’s advance and got in a good swipe at her leg. “I’m not talking about your little honeymoon, I’m talking about being the leader of this new elite Galactic fleet. Are you going to accept?” They had a quick volley of punches and blocks back and forth and began circling each other again. “And don’t say _its classified_. If I hear that one more time I’m going to puke.”

Shepard smiled, “I might say it again just to see that, Williams.” She threw a couple more punches but they lacked the sting of a few minutes earlier. She was distracted now, thinking about the question.

“Well?” Ashley prompted.

“I don’t know,” Shepard frowned. Her focus clearly elsewhere, Ashley made a series of aggressive jabs, clipping Shepard’s chin on the last one.

“What’s Liara’s take on it?” she asked.

Shepard quickly switched her stance and caught Ash with a solid kick to her thigh. “We haven’t really talked about it.”

Ashley smirked, “Not a lot of talking happening, eh Shepard?”

That earned her a sharp uppercut to the jaw. Shepard grinned, “Smartass.”

Ashley raised her hands in surrender and they both relaxed their stances, breathing heavy and dripping sweat. Ash cast Shepard a rueful grin. “You’re definitely improving. Almost back to your old self. How do you feel?”

Shepard wiped her face with the bottom of her soaked tank top. “Better. Stronger.”

“And the nightmares?” Ash pushed.

Shepard shook her head. Ash nodded. After a moment she changed the subject. “Couple of us are going out for a drink tonight. You should come join us.” When Shepard didn’t answer, avoiding her gaze by busying herself collecting her things, Ashley pushed again, “They’re all asking about you. They care about you. They just want…”

“I’m not there yet Ash,” she said, cutting her off more forcefully than she’d intended. She closed her eyes briefly and shook her head. Unable to explain. Unable to apologize again. “Besides Liara said she had something planned.” She finally glanced up, tentatively meeting her friend’s gaze.

Ashley was frowning, studying the look of uncertainty that had plagued her commanding officer since she miraculously returned from the Reaper war. It was an expression that still caught her off guard since she’d never known Shepard to appear anything but focused and confident, outwardly at least. Ash had always looked to Shepard to find her way because her commander always had a plan, a purpose behind everything she did. Now she seemed lost and almost… frightened.

She shrugged, forcing herself to smile, trying to relay her own confidence in the absence of Shepard’s. “Maybe next time.”

Shepard nodded and managed a grim smile.

###

When Shepard returned to her apartment she immediately noticed Liara was back from whatever business had taken her time earlier in the day. She smiled to herself at the sight of Liara’s boots by the door, her clothes strewn on the bed, a pile of datapads on the desk, and the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. The weeks of solitude and emptiness lifted briefly with the evidence of her bondmate surrounding her. The visible, haphazard co-mingling of their lives gave her comfort.

Liara stepped into the room freshly showered with a towel wrapped around her and stopped short. Shepard was standing in the middle of the room, drenched in sweat, face flushed from her workout. She was staring at the bed, a strange, soft smile on her lips and tears streaming silently down her cheeks.

“Jess?” Liara called gently.

Shepard looked up, her smile broadening at the sight of so much blue skin. “You are so beautiful,” she said.

Liara cast her a seductive grin, dropping the towel and walking until she was standing directly in front of her. Shepard watched her every move. Liara raised a finger and brushed the lingering tears and few strands of dark red hair from her lover’s face, smiling into the complex blue depths of her eyes.

“What were you thinking about just then?” she asked softly.

“That I like having you here. Us. Together. Our things mixing.” Shepard wasn’t sure what she was saying. It was hard to focus on words with so much tantalizing skin just centimeters away. She stared into the deep blue depths of Liara’s eyes and felt safe. Her existence simplified. The feeling was such a contrast to the way she felt every other moment of the day she couldn’t help the audible sigh that escaped her. “I don’t want to be apart from you again,” she said quietly.

There was pleading in her voice that made Liara’s heart ache. She took Shepard’s face in both her hands and kissed her gently, chastely. She brought her eyes back to Shepard’s and made sure they focused on her before she continued. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m here.” A thankful smile graced Shepard’s lips before her eyes clouded again and her gaze shifted to the window.

“Ashley asked me about the Galactic Fleet again,” she said quietly.

Liara studied her, noting the sudden avoidance of her gaze. Seeing the uncertainty flicker over Shepard’s features caused a twinge in her heart. She brought Shepard’s eyes back to her own with a gentle touch on her cheek. “You still don’t know what you want to do?”

She watched as a myriad of emotions flickered like ghosts through the clouded blue eyes in front of her. Shepard opened her mouth to begin an explanation, stopped, closed it again, then shook her head. It was the choice, it occurred to Liara. The choice she had made to destroy the Reapers had cost her too much of herself and she wasn’t sure she could do it again. And the leader of the galactic fleet couldn’t afford the luxury of not knowing the answer to that question.

“I feel paralyzed,” Shepard finally whispered, sensing Liara understood more than she could say. “Stuck.”

The Asari smiled compassionately, stroking her cheek. “You have time.” She kissed her gently and followed it by giving her a genuine smile with a hint of seduction. Then she purposeful took step back and surveyed Shepard from head to toe. “Now, you need a shower. We’re going to be late.”

###

Shepard fastened the belt around her waist and ran a smoothing hand over the dark blue material covering her stomach. She reached up and pulled at the collar around her neck, glancing at her reflection in the mirror as her fingers lingered over the Captain’s bars. She looked sharp in her Alliance uniform. Her hair fell to her collar and was shining after being freshly washed. Her body had filled out with her revitalized muscle mass. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, the skin revealed was an even color, no longer patchy from the new skin. Her eyes were vibrant blue and sharp.

Anyone looking at her would say she looked the same as she had a year ago.

But she knew different. She felt the shadow of death hanging on her, haunting her, holding her in place. She didn’t know if it would ever leave her. She felt a tickle of fear race down her spine. Perhaps that’s why she’d avoided contact with most of her old crew, her friends. She couldn’t face them. She couldn’t risk them seeing what she’d become. She couldn’t look them in the eye and accept their words of gratitude. Not with what she’d done. She couldn’t lie to them. Anyone but them. The pressure in her chest swelled painfully. She forced a deep breath, in and out.

“Ready to go?” Liara’s warm voice said from behind her.

Shepard found her eyes in the mirror and grinned. She stepped back, grabbing Liara’s hands in hers and holding her arms out, openly appraising her Asari counterpart. Liara was draped in a silver and blue dress that accented every sensual curve and made her eyes and skin shimmer. Shepard felt her mouth grow dry.

“You are breathtaking,” she whispered, giving Liara a sincere smile, her eyes sparking. “Are you sure we have to leave this room? I don’t really want to share you.”

Liara stepped close, letting their bodies press together, bringing her hand up to Shepard’s face. Shepard’s hands went to Liara’s waist and slid slowly up the curves of her body. Their proximity was hypnotic and as much as Shepard wanted to stay in, she knew at that moment she would grant Liara anything.

Liara’s lips moved closer to Shepard’s stopping just before touching, their breath mingled. “Trust me,” she whispered. Shepard had once been discerning yet generous in her trust of others. Now she no longer trusted even her own instincts. She felt used, deceived, manipulated. By the Reapers, the ancient AI, by the Alliance, by the Counsel, even by Miranda, one of her friends.

She felt Liara’s breath on her face, felt the heat of her body moving against her, making her blood sing. Liara’s hand slipped behind her head, her fingers twisting into her hair. “Trust me Jess,” she whispered again, “please.”

Shepard would deny her nothing. Truthfully she trusted Liara more than herself. Liara was her anchor, her lifeline, her tether to sanity. “I trust you,” she said, making sure her voice was clear and even.

Liara used her hand tangled in Shepard’s hair to pull her in, crushing their lips together in a passionate kiss born of need. A need to claim each other, a need to assure each other that the moment was real. If Shepard were capable of initiating a bond, she would have. She wanted to climb inside of Liara and feel surrounded by the comfort that closeness brought. But Liara had other plans for them… for now.

The Asari pulled away, smiling seductively, her eyes displaying the hunger echoed in Shepard’s heated gaze. She forced herself to step back, sliding her fingers down Shepard’s arm and taking her hand. “Come Captain. We’re late.”

###

Liara led Shepard quickly through the busy Citadel. Several heads turned in their direction as they weaved their way to the Wards. They were each recognizable in their own right, but the two of them together, dressed as sharply as they were and holding hands, was sure to send the Galactic tabloids on full alert. Shepard didn’t care. In fact, she felt quite proud to display her claim to the vision of beauty tugging her gently through the evening crowds.

Once they slipped into the elevator alone, Liara studied the smirk on Shepard’s lips. She smiled to herself, “You seem quite proud of yourself Captain.”

Shepard’s smile spread into a full grin, “With you on my arm how could I not be?”

Just then the elevator drifted to a stop and the doors opened. Shepard’s smile evaporated instantly.

In front of her was the seductively lit interior of a club called Redux. It was rather upscale for the Wards and Shepard had heard of it but had never actually been inside. As the doors opened the smooth thump of the music almost immediately stopped and the patrons milling around promptly turned to the door and slid to attention becoming an almost immediate military reception line. Though the interior of the club was much dimmer than the well lit elevator, Shepard recognized the occupants immediately. And she froze.

After a moment, she felt Liara slide her hand around her arm and step next to her. “Surprise,” she whispered.

Shepard looked stunned. She glanced at Liara, then back into the club again. With a gentle tug from Liara they stepped out of the elevator and into the room.

Commander Ashley Williams, dressed smartly in her royal blue dress uniform, stepped forward and faced Shepard. Her body was rigid at attention and she snapped her hand up in a salute. “Atten-tion!” She said loudly. A shift could be heard as the others straightened in respect. “The commanding officer is on deck.”

Ashley held her salute as her eyes cut to Shepard’s. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

Shepard seemed to shake herself, lapsing into the military formality that came naturally. She straightened and snapped a salute at Ashley. “At ease, Commander.”

As Ashley completed her salute and stepped back, Shepard’s eyes fell to those standing behind her. She could hardly believe it. In front of her stood her crew, her friends. Garrus, Tali, Joker, Adams, Jack, Jacob, Cortez, Kasumi, Vega, Wrex and another two dozen recognizable faces. The silence stretched on as Shepard took them all in.

Finally Garrus stepped forward, breaking the stretching silence. “Well now I can see why you kept us all waiting so damn long.” He looked pointedly at Liara then back at Shepard. “It’s the hair isn’t it. It just takes so much extra time to perfect. I think you should consider loosing it.”

There was a pregnant pause and the room seemed to hold a collective breath.

“Well if I did, I’d still look a damn sight better than you Vakarian,” Shepard said, breaking into a smile.

Garrus let out a loud laugh and pulled Shepard into a hug. The tension in the room broken, smiles and laughter spread all around. The music was suddenly back and old friends collapsed in around Shepard and Garrus.

“Seriously though, it’s good to see you Shepard,” Garrus said to her.

She smiled at her old friend, “Yeah well when I didn’t see you at the bar I figured I better get back to keep you out of trouble. No Shepard without Vakarian, remember?” They shared an understanding smile born of years of combat together.

“Do you plan to keep her all to yourself Vakarian?” an unmistakable voice said from behind them. Garrus stepped back to reveal Tali, hands on hips, practically tapping her foot. The Turian looked properly chastised. Tali suddenly launched herself into Shepard’s arms, squeezing her tight.

Shepard couldn’t help but chuckle. “Hi Tali. It’s good to see you.”

Tali stepped back and then punched Shepard in the arm, hard. She pointed a finger in her face, “Don’t you ever do that again. I can’t take anymore of you dying.” Her hand dropped and she shook her head, “Once was enough but twice… it’s too much.”

The genuine pain in her voice was tangible. Pain that Shepard had caused. That pain was one of the many reasons she had avoided this moment since her return and she felt the helplessness of it twist in her gut. “I know Tali,” she said quietly.

Garrus put his arm around Tali and his other hand on Shepard’s shoulder. “Enough talk, now we drink!”

Liara watched from a distance as each former crew member and friend eventually made their way up to Shepard as the evening progressed. She watched the subtle play of emotions run through Shepard’s body and across her face. She knew this was going to be hard for her bondmate but she also felt it was necessary. Liara knew that the pain and fear Shepard experienced as she relived the worst of the Reaper war in her dreams at night was holding her hostage. To break out she would have to move forward. So Liara had decided to provide a little push.

“She seems to be holding up ok,” a voice said at her shoulder.

Ashley leaned casually against the wall next to her. “Yes,” Liara answered simply.

“She’s afraid,” Ashley stated after a moment. “I’ve never seen her afraid before.”

Liara tore her gaze away from Shepard and let it fall on the profile of the brunette next to her. “She’ll get past it.”

Ashley met Liara’s eyes and held them for a moment, “You seem so sure. You always seem so sure when it comes to her.”

“She is the one thing I am sure about,” she said with a conviction she felt to her core.

Ashley smiled softly at her and gently squeezed her shoulder before pushing off the wall and back into the crowd on the dance floor. Liara let her gaze wander back to Shepard. She watched her body tense. She saw the fear flicker in her eyes as Joker approached her. She would get past it, wouldn’t she?

Shepard stiffened slightly and then forced herself to relax as the familiar bearded face of the Normandy pilot sidled up to her at the bar.

“Hell of a party Captain. Top shelf liquor too. Hell you should come back from the dead more often.” Joker said, pushing a drink towards her.

Shepard forced a semblance of a smile. Out of everyone, Joker was the one person she may have dreaded seeing the most. She’d seen the pilot come alive as he fell in love with EDI. And her choice had ripped that from him. “Joker…” she started but he interrupted quickly.

“You know EDI loved parties. It seems odd right? But she thought the carefree spectacle people made of themselves was fascinating. Even in the worst of times. That’s why even as things heated up, when we’d come back to the Citadel, she’d insist on hanging out in Purgatory. She craved that freedom. She craved life.” He paused, looking up at the pained expression on Shepard’s face. “That’s why I know that she’d want us to keep going. We can’t be prisoners of our past. She’d want us to crave life like she did.” It was as if Joker knew of her choice and was setting her free. Did she dare to be free of the guilt? Did she dare move on from the past and live?

She swallowed, “I miss her.”

Joker smiled almost wistfully, “Yeah, me too. I find myself just talking to the cockpit now like she’s still there, waiting for this unexpectedly witty comeback to some stupid joke. And even though it doesn’t come, I still feel like she’s there. She’s with me.”

Shepard’s eyes wandered over the dim figures moving around the club until she settled on a still silhouette leaning against the far wall, watching. She knew it was Liara. She could feel it.

Joker continued. “You know, Liara was sure you were alive,” as if reading her thoughts again. “She went kinda nuts on the Alliance and the Counsel. I thought she was going to kill Miranda with her bare hands. I mean, I wanted to believe her but then when you looked at the Citadel… it seemed impossible. But I guess that’s never stopped you before.” He lifted his glass at her, “Anyways, I’m glad your here Captain. Someone’s gotta keep all the assholes in line.”

Shepard met his gaze again and smiled, “Thanks Joker. I think.”

As Joker moved away Shepard let her eyes settle on the familiar figure against the wall. She felt a surge of emotion swell almost to the point of choking her. She took a sip of her drink to force it back down. Her conversation with Joker was nothing like she had feared it would be. But then he didn’t know the whole truth. The truth was that EDI hadn’t just been a casualty of the war, Shepard had made a conscious choice that she knew would kill EDI. _No, the Catalyst and the Reapers forced you to make that choice_ , a quiet voice countered in her mind. Shepard’s finger twitched. She had pulled the trigger. _You had nothing but difficult choices. You had to choose something._ But what if another choice would have saved more? _You did what was best, for as many as you could_. That was Liara’s voice echoing in her head. Liara. Who had never given up on her. Who believed in her. Who loved her. Shepard felt the surge of emotion rise up again. _You don’t deserve her. You’ll just hurt her again. Like you’ve done so many times before._ “No,” she felt the conviction so thoroughly she spoke the word out loud.

She looked to find Liara again but the spot she had occupied against the wall was empty.

“No little blue Shepards running around yet? Maybe you need some baby making lessons,” a booming voice sounded at her elbow. She glanced over to see Wrex grinning at her. “I could give you a few pointers.”

“Just how many new Krogan are you responsible for at this point?” she asked.

“Seventy-five,” he said, his grin growing, “and counting.”

“Shit Wrex, I’m surprised you came up for air long enough to stop by and say hello.”

Wrex tossed his head back and his laugh thundered above the music.

She grinned at her old friend, feeling an unfamiliar pang of happiness.

The Krogan sobered a bit, his gaze lingering and the silence lengthening before he spoke again. “I can’t ever repay you for what you did for my people Shepard.”

She nodded, looking at her hands as they played with her drink. “Just be a good leader Wrex. Teach them well.”

“I will, like you taught me Shepard.” She met his gaze again, sharing the understanding of sacrifice. After a moment, his grin spread again. “I plan to father 100 by years end.”

She downed her drink quickly, slamming her empty glass on the bar and looked back at him. “To be fair you did have a head start.”

He chuckled and winked, “Then you best go find your woman and get caught up.”

She nodded, smiling. As she turned to go, he added, “Just let me know if you need those pointers.”

“I’ve got it covered, thanks,” she tossed him a grin over her shoulder as she pushed off the bar and began scanning the crowd.

The music was throbbing. The dance floor was full of her friends. She saw Ashley tossing her hair around, eyes closed, dancing with abandon. Tali pulled Garrus reluctantly out onto the floor, though he looked less reluctant when she started dancing against him. Joker stood just off to the side, a drink in hand, a far off smile on his face while he watched the dance floor. She felt her emotions rise unchecked at the sight of her friends surrounding her. Alive and free. This is what she’d fought for, what they had fought for. They had followed her, trusted her to lead them even after facing impossible missions and unbearable loss.

She had been avoiding this moment since she came back, afraid that she would find disdain and pain and disappointment. But even now, after everything, they believed in her. They didn’t care about the details. They trusted her to choose. They trusted her to lead. And she would never have come to see this without Liara steadily pushing her along, knowing instinctively what she feared and what she needed.

Her eyes caught the familiar figure of an Asari standing off to the side near an alcove. Shepard made her way to her.

Liara watched the raw emotion playing over Shepard’s face as she came towards her. Stepping closer she wrapped her arms around Shepard’s neck and pressed her lips just below her ear so she could be heard over the pulse of the music. “Are you ok?”

Shepard slid her hands around Liara’s waist and spun her into the alcove, away from the eyes of the rest of the crowd and crushed Liara’s lips with her own. Liara’s hands clenched against Shepard’s body, pulling her close. When Shepard finally pulled away, she met Liara’s amorous gaze. “Embrace eternity with me,” Shepard whispered urgently.

Liara paused her hands roaming Shepard’s body, staring at her. “Jess, we can’t here…”

“Liara please, I need to share with you what I’m feeling. I need you. Please.” The last word was uttered with such feeling Liara was helpless to resist. She pulled Shepard close and opened the connection between their minds. The sudden thrust of emotion that came from her partner was so overwhelming she cried out. Her fingers dug into her lover’s shoulders, sure to leave a mark. She felt at once so much pleasure and pain the intensity was like riding a ship being tossed in a storm. After the initial flood passed she felt the love coursing through both of them. She had little awareness of what their physical bodies were doing but she knew she was on the edge. The exquisite feelings both emotional and physical were coursing through them… from one to the other and echoed back again. Then they were cresting the wave together, climaxing, pulled by such powerful emotion it carried their physical bodies along with it. They clung to each other as the storm buffeted them.

Minutes later as she slowly withdrew the connection, Liara became aware of the tears spilling down her face. Their bodies were crushed together against the wall of the alcove, their legs pressed tightly between each other’s thighs. Shepard pulled back far enough to look at her. A satisfied shudder of pleasure ran through Liara’s body as her eyes found Shepard’s and fell into them. The softest smile touched Shepard’s lips as she tenderly wiped the tears from Liara’s cheeks. “There just aren’t words that exist to express what I feel for you,” she said softly. “And I needed you to know.”

Liara knew it would take a while to fully appreciate all of what her lover had just shared with her. It was beyond anything she ever thought possible to experience. Shepard always seemed to be surprising her with the depth of what was possible between them. She brought her hands to Shepard’s face and kissed her reverently. “I love you Jess, so much,” she whispered.

Shepard smiled again, “Thank you for this. For tonight. For… everything.”

“My pleasure.”

Their attention was pulled from their hideaway by the loud clinking of glasses and the lowering of the music. They emerged from the alcove hand in hand to find everyone gathered on the dance floor with Ashley standing on a chair in the middle. Ashley looked over the crowd and found Shepard. She raised her glass.

“Shepard, you missed your funeral. For the second time,” a couple chuckles ran through the crowd. “And I would be remiss if I let this party go on without a poem.” An audible groan came from someone, most likely Joker or Garrus.

She cleared her throat dramatically, held up her glass and closed her eyes:

_O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;_

_The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;_

_The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,_

_While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:_

_But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red,_

_Where on the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead._

_O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;_

_Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills;_

_For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths--for you the shores a-crowding;_

_For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;_

_Here Captain! dear sister! This arm beneath your head; I_

_t is some dream that on the deck, You've fallen cold and dead._

_My Captain does not answer, her lips are pale and still;_

_My sister does not feel my arm, she has no pulse nor will;_

_The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;_

_From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;_

_Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells! But I, with mournful tread,_

_Walk the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead._

The crowd had grown very still. The silence lengthened. Ashley opened her eyes, a trail of tears glistened on her cheeks. She looked at Shepard. She searched her face for the confident, fearless commander and friend she’d know, that she’d followed into battle, that she’d trusted, she’d loved. A smile tugged at her lips when she searched Shepard’s face and didn’t see the fear that had haunted her since her return. Instead she found a thankful smile.

Ashley raised her glass high. She glanced around at her crew-mates and friends. “To our Captain returned to us. To Shepard.”


	15. Chapter 15

The shuttle broke through the atmosphere above the northern hemisphere on Earth around mid-afternoon the next day. Shepard piloted the shuttle in over the Atlantic Ocean, it’s blue-green surface glinting brightly as it caught the low winter arc of the sun.

The first sights of land were bright white cliffs, the ocean waves crashing against their base. The land beyond was green for the most part, but as they flew further inland dark scorched patches of earth became more frequent. It was clear these charred patches of earth used to be towns, some even cities, now completely destroyed, erased from existence and their inhabitants with them.

Liara glanced over to see Shepard’s face had darkened considerably. Her jaw muscles bunched under the skin. Liara reached over and placed her hand over Shepard’s, giving it a soft, reassuring squeeze.

Signs of civilization began to dot the ground below. Ruins of buildings mixed with new construction. Movement of vehicles, signs of life. When she’d last flown over the streets of London it had been night, deserted, lit only by gunfire, smoldering heaps of debris, and Reapers. Now flying over that same city she found it significantly changed. Survivors had rallied to the city center once the Reapers were defeated. The streets were clear of debris. People could be seen moving below. It looked like… a living city.

Shepard flew them to the Alliance headquarters for the region and landed where instructed by Alliance command. When they exited the shuttle, a young officer was waiting. He saluted sharply. “Captain Shepard, I’m Lieutenant Franklin. Welcome to London.”

Shepard saluted, “At ease Lieutenant. This is Dr. T’soni,” she motioned to her companion.

He turned and saluted her as well, “Of course, it’s an honor to meet you both. If you’ll follow me I’ll take you to the Admiral.”

He turned and marched them towards the entrance. Shepard rolled her eyes at Liara, the Asari smiled in return.

The halls of Alliance HQ London were pristine and teaming with smartly dressed soldiers. As they passed each stopped, snapped to attention and saluted.

“How does anyone get anything done around here with all of this saluting with every passing officer?” Shepard mumbled to Liara.

“I don’t think they do it for every officer. I think they are doing it because it is you, Shepard,” Liara informed her.

“Shit,” she mumbled, squaring her shoulders a little more.

Lieutenant Franklin ushered them into a war room with a large center console, an image of the city rotating in the center. The table was busily attended by several other Alliance officers tapping screens or making notes on data pads. At the head was Admiral Hannah Shepard. She was pacing, hands stiffly behind her back, as she addressed someone on the vid com when they entered.

“Two more weeks is unacceptable Corporal,” she was saying in a commanding voice that brokered no argument. “You’ll have it done in one as initially agreed or I’ll find a replacement that will.”

“Yes, Admiral Shepard,” the voice answered, a hint of resignation evident.

“Captain Shepard on deck!” Lieutenant Franklin announced loudly.

The entire room of officers dropped what they were doing and stood at attention, saluting.

The Admiral made her way around the table and came to stand in front of her daughter. Shepard stood at attention and saluted. “Admiral Shepard.”

The Admiral answered with a perfect salute, textbook in fact. “At ease Captain,” she said, her gray eyes studying her daughter. The rest of the officers continued about their business.

“Admiral allow me to introduce Dr. Liara T’soni,” Shepard said, turning to her Asari counterpart.

Liara bowed slightly in greeting, “Admiral, it is a pleasure to meet you in person.”

Hannah extended her hand, a hint of warmth entering her voice. “Dr. T’soni, the honor is mine. Please, both of you, come in my office."

Her mother’s office was exactly what Shepard would have pictured, stark, clean, and utterly in order. One entire wall of the office was a window looking out over the city. Shepard was drawn to the view. Her mother joined her, arms behind her back and nodded to the square several blocks away surrounded by construction equipment and new structures in various states of completion.

“That’s Anderson Square or will be as soon as construction is complete,” the Admiral said.

Shepard was staring into the late afternoon sun towards the area her mother indicated. A familiar memory was itching at the corner of her consciousness. “Anderson?” she mumbled.

Liara stood next to her. She placed a gentle hand on the small of Shepard’s back, lending her silent support.

“Yes,” the Admiral said, glancing over at her daughter, “This ridge,” she pointed to the vantage point of the office, “is where you started your final push. And that square down there is where you and Anderson stepped into the beam that carried you to the Citadel.”

Realization and recognition dawned on Shepard and she felt a little weak in the knees. Liara seemed to sense her distress and shifted closer, her mere presence helping to ground her.

Now that it had been pointed out, the landscape was clear. She had stood with Anderson essentially in the exact spot they were standing now. It was between that spot and the newly named Anderson Square that most of her nightmares lived. But the scene before her looked nothing like her nightmares. Where in her dreams there was a crater of destruction, here were newly constructed buildings and freshly paved streets. Instead of Husks, and Banshees, and any other ungodly creatures the area was teaming with Alliance officers and civilians going about their day. And in the distance was the setting sun, not the red eye of the Reaper baring down on her.

She felt her grip on her emotions slipping. Tears stung the back of her eyes. For Anderson, for the other souls lost, for herself. But at the brink of letting it all overwhelm her she struggled to maintain control. She took in a sharp breath and exhaled slowly, bolstered by Liara’s warmth next to her, feeling the support in her soul.

“Anderson was the best soldier and commanding officer I’ve ever known,” she finally said quietly. She nodded to her mother, “It’s a fitting tribute.”

In a rare moment of affection, the Admiral placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, “I know he meant a great deal to you Jess.” Her hand slipped back into regulation behind her back, “He’ll be honored here by many future generations. His sacrifice won’t be soon forgotten.”

Shepard nodded and after one more glance, tore her gaze from the window, needing to look elsewhere or loose control of her emotions.

“I’m sure you were surprised to see me on the Counsel in more ways than one,” Hannah Shepard said, striding behind her desk.

“Politics never seemed like your thing,” Shepard agreed.

“No, certainly not. But the war changes many things, requires us to do what we can where we can.” She leaned forward, palms down on her desk. “Granted I’m under no illusions as to why I was asked. Certainly there are others better suited for the role. They may have only asked me because my name is Shepard, but I have more to bring to the Counsel than a name.”

Shepard resisted the urge to stand at attention and crossed her arms instead. “I’m sure you will Admiral. But I suspect it’s more than a name they’re after. I’m fairly certain they are hoping you’ll influence me into accepting whatever they purpose.” Shepard tensed into a defiant posture.

“Well then they don’t know either of us very well, now do they Captain,” the Admiral said, leveling her gaze at her daughter.

Mother and daughter studied each other for a long moment. Finally the Admiral straightened and said, “I hoped I might convince you two to join me tonight for dinner.” She walked around her desk and tapped her com. “Lieutenant, have my shuttle prepped for departure.” She looked up at Shepard and Liara expectantly.

Before Shepard could object, Liara smiled graciously and answered for them, “Of course Admiral. We’d be honored.”

Hannah Shepard’s face spread into a rare smile and for a moment, Liara was struck by the familiarity of manner between mother and daughter. Both dedicated soldiers, both unflinching in their duty, both ridiculously stubborn and both who’s rare smiles could light up a room. “Wonderful. And call me Hannah.”


	16. Chapter 16

Hannah Shepard flew the shuttle north, away from the city and into the highlands. The rolling hillsides became lush and green and the signs of civilization and scars of war were left far behind. It almost seemed like they were traveling back in time.

They landed on a small flat area, barely big enough for the shuttle to touch down. A chill wind was blowing and the air was crisp and smelled of earth and moss, a far cry from the sterile environment of modern cities, space stations, starships or war zones. Upon exit, Hannah led them up a rocky path to a small, quaint stone house that looked well-kept for being centuries old.

Hannah smiled slightly as she motioned them in. Once inside they were overwhelmed by the warmth of colors and textures filling the space. The walls inside, much like outside were of rough hewn wood and native stone. Textiles of rich woven fabrics adorned the walls and seating areas. It was retrofitted with modern appliances, environment controls and conveniences, but they remained mostly tucked away and hidden, preserving the rustic charm.

Shepard looked around, at a loss. This was not the type of environment she would have imagined her mother escaping to. The Hannah Shepard she’d grown up with lived in the sterile spaces of Alliance stations and ships. Her world was about regulation, organization and minimization. This was… anything but that.

Liara was instantly fascinated by the antique decorations and promptly began moving around the space soaking them in. She picked up a Celtic design carved in wood and began turning it over in her hands. “These are fascinating,” she exclaimed, almost under her breath.

Hannah smiled in appreciation but her eyes were studying Shepard.

“Jess you look positively appalled,” she said finally to her daughter, who stood frozen in the threshold.

Finally Shepard shook herself, “I just… It’s just… I’m sorry mom, it’s not exactly the kind of place I imagined you calling home.”

Hannah nodded in understanding, absently rubbing a piece of woolen cloth between her fingers. “It never was. My attention was always focused on the stars. On leaving Earth and exploring beyond.” She looked back at Jess. “Your father on the other hand always loved Earth.”

Liara was brought out of her musings by the mention of Shepard’s father. William Shepard had been an Alliance medic. He died while attempting to evacuate Turian soldiers who were under attack by Krogan clans. It was in one of the earliest Alliance rescue missions that began to turn the tide in the Turian/Human relations after the First Contact War. Shepard had been very young at the time and she had never really spoken of her father.

Shepard for her part looked pained at the mention of him.

But Hannah continued, walking into the main room where a stone fireplace stood cold. She ran a hand along the wood mantel rubbed smooth by years of wear. “This house has been in your father’s family for generations,” she said quietly. “It was built by your great, great, great grandfather in the early 1900’s.”

Jess’s eyes wandered over the walls as if suddenly seeing something familiar. “When your father died,” Hannah continued softly, “he left this to us.” A mirthful chuckle escaped her. “Well, to you when you came of age.”

“You never mentioned it before,” Jess mumbled, her fingers running over the rough stone as if she could feel a connection to her ancestors through the walls.

Hannah shook her head, her expression showing regret and pain, “I hadn’t been here for years. Since right after…” she let the sentence end, knowing Jess understood that it had been since her’ father’s death. “Then over time you find that things change you.”

“War,” Jess muttered, thinking of how it had changed her in ways she didn’t even understand.

Hannah stepped beside her and placed a hand on her daughters shoulder gathering her attention, her eyes brimming with sadness. A sadness Jess hadn’t seen in her mother since she was very young. Hannah touched her daughter’s cheek tentatively, “Or the loss of a child. Loosing you.”

She removed her touch after a moment, glancing around the interior of the home again. “And suddenly you long for that connection again.”

Liara watched the interaction carefully, studying the shades of emotions surge through Jess’s eyes. From the war that so acutely occupied her thoughts in the present to the pain of the death of her father 30 years past. The amount of suffering Jess had weighing on her caused Liara to physically shutter.

Hannah took notice and mistook it for a reaction to the chill in the air from outside. “Oh Liara, I’m sorry. It gets quite cool at night when the sun goes down this time of year. We have standard environment controls but I always rather build a fire.” She looked over at her daughter, who still seemed stuck in place. “Jess would you mind going out and chopping some wood from the woodpile around back and bringing it in before it gets dark?”

Shepard nodded absently, pleased to have some physical action to help her work through the emotions that threatened to paralyze her. She cast a questioning look at Liara, who returned a reassuring smile, then she disappeared outside.

Hannah gave Liara a warm smile that reached all the way to her eyes which Liara sensed was a rare gift. “She loves you,” Hannah stated.

If Liara was surprised by the directness, she didn’t show it. She met Hannah’s gaze openly. “As I do her. More than anything.”

Hannah smiled again, nodding as if satisfied. She began to busy herself in the kitchen. Liara came over and sat nearby. “I’m glad,” Hannah said. “I wasn’t the best example to her for expressing how she felt. But regardless she always seemed to manage. She got that from her father I’m sure.”

“She doesn’t speak much of him,” Liara said.

Hannah nodded, “My fault as well I suppose.”

“She was very young when he died.”

“Yes, only four. But more than that…” Hannah seemed to hesitate. She paused in what she was doing a moment before continuing. “I loved her father more than anything. He was everything I wasn’t. Spontaneous, gleeful, mysterious, fun. He wasn’t afraid to take risks. He embraced every moment. And Jess was his greatest treasure. “ She chuckled to herself. “I wish you could have seen them together. They were so alike. So full of life.” Her smile faded. “After he died, I saw him every time I looked at Jess. In her smile, in her precociousness.” She shook her head, “And out of selfishness, to save myself pain, I pushed her away. I was cold and strict and disciplined, because those were things that didn’t remind me of Will.” She shrugged, helplessly, “I don’t think I fully realized what I’d done until I thought she died three years ago. I was suddenly mourning them both all over again.” She paused again and wiped at a tear that had escaped. She placed her hands around Liara’s and her gray eyes met the blue Asari’s. “But thanks to you I got another chance.”

Liara smiled sadly and they shared the pain of loss for a moment.

Hannah picked up a data pad nearby and handed it to Liara. “Here, you might find these interesting.”

As Hannah continued in the kitchen, Liara looked through the images on the data pad. Many were centuries old photos of the house they were in now and people Liara assumed were Shepard’s ancestors. She began to notice some rather startling similarities as generations progressed between some of the people in the pictures and Shepard. The rich red hair, the striking blue eyes, even the lopsided smiles. She stopped on an image of a much younger Hannah Shepard smiling, her arms around a handsome man with red hair and sparkling blue eyes. Even the tilt of his lips were a match to the impish smile so familiar in her lover’s unguarded moments. This, she realized, was Jess’s father William. She studied him closer. His arm was around Hannah. They were both in Alliance training fatigues. They looked young and full of life.

The next image must have been a few years later, Will and Hannah again, this time holding a swaddled baby Liara knew to be Jess. A smile tempted her lips. It was strange seeing an image of the helpless baby who would become the Savior of the Galaxy, not to mention the love of her life. But it was the next image that made her heart stop.

It was of Jess and her father together, embracing and smashing their cheeks together with big smiles. Their faces so much alike. It must have been taken shortly before Will died, because Jess looked to be around four years old. But it was the setting that stopped her and made her hands tremble. They were outside on a beautiful sunny day, embracing under the enormous branches of a giant windblown tree. A tree remarkably like the one in their shared dream. And on the trunk of the tree behind them she could see the edge of a carving.

“Hannah, do you know where this image was taken?” she asked, trying to keep her voice as normal as possible.

Hannah looked at the image and smiled. “Yes, that was our last shore leave before William died. We spent a week here. I believe that was taken nearby, just a hilltop over.”

Liara stood suddenly, “I’m just going to check on Shepard… Jess and see if she needs help bringing in the wood.”

Hannah watched puzzled as Liara hastily disappeared outside.

###

The sun was almost gone as Liara circled the house. She found the woodpile with the ax buried into the chopping block but no sign of Jess. She felt her heart beating hard and fast and forced herself to calm down and take a deep breath. She looked out to where the sun was setting behind the hills and saw it. The familiar giant windswept tree on a hillside, practically a silhouette against the sinking sun, and beside it the figure of Shepard.

She hurried down the hill and up the other side and after a few minutes came to stand next to her beloved. Shepard showed no sign of acknowledging her presence, her gaze riveted to the tree before them. Liara silently slipped her hand into Shepard’s and felt her grip tighten in response.

“I was chopping and I looked up and saw it,” she mumbled. She shifted her dazed look over to Liara, who was staring equally in awe. “What does it mean?”

Liara handed her the data pad she’d brought with her. Shepard studied it. “You may not remember it consciously but you’ve been here before. Your mother said this was the last shore leave you spent together before your father died.”

Shepard looked from the picture to the tree before them and shook her head. Liara noticed silent tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. “What does it mean?” she pleaded.

Liara took Shepard’s face in her hands and stepped close, letting their bodies touch and souls entwine. The anguish she felt in Shepard tore at her heart. “This was a place you felt safe. Where you felt loved. Where you remembered family. You must have shared this with me in our joinings and when I thought of us,” tears fell down Liara’s own cheeks now, “of hopes for our future, our family, our memories combined to create something new to share.”

Shepard sunk to her knees and Liara with her. She embraced her, even as Shepard’s shoulders shook with silent sobs. After a long moment, Shepard pulled away, staring at the ground and shaking her head. “I never thought I’d get here,” she confessed. “I accepted that it was over, that I was going to die. But more than that, I was breaking my promise to you, I was killing EDI, I was wiping out an entire race!” She paused pulling in a shaking breath. “I accepted it as I fired into that power cylinder. I never thought I’d live to deal with the consequences… the loss. The guilt. Second guessing.” She looked into Liara’s eyes, pleading, “What if I can’t face it? What if I can’t face living?”

Liara placed a hand on each side of Shepard’s face and forced her to look into her eyes. “Listen to me Jess. You are the strongest person I have ever known. You, more than anyone, can do this and do it well. You will live for your friends that died fighting to make this moment happen. You will live for me and for the family that we will make someday. But more than anything, you will live and keep fighting every day because that is who you are Jess Shepard. You will fight. You will live. For them, for us, for you.”

Jess blinked, looking into Liara’s eyes. A calm came over her. A clarity swept through her mind. She breathed in a deep, shuttering breath and let it out slowly. Then Liara felt it, saw it even in her eyes.

Shepard let go.

The guilt, the pain, the struggle, the conflict all loosened it’s grasp on Shepard’s soul ever so slightly. But it was enough.

Shepard managed an unsteady smile. “I love you.”

Liara leaned her forehead against Shepard’s, “And I love you.”

Shepard turned her head to look at the tree. The eight pointed star standing out light against the dark bark. “What do you think the carving means?” she asked quietly.

Liara shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s deep. It must very very old.”

“Maybe it’s about direction,” Shepard said quietly. “Guiding us here.” Her eyes met Liara’s and held. “Guiding us home… to each other.”

Liara gently brushed the tears from Shepard’s cheeks. “We will always find each other,” she whispered with certainty.

Shepard smiled softly, feeling the truth of the conviction behind the words in the deepest parts of herself. Their gazes drifted back to the tree as the last rays of light slipped behind the hillside.

After a moment of calm Liara said, “Your mother must be wondering what happened to us. We should get back.”

Shepard kissed her and Liara felt the promise of later in it. “As you command, Dr. T’soni.”

#######

When they re-entered the house, arms laden with firewood, Hannah only smiled warmly at them. Shepard started a fire and they spent the evening eating and talking, enjoying the rare moment far away from the Alliance, the Counsel, and the questions about the future.

Soon after dinner, Hannah stood and shrugged back into her uniform jacket. Shepard frowned, “Are you leaving?”

Hannah smiled, “The galaxy never sleeps. I have a lot to do to live up to the Shepard name after all.”

Hannah stopped to place gentle hand on Shepard’s cheek, “Please stay as long as you like. This is your home now more than mine. Stay, come and go,” she glanced at Liara, her smile growing. “I hope it is a place of solace for you as it was for me and your father.” She looked back at Jess, looking into her daughter’s eyes that reminded her so much of the love she’d lost so many years ago, familiar but somehow by her own actions, admittedly a stranger. “Jess, I want to you know how fiercely proud of you I am. How proud of you I have always been. I am so sorry for not telling you sooner but I am so happy to have the chance to tell you now.”

Memories of years of striving to make her mother proud and being sharply disappointed flooded Jess’s mind immediately. She took a breath and nodded, letting it go. Life was complex enough without clinging to past regrets when the present and future held so much promise.

Shepard smiled and nodded. “Thanks mom. That means a lot.”

Hannah pulled her daughter into a hug. Liara watched, smiling, sensing the healing spreading through both Shepards before her eyes. Their hug was a bit awkward, the two being so out of practice, but it was a start. Hannah then hugged Liara warmly and whispered “Thank you.”

And then she was gone.

Shepard stared at the door long after it closed. Finally Liara came to stand beside her, lacing her arm in Shepard’s and leaning her head on her shoulder. Shepard signed and rubbed her scar, “Well this trip didn’t start at all how I imagined.”

Liara smiled, looking up at her beloved. “Good or bad?” she asked.

Shepard met her eyes and smiled softly. “Good.” She turned, encircling Liara in her arms and pulling her close. She kissed her gently. “Very good.”

They spent the night and well into the morning together in front of the fire bonded in mind, body and spirit. Eventually Shepard fell asleep. Not just any sleep, Liara noticed as she traced the lines of her lovers face, a peaceful sleep. She wasn’t restless. Her body was still, relaxed, truly resting for the first time in far too long.

Liara propped her head on her hand, studying ever line, retracing every curve. She noticed with something of a start how young Jess looked sleeping like this. She hadn’t really thought too much about it before but the Savior of the Galaxy was young, even by Human standards. Scarcely past her early 30’s the indomitable Captain Shepard had accomplished more already than most would in a lifetime. Even an Asari lifetime. A smile tugged at Liara as she contemplated the calm planes and angles of Jess’s face, clear of frown lines and stress and bunched nerves. If they really managed to keep relative peace in the Galaxy, she thought, they still had a lot of time together to look forward to.


	17. Chapter 17

Liara woke to the sound of her omni-tool beeping. She blinked lazily and turned to find the blankets next to her empty, the fire burned down to embers and daylight streaming in from outside. She sat up, tapping a few strokes on her omni-tool and frowned.

She found Shepard outside, dressed in her N7 sweats and a woolen blanket over her shoulders to fight off the morning chill. She was leaning casually on the rough rock wall, sipping a mug of hot tea, staring out into the beauty of the morning view. Liara paused, tilting her head, watching for a moment. Shepard had her hair pulled loosely back, as she’d worn it when they first met. She’d worn it down since Cerberus so the look sent a warm pang of nostalgia through her. Shepard must have sensed her and without turning she set a second cup of tea next to her.

Liara smiled to herself and stepped up to the wall next to her, wrapping her hands around the cup. “It’s very beautiful here,” she said after a moment. A few sheep dotted the surrounding hills and the sounds of birds going about their morning business filled the air. A soft breeze brushed against them and ruffled the trees with its gentle caress.

Shepard nodded and looked over at her companion. Liara had hastily thrown on Shepard’s N7 hoodie which fell to the top of her thighs. She wore nothing else, her shapely bare legs showing tantalizing amounts of blue skin. If an Asari could look disheveled, Liara looked adorably so. Shepard smiled as she reached out and ran a hand along Liara’s cheek, letting her fingers trail down to her collarbone. “It is,” she said softly, “but it doesn’t remotely compare to you.”

Liara smiled and would have blushed if she could. She took Shepard’s hand in hers, pressed her palm against her lips and then wrapped her arm around Shepard’s waist, snuggling against the cool breeze.

“What should we do with the day,” Liara asked lightly. “We could go exploring. I’ve read about the ancient Druids in this region of Earth. Granted it’s not 50,000 year old Prothean ruins, but it could be interesting none the less.”

Shepard tilted her head, nodding, seeming to contemplate the suggestion. “Sure we could do that. Or you could tell me about the message you got this morning.”

Liara shrugged and avoided her gaze, taking a sip of tea instead. “Just an update from Feron. He actually may have a lead on what happened to Javick after the war.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.

Liara dropped her head, shaking it. “It’s not important. These next few days are for us.” But it was no use. She could feel Shepard’s eyes on her, waiting. Finally she met them. “Are you sure?” she asked.

Shepard graced her with a smile. A smile that conveyed appreciation for her willingness to ignore the galaxy and just be with her, but also reflected the renewed confidence Liara could see building strength within her. The strength, focus, and determination of Shepard before the war ended.

Liara nodded, accepting that for now, their time was not their own. She tapped her omni-tool. “Feron also reported that Glyph completed decoding some encrypted information we intercepted a week ago.”

“Must have been a serious amount of encrypting to keep Glyph occupied that long. What was it?” Shepard said, squinting at the images on the omni-tool.

“It appears to be plans for a broad scale attack on a sensitive target by the Redeemers.”

Shepard frowned. “From what Miranda told me that doesn’t seem quite their style.”

“It’s true, their operations have tended to involve small infiltration groups which has made them hard to track. That is why my own information channels did not pick up on the planned attack on Thessia until it was too late. However, information traffic has increased considerably in the past 4 to 6 weeks.”

Shepard stiffened. “You mean since word got out that I’m still alive.”

Liara could not deny it. “Yes,” she said quietly.

“So what does this mean? What is the target?” Shepard asked.

Liara shook her head. “The message is not complete. We come across this often in Redeemer transmissions. They are fragmented. Pieces are sent through different channels with drastically different encryptions. I’ve rarely gotten the whole picture in one piece of data.” She paused, biting her lip, holding back her next thought.

Shepard noticed. “What are you thinking?”

Liara tilted her head. “It is possible Miranda may have more information. I’ve found our channels do not overlap as much as one might think. They may have intercepted another piece of the information. If so, combining them may provide a more complete set of data.”

Shepard had meant to broach the subject at some point and now seemed as good a time as any. “So do you want to tell me what happened between the two of you?”

Liara closed her omni-tool, pulling away from Shepard’s side a bit, anger clearly flashing on her face. “We got into an… argument.”

“An argument?”

Liara touched her forehead and closed her eyes a moment before turning back to look at Shepard. “It was after the Crucible detonated. After the Normandy returned to Earth. It had taken several weeks. Communication had been cut off. We had no way of knowing…” She met Shepard’s eyes, sadness showing, “…we didn’t know what had happened to you. There was chaos as you might imagine. Miranda had stepped in to help the Alliance with intelligence and information. My own networks were in shambles. I demanded information on you… recovery efforts… your last known location… anything. She blocked my access at every turn. She refused to help me in my search for you.” She shook her head, her frustration from those moments returning, “When I confronted her, she blamed me for loosing you. She blamed me for leaving you on Earth. For… not… fighting to the death by your side.”

Liara was physically shaking at the memory.

Shepard placed a hand on each of her shoulders and forced her to meet her eyes. “Listen to me, Liara. I put you on the Normandy. I put you on there because I know you would have died fighting by my side. You were injured, you and Ashley both. Your deaths would have been the worst possible outcome to me outside of the destruction of the Galaxy. It was my call. And I would do exactly the same every time.”

Liara crumbled a little, tears spilling down her cheeks, “I was angry,” she whispered. “I was so angry with you. This was the second time you ordered me to leave you and I lost you. And Miranda was throwing that in my face. And now to think that all that time she knew, she KNEW you were alive,” Liara shook her head sadly, the anger suddenly draining out of her. “I exhausted every avenue I could but the more power she gained with the Alliance, the more she shut me out. After a few months I left for Thessia. At least there I felt I could do some good.” She met Shepard’s eyes again and added softly, “You had shown me that.”

Shepard wrapped her in a protective embrace and whispered in her ear, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Liara pulled back slightly, a tortured look in her eyes. “She’s in love with you,” she whispered.

“Maybe,” Shepard responded softly, “but I’m yours. Forever and always. Never doubt that Liara.”

Liara ran a hand along Shepard’s face and whispered with an intense fierceness, “I love you Jess Shepard.”

Shepard kissed her. Liara reached out with her mind for the bond they shared with each other and no one else, trying to share the feelings that no words could communicate. They embraced, eventually staring out into the beauty of the day.

Finally Liara said, “We are going to need her help.”

Shepard nodded, tightening her grip on the Asari. “I know. That will be the tricky part.”

###

The image of Ashley Williams stood with her arms crossed in the middle of the cabin. She shook her head, “I wish I could help you Shepard but I don’t even think Hackett knows the actual location of Miranda’s research base. There is speculation that it’s an old Cerberus station which would make sense but I can’t dig up any information on it’s actual location even through Spectre channels.”

“With her frequent appearances at the Citadel it has to be in the Sol system,” Shepard commented. She mirrored Ashley’s stance, arms folded. “After our last meeting she didn’t exactly leave me her phone number.”

Liara was busy typing at a terminal in full information broker mode. “I may have the next best thing,” she said, fingers flying.

Shepard moved to look over her shoulder, “Ash we’ll call you back.”

The image of Ashley disappeared and was almost instantly replaced by a familiar figure in a white lab coat with a puzzled expression. “Hello. Can I help you?”

“Oriana!” Shepard said breaking into a smile.

The younger Lawson’s face transformed with a bright smile. “Captain Shepard! What a surprise. Are you alright?”

“I am but I’m in a bit of a hurry and I need your help.”

“Certainly Captain, whatever I can do, of course.”

“I need to find your sister.”

Oriana’s smile faded. She cautioned a glance over her shoulder. Speaking in a much lower voice she said, “I’m sorry Captain, I don’t know where she is.”

Shepard leaned closer to Oriana’s image, lowering her voice as well. “Oriana, it’s important. I know she doesn’t want to see me. But I’m afraid a number of lives hang in the balance.”

“They usually do,” Liara muttered under her breath. Shepard cast her a quick regretful smile and squeezed her shoulder gently.

Oriana was quiet, obviously struggling with her loyalty to her sister and also what was best for her. She met Shepard’s eyes a moment, then began typing on her omni-tool. “I’m sending you some coordinates.” She met Shepard’s gaze again, “You should find what you need there.”

“I have them,” Liara confirmed.

Shepard nodded, smiling at Oriana. “Thank you.”

“Shepard,” Oriana said, stopping her from ending the transmission, “she’s… well, just be kind… even though she won’t be.”

Shepard nodded, “I know. Thanks Oriana.”

Shepard ended the transmission and turned to Liara who was watching her openly. After a moment she said, “The coordinate location is around Jupiter. If there is a Cerberus station in orbit it’s signal would be easily masked by the volatile atmosphere.”

“Perfect.”

“Indeed.”


	18. Chapter 18

Shepard couldn’t help the emotion that welled up in her as she watched the Normandy descend through the low clouds that had gathered in the afternoon sky. The ship was still sleek and beautiful and the sight of it brought a buffeting of emotions. The cargo bay door opened for them. Shepard and Liara stepped on board together, sparing just a moment to glance back at the small cabin on the hillside, the iconic windswept tree just a hilltop over. They’d come back, she promised herself. As the bay door closed and cut off her view she turned her attentions inside.

Steve Cortez was standing at the door controls and snapped off a salute and grinned at Shepard. “Commander Williams, Captain Shepard and Dr T’soni are aboard. We’re squared away for departure.”

“Copy that, Lieutenant,” Ashley’s voice responded.

“Breaking atmosphere,” Joker’s voice. “When somebody cares to let me know where we’re going I’ll be happy to plot a course.”

“Welcome back, Captain,” Steve said with a genuine smile.

“Thanks Lieutenant, but I’m not back. Just hitching a ride.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Cortez sounded unconvinced. “Commander Williams will meet you in the CIC.”

“Good to see you, Steve, “ Shepard said, giving him a pat on the arm as she passed.

“Same to you Captain.”

###

Liara and Shepard found Ashley standing in the cockpit behind Joker. She nodded to them when they entered.

Liara tapped her omni-tool. “Joker here are the coordinates.”

“Any idea what kind of reception we’re going to get from our old pal Miranda?” Joker asked as he set the course.

Shepard rubbed her scar, “Somewhere between highly annoyed and downright pissed.”

“So the norm,” he mumbled. “Coordinates set, eta one hour.”

Shepard and Liara filled Ashley in on the information Feron had provided, spotty as it was. A while later they found themselves back in the cockpit crowding Joker’s chair, peering out of the window at a space station in orbit above the swirling gases of Jupiter.

“Sensors are scrambled,” Joker commented, his fingers moving swift and deft over his console.

“As expected,” Liara added.

“Communications?” Shepard asked.

“We can give it a shot. Opening channel.”

“Unidentified Station this is Captain Shepard of the Alliance. Please identify yourself and prepare for docking.” Shepard’s voice was strong and controlled. Liara resisted the grin that threatened to break out listening to Shepard here in the cockpit of the Normandy. She was certain the nostalgia of the moment was affecting Ashley and Joker as well. She noticed Ashley spare a quick half smile at Shepard’s profile.

After a moment a clear voice came through the com channel. “Alliance vessel this is a private operations base. Docking is not permitted. Change course or prepare to be fired upon.”

“Yep, she’s pissed,” Joker mumbled.

Shepard gritted her teeth, her eyes narrowing, “So am I.”

“Unidentified Station, you tell Miranda Lawson that we are docking this ship. If she wants to blow the Savior of the Galaxy out of the sky she’s welcome to try,” Shepard’s voice was low and dangerous.

Ashley openly grinned.

After a moment the voice came back, “Alliance vessel, proceed to bay four for docking. Lawson Station out.”

Shepard let out a breath and straightened as Joker maneuvered the Normandy into the proper docking area.

“Lawson Station? Self absorbed much?” Joker snarked.

“Just get us docked Joker. Lets get this over with,” Shepard said.

It took a bit of arguing to get Ashley and Liara to allow Shepard to proceed on the station alone. Upon exit of the Normandy she was met by four armed guards with assault rifles wearing uniforms similar to Cerberus but black and sky blue instead of white and with a LRD insignia on the left shoulder.

“Nice warm welcome for an old friend,” Shepard commented to herself.

One of the guards stepped forward. “Follow me please.” The guards did an about face, surrounded her and marched her through the station. Branching off from the hallways she was led through were various labs, all teaming with a mix of scientists and soldiers, Alliance uniforms and LRD uniforms. The guards ushered her to a well secured door at the end of the hallway. After a moment of the lead guard talking quietly into her com, the door opened with a heavy _SWOOSH_ and the guard motioned for her to enter. They remained outside and the door closed promptly behind her.

The room was enormous, with a large floor to ceiling domed window looking out over the swirling masses of Jupiter’s surface. Various expensive collections of furniture and art were tastefully scattered about and in the center stood a single large desk with vid screens flanking 180 degrees. The person occupying the desk was obscured by the vid screens but her legs were clearly visible under the desk. Long, sleek, crossed legs.

Miranda didn’t immediately move to address her so Shepard crossed her arms and waited.

“Tell me Captain Shepard, what brings you to my doorstep unannounced,” Miranda said finally, although she remained at her desk.

Shepard took a few slow steps forward, keeping her voice conversational. “I would have thought I could drop by without being threatened. You know, for old times sake.”

Miranda didn’t answer immediately. Instead she uncrossed her legs and stood, walking slowly around her desk, her expression calm and remote. She leaned back against the desk and crossed her arms. “Why are you here?”

“Liara’s resources intercepted and decoded what appears to be a Redeemer plan for a large scale attack,” Shepard said.

“Congratulations. You should inform the Alliance and the Counsel immediately. I’m sure they can handle it.”

“The message is incomplete. The target, means and timetable are unknown. We thought you might have intercepted other messages that expand on this information.”

“We? So you already told the Alliance and the Counsel?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You know why not. They’ve never been helpful unless you can lay every bit of information at their feet. It’s better to ask them for forgiveness rather than permission. The same reason you’re out here hiding.”

“I’m not hiding Shepard.”

“Miranda… are you going to help me or not?”

“Are you asking as an Alliance Captain or a Counsel Spectre?”

“I’m asking as your friend,” Shepard raised her voice for the first time.

Miranda’s expression remained closed and impassive. “Friendship requires trust, Shepard. You’ve made it very clear that you no longer trust me.”

“Are you saying that you didn’t manipulate me?”

“No. I absolutely did. But my reasoning behind it you never bothered to ask.” She pushed off the desk and began to pace slowly. “Your recovery had stalled. Your body was healed but your mind… every time I tried to bring you around you would crash. I tried everything. Exhausted everything. Nothing worked.” She stopped and faced Shepard. “So I thought of what I knew about my friend. About what drove her. Drove you. It was simple. Loyalty. It was always your loyalty to the people you cared about. So at the failing of all else, I used that to bring you back. To push you forward. To try and heal you. What I did, I did _because_ I care.”

“By using your mind reading machine?”

Miranda crossed her arms and allowed a hint of a smile to quirk her lips, “That’s hardly an accurate description but for the sake of this conversation, yes. We mined your pleasant memories and tried inducing them. They seemed to have something of an effect, at least lessening the panic attacks caused by the other memories assaulting you day and night. And once you were conscious I used the potential situation on Thessia to motivate you further. I made what I thought was the best decision for you that I could at the time. It was the choice I had to make to try and save you from yourself.”

Shepard cocked her head to the side, studying Miranda. “You know, don’t you. You saw in your little machine what I had to do. The choice I had to make.”

Miranda looked away for a moment, “I did. But no one else. I destroyed any recorded memories of the true Catalyst and the decision you made.”

“Why?”

Miranda shrugged, meeting Shepard’s eyes again, “I assume for the same reason you omitted it from your debriefing. You made the best decision you could at the time. Nothing can change that now so what’s the point of discussing it.”

Shepard studied the woman before her carefully. “And what about what you did to Liara?”

Miranda blew out a frustrated breath and rubbed her temples. “It always comes back to Liara for you, doesn’t it.” She shook her head, “You don’t know what it was like after the Crucible detonated. It was pure chaos. The fact that we located your body at all was a miracle. I was fighting to keep you alive and under my care and not in some Alliance lab where you’d be lost forever. The cost was my silence. When the Normandy returned, Liara was in my face constantly but I couldn’t tell her, not and risk loosing oversight of your recovery.”

Shepard shook her head, “You could have told her something Miranda. You of all people knew what she’d already been through.”

Miranda nodded slowly, “In hindsight, I wish I had handled if differently. But once we started fighting it took on a life of it’s own.”

Shepard watched her, judging her sincerity. “Thank you,” she said finally, making sure to meet her eyes so Miranda would know she meant it. “It’s impossible to try and explain what it feels like to not be in control of your own life…”

“Not to me,” Miranda said quietly. Their eyes met and held.

Shepard nodded. “I need you Miranda. I need my friend. For this but really for more. Are you with me?”

“I’m with you Shepard. I’ve always been with you.” They shared a regretful smile.


	19. Chapter 19

Miranda left Shepard with a single guard near the docking bay while she went on ahead to collect her data. Ashley and Liara joined her after a moment, both looking at her expectantly.

Shepard shrugged. “She’s helping,” she said simply. A guard led them back down the corridor. “Miranda said they’ve intercepted a few transmission fragments that might be relevant. We’re going to meet with one of her specialists.”

The guard ushered them into one of the labs, this one clearly a tech lab, the walls covered with screens and diagnostic equipment. Four scientists in LRD uniforms were gathered around the specialist who was wearing an Alliance uniform. The Alliance Specialist was issuing instructions and the scientists promptly broke off to their tasks. Her voice caused a grin to break across Shepard’s face.

“Samantha Traynor! Fancy seeing you here.”

The dark haired specialist stiffened at the sound of Shepard’s voice and wheeled around, an astonished look on her face. “Commander! Err, I mean Captain!” She caught herself and managed a salute. “It’s good to see you. All of you.” She smiled at Ashley and Liara.

“You work for Miranda?” Ashley asked.

“Well technically I’m assigned to the Alliance Special Tasks and Research group but I’ve been working out of Lawson R&D for the last few months on a special project. Here, let me show you.”

She walked them to one of the nearby diagnostic stations and activated the console. After tapping a few keystrokes she spoke into the air, “System 343 please identify.”

“System 343 identifies Specialist Samantha Traynor, Alliance. Authorization required.”

The sound of the modulated voice made the hair on Shepard’s neck stand on end. She felt Liara grip her arm in surprise.

Traynor continued, “System 343, authorization AlphaZed29016RocketTop. Identify.”

“Authorization accepted. System 343, Enhanced Defense Intelligence online.”

“EDI,” Shepard said softly.

Traynor glanced at her, smiling sadly. “It’s what I’ve been able to restore so far. Just the basic VI systems, no AI or self awareness. Not yet anyway,” she said the last with a quiet determination.

“That’s amazing,” Shepard said.

“System 343 identify. Captain Jess Shepard, Alliance and Counsel Spectre,” EDI said.

Shepard smiled at the sound of her name in EDI’s voice. “Yeah it’s me EDI. It’s good to hear your voice.”

There was no response. There wouldn’t be from a pure VI system.

“I see you’ve all found each other,” a voice sounded behind them. They turned to find Miranda, data disc in hand. “Shall we get started?”

###

Shepard, Liara, Ashley and Samantha gathered around a small galaxy map with Miranda. Once the data disc was activated the map came alive and navigated to a spot in empty space just outside of the Sol system. The coordinate beacon blinked at them.

“This is the main piece of information we mined from a string of what otherwise would have been considered space noise that seems relevant to the Redeemer fragment Dr. T’soni uncovered,” Samantha explained.

“How did you catch it?” the Shadow Broker asked.

The Specialist began to twist her hands together, a habit when she felt embarrassed. “I wrote an algorithm that scans said noise for certain signatures we identified following past Redeemer attacks. It runs constantly and alerts at anything that shows similar patterns.”

“Impressive,” Liara commented.

“Thanks,” Samantha said quietly, smiling.

Ashley motioned to the blinking beacon they were all staring at, “Am I missing something? There’s nothing there. It’s just empty space.”

“The perfect rendezvous point,” Shepard commented, studying the location.

“My thoughts as well,” Miranda added. “We know the Redeemers work in small groups, at least in what we’ve seen from them so far. To me that indicates communications that are regulated, direct, and singular. Specialist Traynor please pull up the other message.”

Samantha’s hands moved expertly over the console pulling up a wireframe model of a cylindrical device that rotated in the air between them.

“What is it?” Ashley asked.

“We believe it’s the weapon that will cause the large scale event indicated in the message Dr. T’soni intercepted,” Traynor explained.

“So the meeting is likely a handoff of the weapon,” Shepard speculated.

“Yes,” Miranda said.

“But what’s the target?” Ashley asked.

“Given the timing and scale of the attack and the Redeemers seeming penchant for disrupting Galactic Unity events, I would surmise that it’s the celebration planned to mark the one year anniversary of the end of the Reaper War. Dignitaries from across the Galaxy are already traveling to the Citadel to be there. The reveal of the Galactic Unity Fleet is planned. The Counsel will be in attendance in person for the first time since the war ended as well as…” she paused and all eyes drifted to Shepard.

“The Easter Bunny?” Shepard deadpanned.

“The Savior of the Galaxy,” Miranda corrected.

“It’s always about you and the damn Citadel,” Ashley grumbled.

Shepard ignored the jab, instead pushing off the table and addressing the group. “Ok, we don’t have much time.”

“What’s the plan Skipper?” Ashley asked.

“We use the Normandy’s stealth system to sit on this location and monitor the rendezvous. Until we know who, how many and what we’re dealing with we won’t have a specific response but the primary objective is to stop this attack.”

“And secondary?” Liara asked.

Shepard met her gaze, “Stop the Redeemers for good.”

Liara nodded, pushing off the table as well. “We should contact Garrus and Tali. Their ship is still in the system. They can provide backup if needed.”

Shepard nodded. She turned to Miranda, “Would you object to us borrowing Specialist Traynor in case we intercept any other message fragments?”

“Of course,” Miranda answered. They both looked to Traynor expectantly.

Traynor stood a little taller, unable to hide the hint of a smile on her lips. “I’ll get my things Captain. I’ll need to bring EDI. She’s what I’ve been using to run all of the decryption.”

Miranda nodded her approval.

“Then let’s get moving people,” Ashley ordered. Traynor rushed off to prepare and Ashley and Liara headed for the door.

Shepard turned to Miranda. “Will you come with us?”

Miranda smiled, a dose of sadness in her look as he met Shepard’s eyes. “No. I can do more for you here running interference with Hackett.” She took Shepard’s hand, placing a small device in her palm and closing Shepard’s fingers around it. “This will allow you to reach me from anywhere securely, if you need anything.”

Shepard nodded. “Thanks. For everything,” she added softly.

Miranda forced the sadness from her smile.

Liara was waiting by the door, watching and trying not to be bothered by Miranda touching Shepard. She was unsuccessful, as evidenced by the scowl on her face that refused to disappear. Shepard walked towards her, giving her a reassuring smile.

As they turned to leave together Miranda’s voice called, “Liara, could I speak with you a moment?”

Liara froze, casting an openly hostile glance over her shoulder. Miranda’s face was unreadable.

Shepard leaned in and mumbled, “I’ll see you back on the ship,” kissed her cheek quickly and was gone.

The room had emptied of the scientists and with Shepard’s departure, they were the only two people left in the room. Neither made a move to close the gaping distance between them. Liara folded her arms in a posture of defiance she’d seen Shepard use so effectively over the years. “You have something to say?” she prompted into the stalemate of silence.

“I’ve treated you unfairly. I realize that now,” Miranda said.

Liara was unmoved.

Finally Miranda sighed, running a hand through her dark hair. “In truth, I realized it quite a while ago but it was much easier to be angry than repentant. I know I only amplified what was already great pain you were experiencing. I had my reasons, but they don’t matter now. I was wrong. And I’m sorry.”

After a long moment Liara spoke, “Jess will trust you again. I will not.” She used her first name on purpose, to exert her level of intimacy with Shepard over Miranda. It was childish and she knew it, but it felt good all the same.

Miranda nodded. “I expected as much.”

“However,” Liara paused, the hard stare she’d been holding wavering for a moment before returning, “I can agree to put aside our hostilities for the sake of working together.”

Miranda nodded, taking a few steps towards Liara then holding her hand out, palm up, revealing a round data disc.

“You should take this.”

“What is it?”

“All of the records, documents and recorded images from the brain activity monitoring we performed during Shepard’s recovery. All except one, which I’ve already destroyed.”

Liara took the disc. “Why give it to me and not Shepard?”

“She trusts you more than she trusts herself.”

Liara studied Miranda a moment before tucking the data disc away. If Miranda was expecting a thank you she wasn’t going to give it to her. Instead she nodded and left.

###

Liara returned to the Normandy completely distracted. Each step made her more unsettled. Her anger at Miranda had been a constant for the past nine months. The fact that the former Cerberus agent had just apologized and admitted she was wrong had her emotions in turmoil. Without a target she expected her feelings of panic, frustration and helplessness that had consumed her as she searched for Shepard after the Normandy returned to Earth would dissipate but instead they surged through her unchecked. It also brought another old feeling boiling dangerously to the surface. Something all too familiar and frightening. Rage. A blinding, uncontrollable rage.

She found herself standing in the unmoving elevator without memory of how she’d gotten there. She checked her omni-tool and found Shepard on deck three in the first officer’s quarters… her old quarters.

When she stepped inside the first thing she noticed was the familiar sound of Garrus’s voice over the com. She found Shepard seated with her booted feet propped up on the desk, chuckling at something Garrus had said. Shepard looked up at the sound of Liara entering and smiled, although the smile faded the longer she studied the Asari in the doorway.

“Garrus I gotta go. We’ll talk when we reach the coordinates,” Shepard said, signing off and letting her feet drop to the floor.

Liara hadn’t moved from where she’d stopped just inside the door. Shepard stood slowly, watching her. Liara seemed unaware that blue tendrils of her biotic field were swirling dangerously around her.

“Liara, are you ok?” Shepard asked in a calm voice. She took a step towards Liara and her biotics snapped like electricity in response.

“I’m… angry.” She responded through gritted teeth. She shook her head, “So angry with you.”

Shepard continued in her calm voice, “I know. You’ve tried very hard to hide it from me but I know. Since Illium I’ve known.” She took another cautious step towards her. “And I know that’s not all. You’ve hated me.”

Liara’s biotics flared again in answer. “I hated you for making me leave the Normandy. Making me leave you to die. I hated you for coming back and seeing what I’d become. I hated you for forcing me to leave you again on Earth. But most of all I hate everyone else for their weakness. For relying on you to save them. Relying on you, the woman I love, to sacrifice herself for them. And I hated you for doing it.”

“I know,” Shepard said calmly, taking another step. She was close now, just beyond where the blue arcs crackled around Liara’s body.

Liara shook her head, tears pouring down her cheeks. “How can you hate someone and love them so fiercely at the same time?” she pleaded in a whisper.

Shepard shrugged gently, “Maybe one only comes with the other. Is there more?”

Liara nodded, painfully, the tears increasing. “I hate myself. I hate that I’ll never ask you to stop. That I’ll never ask you not to jump into the void. I know it’s a part of who you are. And if I love you, how can I ask you to change something so integral to you?”

“Ask me,” Shepard whispered. She reached out gently, the biotic field retreating as her hands got closer until they disappeared and Shepard closed her hands around Liara’s shoulders. Liara looked away, the tears continued to fall. Shepard reach down, lifting Liara’s chin until their eyes met. “Ask me and we’ll leave now and never look back.”

Liara closed her eyes, tight, and sunk into Shepard’s arms. Her Jess. Her life. Her home. She felt the comfort of Jess’s arms closing around her, the strong beat of Jess’s heart against her own, the familiar scent of her. The rage and hate receded and all that remained was the buzz of relief. She’d let everything she’d feared about herself go, let loose everything she thought sure would push Shepard away and somehow still, she found herself in her arms.

After a long time, Liara pulled back slightly, far enough to wipe her cheeks and look into the piercing blue eyes she adored. “Are we leaving?” Shepard asked, her gaze was open and unassuming. Liara knew then that she held the power in that moment to alter their course. Shepard was trusting her with their future. And in that trust she found the certainty of her answer.

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

“You’re sure?”

Blue eyes met blue and held, “I’m sure.”

Shepard nodded. “Kiss me?”

Liara smiled through tears and eagerly complied.


	20. Chapter 20

“We’re approaching the rendezvous coordinates Captain,” Joker’s voice said over the com.

Shepard was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling her boots on. “Roger that Joker, we’ll be right there.” Shepard glanced over at Liara. She had her back to her, snapping the latches on her jacket. The memories of their recent bonding both metal and physical came flooding back and Shepard smiled.

As tumultuous as the last few weeks had been for them, she felt as if some real healing was beginning. She’d known Liara was holding back. Had been holding back since her first escape from death, when they met again on Illium. She’d guessed at what was haunting her long ago. But pushing issues with Liara had never been a successful tact. The Asari was young and still needed to find her way through her emotions on her own. Shepard could only stand through the storms when they arrived, knowing they’d both be stronger once they passed. In truth, Liara had been so focused on being there for Shepard over the last few weeks that she took it as a good sign that the tables had turned slightly. Maybe they were making progress. Maybe they were moving forward. Maybe there was a future beyond the war.

“How did you know?” Liara’s voice broke into her musing.

Shepard stood and walked over to her, wrapping her arms around her from behind and resting her chin on the Asari’s shoulder. “How did I know what?”

“Earlier, you said you knew what I’d been feeling since Illium.” Liara turned so she could see Shepard’s profile. “How did you know?”

“You mean how did I know without you sharing it when we were joined?”

Liara looked regretful for having held something so important back when Shepard had laid out all of her pains and misgivings to her. She nodded.

Shepard smiled and placed a soft kiss on Liara’s cheek. “You don’t get to be the Savior of the Galaxy without knowing a little bit about reading people’s emotions.”

Liara looked embarrassed. “I suppose not. I’m sorry.”

Shepard turned her in her arms so she could look into her eyes. “Liara don’t. Nothing about the last four years has been remotely easy. What matters to me now is that we’re ok.”

Liara smiled softly and nodded. She kissed Shepard fleetingly. “We’re ok.”

###

Shepard and Liara joined Ashley in the cockpit looking out over Joker’s shoulder. Traynor was seated in the co-pilot’s seat, monitoring for any communications to intercept.

“Report?” Shepard asked.

“We’re just outside the coordinates. No ships on the scanners,” Joker answered.

“No traces of Redeemer signature communication,” Traynor added.

“Now we wait,” Shepard said.

“I prefer ‘now we drink’,” Joker countered.

“Now we wait… quietly,” Shepard amended, giving him a stern look.

“Great. Miranda brought you back this time without a sense of humor. Perfect,” he mumbled.

They didn’t have to wait long. A ship dropped out of FTL soon after, setting Joker’s sensors on alert. Shepard, Ashley and Liara leaned forward to get a closer look.

“Turian Cruiser, M-Class,” Joker informed them.

“If you want to blend into the crowd that’s the ship you want. It’s the most common class of small FTL ships out there,” Liara added. She should know. She had her own parked back at the Citadel.

“No distinguishing marks or signatures,” Joker informed them.

“A little carbon scoring but that’s nothing unusual these days,” Ashley added.

The cruiser drifted into the rendezvous coordinate space and stopped.

“Any signals or communications signatures?” Shepard asked Traynor.

The Specialist shook her head, fingers flying fast over her screens, “No ma’am. Nothing.”

“What the hell is that?” Joker said, straining against his seat harness.

They all leaned forward, craning to see out the top window. A large gray mass sliced through space over them towards the cruiser.

Joker’s fingers were moving across his screens. “No signature. It’s silent, like us. Doesn’t match any know vessel class.”

“Where did it come from?” Liara asked.

“I don’t know. According to the sensors, it’s still not there,” Joker responded. “This is the benefit of windows people. If the Geth were still around I’d send them a memo.”

They watched as the large vessel drifted in close to the cruiser. It was as big as the Normandy but it’s design was unfamiliar. It was the shape of an arrow head with sharp angles and smooth flat sides. It was gunmetal gray but covered in what looked like dark red stains. The rear pulsed with blue energy from the massive propulsion system. It managed to look dangerous yet ancient.

“It looks old. What’s that red stuff? It looks kind of like blood,” Ash said. Then quickly, “God, please tell me it’s not blood.”

“It’s not blood,” Traynor stated. Then, “At least I hope it’s not,” she added under her breath.

Shepard felt a tingle at the back of her neck and reached up to rub it unconsciously. Liara noticed her distraction and was about to ask about it when Ashley interrupted.

“Look, it’s opening! Joker prepare weapons!”

Shepard bit back a countermanding order on the tip of her tongue. She reminded herself that Ashley was ultimately in command of the Normandy now. “Let’s see what it does,” Shepard suggested instead.

The cruiser drifted inside the larger ship and the door promptly closed. Shepard glanced at Traynor, “Anything?”

“There was something, it was very brief. A quick burst just as the door opened and again as it shut. Isolating now.” Traynor tapped a few keys, then a scratchy static filled the air. It lasted three seconds, then stopped. “Here’s the second one.” Another burst of noise.

Ashley pushed off Joker’s seat, throwing her hands up, “It’s static.”

But Liara was watching Shepard, who had paled considerably. She touched Shepard’s arm, drawing her eyes. “What is it?”

Shepard looked to the gray ship, then back at Liara, “It’s Prothean.”

Her eyes widened and her gaze slid back to the ship out of the window. “How is that possible?” To Joker, “Are you reading any life signs?”

“Two from the cruiser, but nothing on the Prothean ship,” Joker answered. “But then again according to the sensors the Prothean ship isn’t even there so… yeah, take those readings with a few grains of salt.”

“What did the static mean?” Liara asked Shepard.

“Basically open and close commands. Very simple.”

“Like remote commands,” Traynor piped up. They all looked at her. She turned towards them in her seat. “Remote functions are kept very simple by design. Maybe it’s unmanned and being controlled from elsewhere.”

“Can you trace the ‘elsewhere’?” Ashley asked.

Traynor turned back to her station, fingers moving again. “I’ll try.”

Shepard turned to leave to cockpit but Liara caught her arm, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to board that ship,” Shepard answered.

“Captain!” Joker called her attention back to the action outside. The door on the Prothean ship was rising again and the cruiser drifted out. “The cruiser is priming it’s FTL drive.”

“They could have the bomb on board. We can’t loose them,” Ashley warned.

“Ash you take the Normandy and stay on that cruiser. I’m going to check out that Prothean ship. It might lead us to the ones pulling the strings on this operation. I want the Redeemers shut down once and for all.”

“We don’t know anything about what’s in there,” Liara protested.

“Exactly,” Shepard said. “Are you coming or not?”

Liara looked to Ashley for help.

“If you’re going you better get moving. I’m not loosing these bastards.” Ashley was focused on the cruiser.

Shepard turned to Traynor, “You up for a little adventure, Specialist?”

Traynor turned quickly in her seat, eyes wide.

“I’m going to need someone to get that door open and closed and there’s no telling what kind of technology we might encounter in there. I could use your expertise,” Shepard explained.

“I… yes, right away Captain,” she stammered, looking stricken between excitement and terror.

“Good, bring our friend in the black box,” she motioned to the case that contained System 343 that was plugged into her console. Shepard looked to Liara, “You and Traynor head to the shuttle bay, I’ll meet you there.”

Before Liara could argue, Shepard was gone.


	21. Chapter 21

Samantha Traynor felt a sudden pang of fear jolt her as she watched the Normandy disappear after the cruiser from the window of the shuttle. As if sensing her discomfort, Shepard let her hand rest firmly on Traylor’s shoulder. It had the effect the Captain intended, focusing her attention back on the alien ship eclipsing their shuttle.

Cortez was in the pilot seat with Traynor seated next to him. Shepard and Liara stood behind them. All eyes were on the area of the Prothean ship where they had seen the cruiser enter and exit.

“I’m going to try sending back the open command we recorded,” Traynor explained. After a moment, the static noise filled the cabin. It had no affect. “Modulating frequency,” Traynor stated. The static again. Liara watched as Shepard tilted her head, knowing she heard something different than the rest of them. The ship remained unchanged. Traynor frowned.

“Cortez, take us right up to the door,” Shepard instructed. He followed her orders and once they were drifting mere meters from the hulking ship she signaled Traynor to try again. The burst of static followed. Nothing. Then after a moments pause the red-stained metal plating of the door in front of them began to move, sliding open. It revealed a cavernous interior, void of any other equipment or movement. “Take us in Cortez.”

Shepard had Traynor close the door once the shuttle was maneuvered and settled inside. They all stared, waiting.

“Sensors report sustainable life support. No life signs. No movement. There seems to be a power signature forward of our position,” Cortez reported.

“Ok,” Shepard began, “Traylor make sure Cortez has the door commands in case we need a speedy exit. Then gather EDI and suit up. We’re going to see if we can find out who’s running this thing.”

###

They made their way up a series of catwalks, following Traynor’s directions as she traced the power signature via her omni-tool. The entire interior of the ship appeared to be not much more than a shell. The walls and floors showed evidence of being stripped of materials and equipment it had once held. The other detail of note was age. Though the overall structure was in tact, the material looked brittle in places and the air, though circulating through some kind of ventilation system, was stale and smelled of metallic dust. The red staining evident on the exterior was also present in the interior covering almost every surface.

Liara scanned an area of the staining with her omni-tool. “It’s volcanic,” she commented.

“Volcanic?” Shepard repeated.

“Yes, I’ve seen this type of staining before at dig sites. It’s from prolonged exposure to volcanic activity. The extensive coverage indicates exposure over thousands of years, ultimately weakening of the structure.”

Traynor led them out of the cavernous catwalks and into a dark corridor as they traveled further forward. “Not much further,” she whispered. There was no one around to hear them, but the ghostly empty echo of the ship and the general unknown had them all on edge. An entryway became visible and Shepard took point, assault rifle at the ready just in case. As they moved closer a red, pulsing glow could be seen coming from the room ahead.

The room was a control center, what appeared to be the cockpit for the vessel. It was small and triangular, situated at the tip of the arrowhead shape of the ship. Control panels lining the front were rectangular surfaces with what looked like thick black liquid shimmered on the surface. The red glow pulsed in the room.

Traynor studied the reflective surface of the control panels thoughtfully. “These appear very similar to the interfaces Javik used on the Normandy.” She scanned with her omni-tool. “This liquid is a biometric conductive gel with a continuous current.”

“So you know how to use it?” Shepard asked.

Traynor frowned, “No. All it ever did for me was tickle.” At their puzzled look she elaborated. “The current in the gel provides a little tingle when you touch it but to humans that seems to be all.”

“The Protheans use biometric current as a key component of communication, given what we’ve seen of the beacons, memory shards and even Javik’s initial communications with you Shepard,” Liara said. “It would then make sense that their ship controls are a similar mix of technology and biology.”

Shepard glance around, brow furrowed, rubbing her scar absently. “Is it just me or are these flashes getting faster.”

Liara and Traynor stopped to take notice. Traynor brought up her omni-tool and began typing. “There’s a low pulse signal in here. Let me see if I can…”

The sound of static filled the small space loudly, bursting with the pulse of the red light. Liara cringed as the sound filled the small space and looked to Shepard for some explanation. The look she found on Shepard’s face made her stomach drop.

“It’s a count down,” Shepard said.

“Count down to what?” Traynor asked.

“Self destruct,” Shepard said.

“We have to move! Back to the shuttle,” Liara shouted over the static bursts.

“No time,” Shepard said grimly, moving suddenly to the black liquid panels. “Cortez,” she said into her com, “get the shuttle a safe distance from the ship. Now.”

“Roger that Captain,” she heard Cortez’s voice come back. But her focus was on the panels.

“Shepard, what…” Liara began but she stopped as Shepard plunged her hands into the black liquid. Her body went rigid. When Liara rushed to her she saw that Shepard’s eyes were glowing an electric green, exactly as they had on Eden Prime when interfacing with the Prothean controls when they recovered Javik.

The red pulse and static bursts were becoming frenetically close together now.

“Shepard?” Liara called but she got no verbal response.

Instead Shepard’s hands began to move through the liquid panels. The pulses were increasing in frequency exponentially. Liara and Traynor traded concerned looks. Then suddenly, the pulses stopped and the red glow receded.

Traynor exhaled a sigh of relief.

Liara went back to Shepard, touching her arm and calling her name quietly.

After a moment, Shepard withdrew her hands from the liquid panels and blinked, her eyes returning to their normal blue color and focusing on Liara. Her lips spread into a lopsided grin. “I think I can fly this thing.”


	22. Chapter 22

Traynor was elbow deep in the innards of a panel in the wall of the Prothean ship cockpit when Shepard returned, having swept the remainder of the ship to make sure it was in fact empty. Liara was busily tapping on her omni-tool but looked up anxiously when Shepard entered.

“All clear,” Shepard reported. “It’s definitely old. The interior hull is showing stress fractures. Any news from the Normandy?”

“Ashley says the cruiser has dropped into orbit around Mars. No doubt biding their time,” Liara informed her.

“Ok, tell her to sit on them as long as she can. Ideally we’ll find out who’s behind all of this before we take out the cruiser. I don’t want to tip our hand unless we have to.”

Liara nodded and went back to her omni-tool.

Shepard dropped down next to Traynor. “Any luck?”

The Specialist was sweating and had streaks of the red dust on her face, but her dark eyes were bright and focused. “I think so yes. I’ve found a point in the system where the biometric leads transition into more typical connective points. Well, more typical by our standards. I think I’ve managed to connect EDI so she can monitor both the biometric leads and responsive connective commands.”

“And that means…?” Shepard asked, rubbing her scar.

“As you navigate using the biometric panels, EDI will be able to monitor how those affect the ship and be able to build a base or a translation of the biometric controls.”

“So after enough inputs are registered EDI will have a basic understanding of the inputs and responses of the system and will be able to take over navigation?” Liara asked.

“Correct.”

“Good,” Shepard said standing. “How much more time do you need?”

“Not long.”

Liara stepped next to Shepard. “Ashley is good to go. Garrus’s ship has picked up Cortez and is standing by to follow our lead as backup.”

Shepard nodded in approval. “As long as they give us some room. Whoever we find will be spooked enough that the ship is returning rather than having self destructed. I don’t want them following too closely.”

Liara nodded in understanding.

Traynor popped up from the floor and dusted her knees. “Alright Captain, let’s give it a try, shall we?”

Shepard walked to the black liquid panels and flexed her fingers. She felt Liara step close to her. “Does it hurt?” she asked quietly.

Shepard looked at her, her brow wrinkling in thought. “It feels weird. Always has. But it’s different than the beacons. It takes a lot out of me but no, it doesn’t hurt.”

Liara glanced in Traynor’s direction and finding her fiddling with wires again with her back to them, she lifted to her toes and planted a gentle kiss on Shepard’s lips. “For luck,” she whispered.

“System 343, Enhanced Defense Intelligence online,” EDI’s voice filled the small space.

“Do you think this ship will hold together under the stress of FTL travel?” Liara asked.

“Only one way to find out,” Shepard said, her hands hovering over the panels. “Here we go.”

She pushed her fingers into the liquid, her body filling with tension, her eyes glowing a cool green. After a moment, her body relaxed slightly as she adjusted and her fingers began moving with purpose.

“EDI I think I’ve found the navigation system and I’m… retracing the coordinates to the origin point,” Shepard said. It was difficult to speak while connected to the Prothean biometric system. It was like holding multiple complex conversations at once in the midst of a loud room while also making sure you don’t hit the red button that could vaporize them all. It required complete focus.

“Tracing input patterns,” EDI responded.

“Initiating propulsion systems,” Shepard said.

A loud groan echoed through the ancient ship as if it was complaining about having to move again. Liara and Traynor traded concerned looks.

“Coordinates locked. Engines online,” Shepard said. Sweat was breaking out on her brow. “Engaging engines now.”

The entire interior of the room was suddenly filled with a blue glow. The ship groaned again loudly and sounded like it might break apart from the strain. The entire ship shuddered violently and the stars out of the window began to streak and blur until the blue glow enveloped the outside of the ship as well.

“Tracing input patterns,” EDI said.

Liara held on as the deck bucked under her feet. Shepard remarkably remained standing, hands still moving in the liquid panels. Traynor gripped the console white knuckled, just trying to stay on her feet and not vomit from fear.

“Tracing input patterns,” EDI said again. “Ship hull integrity is nominal.”

“Will it hold together?” Liara shouted to EDI over the roar of the chaos around them.

“Unknown,” was EDI’s response.

Liara glanced at Shepard, standing remarkably still as the entire ship vibrated violently around them, her eyes glowing and staring into some unseen Prothean interface. The ship groaned and screeched as the vibrations increased. Liara closed her eyes, sending out a prayer to the Goddess, certain they were about to be sucked into the vacuum of space.

Then just as suddenly, it stopped. The shaking, the bucking, the blue glow all receded to a quiet, subtle drift.

“We’re here,” Shepard said, looking out into space with her glowing eyes.

It was then Liara noticed the view out of the window was now filled with the mottled surface of a planet. “Where are we?” she asked.

“This can’t be right.” Traynor’s sweaty brow was furrowed as she tapped quickly on her console that was connected to EDI.

“What is it?” Liara asked, pushing back to her feet and coming to stand behind her.

“According to these readings we’re in the Horace System in orbit around a planet called Voltanis.”

“That’s impossible,” Liara said, shaking her head. “The Horace system is on the other side of the Galaxy.”

“I know. EDI can you check these readings? What is our location?”

“Location: Horace System. Travel Distance: 350,000 light years. Nearest planetary body: Voltanis.” EDI confirmed. “Voltanis is the third planetary body from this systems sun. While several thousand years ago the planet was capable of sustaining life, the violent volcanic activity has since polluted the atmosphere to the point of rendering the sulfur levels too high to sustain life.”

“This ship originated from down there,” Shepard said. She had removed her hands from the liquid panels and was leaning, exhausted and pale against the edge.

“Are you alright?” Liara asked.

Shepard gave her a weak smile and nodded.

“It is highly unlikely that any life forms on the surface are responsible for the launching of this vessel,” EDI’s voice.

“Well, something launched it from down there,” Shepard responded.

“Scans are showing high amounts of sulfur dioxide in the atmosphere,” Traynor reported. “Much too high to sustain any known life form. However, it would explain all of the red staining and dust evident on and in the ship.”

“How did we jump 350,000 light years without mass relays?” Liara asked.

“This vessels engines appear to provide a mass effect bubble that, given exact spatial coordinates, can transport the vessel to the desired location. No mass effect relays are needed. The ship provides the mass effect space as it travels,” EDI explained.

“How is that possible without ripping the ship apart?” Traynor asked.

“It certainly sounded like that’s exactly what it almost did,” Liara commented.

“Hull integrity is below optimal,” was EDI’s answer.

“Well, I’m sure we left Garrus scratching his scarred head over that one,” Shepard mumbled.

“We’re on our own,” Liara said grimly.

Shepard nodded, her gaze steeling. “Then lets do what we came here for.” She turned back to the control panels and sunk her hands into the liquid again.

“Input pattern trace 57% complete, Captain,” EDI informed them.

“Good, keep tracing EDI,” Liara said as Shepard focused.

The ship let out a loud groan again as they began to enter the atmosphere. It gave a few shudders but seemed to hold together as they finally broke through and got their first look at the planet surface. It was black and red with large rifts and equally enormous mountains. As they dropped closer, it became obvious that the mountains we in fact volcanoes. Active ones, spewing ash, smoke and boiling lava onto the surface, constantly reshaping it. The landscape was barren with no sign of water or oceans and equally desolate of plant life or any signs of life at all.

“It’s a wasteland,” Liara muttered. “Who could exist in this environment?”

“We’re about to find out,” Traynor said under her breath.

Shepard had sweat dripping off her brow as she concentrated, the muscles along her jaw bunched tight.

The ship dipped lower into the atmosphere and turned towards one of the towering volcanoes. Shepard steered them straight towards the sheer walls, showing no signs of changing course.

“Shepard…” Liara started, “there’s a giant volcano in front of us.”

“I know,” she said.

“You’re flying us straight towards it,” she said, her voice filling with alarm as the rock wall filled their field of view.

“I know,” she said.

“EDI, pattern trace report,” Traynor said.

“Input pattern trace at 75%,” EDI responded.

Traynor and Liara exchanged frightened looks.

“Shepard, we’re going to crash into that volcano if you don’t change course now!” Liara said, gripping Shepard’s arm. Shepard didn’t respond, her glowing eyes seeing something beyond the fast approaching wall of solid rock. “Jess!” she pleaded.

But it was too late. Traynor screamed and covered her face. Liara clutched Shepard’s arm and shut her eyes, her last thought before impact that at least they were together to face death this time.

But when the horrible crash and sweeping fire of death didn’t come, she pried her eyes open again and found that they were inside a dark, cavernous tunnel illuminated by rivers of lava flowing through them. She glanced at Shepard, her eyes still aglow, a small smile on her lips.

“Input trace complete. Assuming piloting controls.”

EDI’s voice made Traynor slowly drop her hands, peaking from between her fingers. As she recognized that they were not in fact dead, she let out a huge sigh. “Bloody hell. I think I’m ready to go back to the labs now,” she muttered weakly.

Shepard withdrew her hands from the liquid, her eyes returning to normal, her shoulders slumping. She blinked, her vision adjusting. “EDI just follow the charted coordinates. See where it takes us.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Everyone ok?” Shepard asked, noticing Liara was still clutching her arm tightly.

Liara met her eyes, relieved to see the familiar dazzling blue and released her vise grip, taking a deep breath and nodding.

They all turned their attention to the massive system of tunnels they were now being navigated through. While at first the tunnel walls were of seemingly naturally formed rock and lava, as the ship headed deeper the walls became smooth and seemed to glow an iridescent blue-green.

“That doesn’t seem natural,” Liara commented.

“While powered by the natural thermal energy of the planet core, this system of tunnels is artificially illuminated,” EDI supplied. “Destination coordinates ahead.”

The ship slowed to a drift. Liara’s eyes widened in disbelief as she stared out of the window. “Shepard…” she said in astonishment. Shepard was staring as well. Like they had seen on Ilos the walls of the tunnel were now covered with Prothean stasis pods. But unlike Ilos, these were all still powered… and empty.

The tunnel widened into a cavernous room. The ship slowed to a crawl and settled to a stop on a large, flat surface in the center. The ship creaked ominously as it came to rest.

No one moved, still taking it all in.

“Sensors are being actively blocked,” EDI told them.

“Life signs?” Shepard asked quietly.

“Inconclusive,” EDI responded. “However, despite the surface conditions, the air and gravitational force in this area appears to be stable and within safety parameters.”

“Are you saying it’s breathable out there?” Liara asked incredulously.

“Yes,” EDI answered.

“I’m not sure if that’s good news or horribly terrifying news,” Traynor said.

“Movement detected,” EDI notified.

Shepard studied the walls of the cavern. Along the base in the darkness, she began to sense movement. Figures seemed to be approaching. Hundreds of them. They spread out, surrounding the ship. As they got closer, Shepard felt Liara’s grip on her arm tighten again.

“Shepard, can it be possible? There are hundreds of them,” she said, her voice in awe.

Shepard nodded, unable to quite believe it herself. But it became clear as they approached and came to a stop surrounding the ship. There in front of them were hundreds of living Protheans.

“I’ll be damn…” Shepard’s words were cut off as a violent blue current flooded the cockpit rendering all three occupants unconscious.


	23. Chapter 23

“Shepard?” The voice calling her name seemed very far away. It echoed, bouncing around in her consciousness. “Shepard, open those baby blues… come on Captain…”

As Shepard drifted towards consciousness she felt a sudden overwhelming need for oxygen. Without warning she rocketed into a seated position gasping for breath, glancing around frantically. Certain she was in the Keeper tunnel on the Citadel it took her a moment to register the fact that instead of dead bodies it was Traynor, looking alive but frightened, staring back at her. Another few gasps and it started to come back to her. Protheans!

“Liara?” she wheezed, looking questionably at Traynor.

“Here,” came the weak call not far away. Liara was pushing herself up off of the volcanic rock floor, shaking her head as if to clear it.

“Are you alright? Is everyone alright?” Shepard asked. After receiving nods from Liara and Traynor she began to take in their surroundings. They were in a small room, not much more than a cave or alcove carved in the rock. The red dust they’d seen staining the ship was everywhere and covering them now as well. The space was warm, the heat coming through the rock and the little light there was came from the same green-blue lighting they’d seen in the tunnel flying in. They had been stripped of their armor and omni-tools, leaving them in their light cover clothing that served as the protective layer between suit and skin.

Shepard looked to the opening of the space they were confined in and saw that the exit was blocked by a slowly pulsing blue energy field.

“Any idea what happened?” Shepard asked. They were all seated on the floor now. No point in standing because of the low ceilings and the fact that there was nowhere to go in the small space.

“Some sort of electrical pulse weapon perhaps. It rendered us unconscious,” Liara supplied.

“Did everyone else see hundreds of Protheans or did I imagine that part?” Traynor asked.

“I can assure you, that was very real,” a voice boomed from the entrance.

Shepard’s attention snapped to the blue energy field, now finding a large silhouette watching them. She pushed herself to stand as best she could, still having to duck her head against the low ceiling.

“I’m Captain Shepard from the…”

“I know who you are human,” the voice said, filled with annoyance. “You and your companions.”

Shepard’s usual intimidation tactics were hampered by not being able to stand up straight as well as the fact that her head was filled with the dull roar of pain. “Who are you?” she demanded with as much menace as she could muster.

“That is of no concern to you human.” The Prothean pronounced human with a great deal of distaste. “Your reckoning will be soon enough. In the meantime, you should be comfortable in this cave, primitives.” With that he walked away and they appeared to be alone again.

A rumble echoed through the tunnels and made the ground under them shudder. The red dust rained down heavily before it all subsided.

Traynor wiped the dust off her shoulders, “Charming.”

“I’d forgotten the obvious distaste Javick showed in the beginning for all of us _primitives_ ,” Liara grumbled. “It seems these Protheans feel the same.”

“If that ship originated from here, that means the Protheans are behind the Redeemer attacks,” Shepard pronounced.

“It would make sense given the complexity of the encryption,” Traynor speculated.

“But why?” Liara asked. “To what end?”

“That’s what I intend to find out,” Shepard rumbled darkly.

It seemed like hours passed without any further contact. Shepard had tried pacing a number of times, only managing to bump her head and spew a colorful stream of explicatives Liara only half understood and made Traynor blush.

Finally Liara pulled firmly on Shepard’s hand, forcing her to sit. “Save your strength.” She began to calmly stroke the soft skin at the back of Shepard’s neck, kneading the muscles strung tight with tension. Shepard was helpless against the caress as it soothed the pounding in her head. Liara cast her a knowing smile and patted her lap. Shepard thought of resisting but the Asari’s fingers just felt so damn good that she gave in and stretched out, laying her head in Liara’s lap, her eyes slipping closed as the magic fingers continued their work.

Traynor was idly drawing a chess board in the red dust that covered the floor lost in her own thoughts.

Liara glanced down at Shepard, studying the smooth planes of her face, the arch of her eyebrows, the small scar. She found a soft smile tugging at her lips. It was amazing the strength of feeling this woman stirred in her. From the first moment she’d seen her she’d been captivated, even through the panic and fear and confusion, not to mention the blue barrier. Liara looked up at the blue barrier keeping her prisoner now. She had dedicated a large portion of her life thus far to the study of the people now holding them prisoner. The same people that it now appeared had plotted to kill her and had killed hundreds of others. How could she have been so fooled? Was she blind? How could she have missed the aggressive, unforgiving dominance these people wielded as a way of life. She closed her eyes. _Foolish_ , she thought, _young, naive and foolish_. Despite her best efforts a tear slid down her cheek.

When she opened her eyes and looked down again she was surprised to see the clear blue orbs of Shepard’s eyes watching her. Her gaze was one of compassion. She reached up and caught the stray tear then gently caressed her face. They traded smiles and Shepard let her eyes slide closed again.

It was the sound of footsteps that alerted them first. Shepard scrambled to her feet and stood as close as she dared to the blue barrier. Liara and Traynor followed, standing at her sides. Three Protheans approached. One in front, two following close behind. They stopped on the opposite side of the barrier and faced off against their captives.

The leader of the group was shorter than the other two but still held an air of strength and command. He looked much as Shepard remembered Javik looking only perhaps older with deeper ridges and folds in his skin. The eyes that studied her in silence were dark but held obvious intelligence. After a long moment, the blue barrier suddenly disappeared. No one moved. The lead Prothean’s penetrating gaze shifted from Shepard, to Traynor, to Liara and back to Shepard.

“You are Shepard,” his thick voice said, echoing off the walls of the cavern around them. “I am Kovas.”

“Are you in charge here?” Shepard asked, keeping her voice strong and steady.

“I am one, yes,” Kovas answered. “You will follow me now.”

Without waiting for a response he turned and began walking down the corridor. Shepard glanced quickly at the two Prothean guards watching them with obvious annoyance, then nodded to Liara and Traynor as they followed Kovas. The guards brought up the rear of the group. They were led through several twists and turns of the tunnels until they exited into the enormous cavern where they had landed.

Veins of the blue-green light that threaded along the walls of the cavern provided light. The hulking gray mass of the ship that had brought them here was still parked to their right where they had landed. To the left was the overwhelming sight of hundreds of Protheans all gathered, watching their every move as they followed Kovas. Each face was slightly different but all held a look of hostility mixed with disgust. A few here and there Shepard thought might hold a remote inkling of curiosity but the sense from the crowd was overwhelmingly threatening.

Kovas led them to the center of the cavern floor where a grouping of two other Protheans sat above the rest in a curved, raised dais. There were three spots and Shepard surmised that Kovas held the seat that appeared empty. Kovas stopped in front of the dais, turning and eying the prisoners, pinning them in place, then took his place in the third seat. Shepard recognized the hulking figure in the far left seat as the Prothean that had come to visit them first. He watched them with open disgust. In the center, in a larger and slightly taller of the three seats, a Prothean with strange gray eyes and withered skin watched them carefully.

The murmur of the crowd grew quiet and Shepard squared her shoulders, meeting the judgmental gazes of each of these Prothean leaders, finally resting on the one in the center seat.

“You are the human Shepard, leader of the resistance against the Reapers,” the central, older Prothean said. His voice held the rasp of age but still filled the cavern clearly.

“I’m Shepard,” she answered. “And you are?”

“I am Yarus, Vanguard of Wisdom for what remains of the Prothean empire.”

“We are the Vanguards of the greatest empire this galaxy has ever known,” the large Prothean said.

The approving voices of the crowd rose in unison.

“We are what is left of it, Goren. Do not mistake where we are now with what we were then,” Kovas said addressing the larger Prothean.

Goren began to stand and protest but was halted by the quiet raised hand of the elder Yarus. “We are here for another purpose,” he chastised.

“You have been coordinating attacks across the galaxy. Is that the purpose of the great Prothean Empire? To attack from the shadows? To murder innocents?” Shepard challenged.

The crowd erupted in outrage. Goren seethed, shoving a threatening finger at Shepard. “Silence primitive! Before I take pleasure in silencing you myself.”

“We primitives managed to do what you Protheans and countless other cycles could never accomplish. We defeated the Reapers. If you think a few hundred of a dead race that crawl out of hiding after the hard work has been done will intimidate us you’re sorely mistaken.”

Goren rose ready to launch at Shepard but the rich sound of Yarus’ laughter stopped him and silenced the protest of the crowd. “Goren your blood runs hot,” he said. “So hot you do not see that the human goads you as she wishes.” His chuckle continued a moment before becoming silent. The gray eyes studied Shepard with guarded curiosity.

Shepard turned her full attention to Yarus. “What is it you want? What do you hope to achieve with these attacks?”

Kovas answered in a calm even tone. “We seek to rebuild our empire.”

“You seek to rebuild by fear. You wish to divide us in order to conquer us, as you did in the past,” Liara said as understanding dawned.

“We seek to unite the galaxy under one rule. Our rule.”

“By any means necessary?” Shepard added.

Kovas looked genuinely puzzled. “What matters is the goal. Once reached, how the goal was achieved is quickly forgotten.”

“The strength of the galaxy will once again be united under Prothean rule, as it should be,” Goren added through gritted teeth.

Shepard spread her arms out, indicating those in attendance around them. “It served you so well in the past as evidenced by the few hundred of you cowering in caves at the edge of the galaxy,” she said sarcastically.

“We have survived. Against all odds we have survived and we will rebuild the empire for which our people fought and perished to preserve,” Goren rebuked.

“You are not the only Protheans to survive,” Shepard said with deliberate nonchalance.

This stopped them.

“We recovered a Prothean from a stasis pod on Eden Prime. His name is Javik,” Liara provided.

“Vanguard of Vengeance,” Kovas said, obviously startled by this revelation.

“Yes, and avenge he did. By fighting along side us against the Reapers,” Shepard said.

“Javik would never join with primitives. He merely used you,” Goren said with a dismissive wave.

“You don’t have to take my word for it. Share his experiences through me,” Shepard offered.

“What you ask can be dangerous for your kind,” Kovas warned, though he was obviously intrigued.

“What do you care, you would have me dead anyway. Besides, I’m not as fragile as you might think. I have survived your beacons, I have received your cipher, and I was read by Javik. Javik became my comrade in arms against the Reapers. He accepted me as his commander and these other _primitives_ as his allies. His equals. He did not have to control us. Javik saw the benefits of each culture maintaining their individuality but uniting under a common cause. It is what made us stronger. It is what allowed us to defeat the Reapers. Your people failed because you made all of the other species conform. You took the easy way out… control and rule by fear and violence. You removed choice, just as the Reapers sought to do. That was your undoing. And now after 50,000 years and practical extinction you have learned nothing. But the galaxy has moved on without you. We primitives have found a new way. A better way. We stood together against the Reapers and we will stand against you too.”

The crowd filled with murmurs. Yarus and Kovas exchanged speculative glances.

Kovas stood and came to stand in front of Shepard. Liara prepared herself to throw a protective barrier around Shepard if Kovas made a threatening move. But instead, after a moment he lifted his hand and touched her face. Shepard’s body jolted as if shocked, but she remained standing. Kovas lowered his head and closed his eyes. It only took a moment. When Kovas opened his eyes again he looked something akin to startled. He studied Shepard’s face, still blinded by the connection. Then he pulled his hand away. Shepard swayed and Liara resisted the urge to go to her. She managed to regain her composure, shaking her head to clear it and met Kovas’ gaze.

Kovas tilted his head to the side, as if contemplating Shepard in a new light. “The human speaks true. Javik, our Vanguard of Vengeance once thought lost, has touched her. Fought with her. Fought… for…her.”

The crowds vocal response was one of uncertainty.

Kovas returned to his seat, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

Shepard turned her attention back to Yarus. “It doesn’t have to be this way. It doesn’t have to be you or us. Ruling by fear and violence is not the only answer.”

“What do you purpose?” Yaurs said.

“Join us. Join us as the Prothean people. Live amongst us as equals. Be your own masters and leave the humans and Turians and Asari and everyone else in the galaxy to be their own masters. Our strength is in our individuality and in our collaboration and mutual respect.”

“This will gain us nothing!” Goren erupted, standing.

“And what is it you really wish to gain?” Liara this time, stepping forward. “A home world beyond this cavern where your children can run free and see the stars? A chance to preserve your culture? Save your species? All of this can be achieved far easier with cooperation rather than totalitarian rule. Give your people hope instead of war. Let them share with other cultures instead of eradicating them. We all seek the same. Growth, freedom, safety. Let us work together to achieve it.”

Murmurs again, less and less hostile. Yarus held up his hand for silence. After a moment, he pushed himself to stand and stepped down in front of Shepard. Now off of his perch, he was small compared to other Protheans. He stood eye to eye with Shepard, his gray eyes studying her. He slowly lifted his hand, holding it by her head, then lowering it slowly. Shepard’s body jolted as he touched her, but again she remained standing.

After a long moment, Yarus pulled his hand away, blinking rapidly for a moment before settling his gaze on Shepard again. Shepard for her part was breathing hard but still managed to stay on her feet.

“It is… remarkable,” Yarus said slowly. “Javik shared his memory shard with you?”

Shepard nodded. “He gave it to me… before our final battle.”

“It is a token of great respect. Of… trust,” Yarus said.

“His willingness to share that with me, to see me as his equal when it went against everything he’d ever known, gave me more respect for him than if he’d killed ten Reapers bare handed.”

“What has become of Javik?” Yarus asked.

“He was lost. In the final battle against the Reapers.”

“It is… remarkable,” Yarus said again. “But it is too late. The wheels have already been set in motion.”

“What do you mean? The bomb? The attack on the Citadel?” Shepard asked.

“The bomb you intercepted was only a distraction. While we did not anticipate you would commandeer our ship, we expected you would intercept the bomb. It was a valuable distraction from the true purpose,” Kovas supplied.

Yarus waved his hand once again. “It makes no matter now. It is done,”

The hair on the back of Shepard’s neck stood on end. “What is done?”

“The very vessel that carried you to victory will also serve to bring an end to your galactic peace,” Goren said with a satisfied grin.

“The Normandy!” Traynor gasped.


	24. Chapter 24

Commander Ashley Williams stared out into space from the windows in the Normandy’s lounge. She always seemed to think better when she could physically see outside. And she’d never been comfortable taking the Captain’s Cabin on Deck One. Her few personal items still sat unpacked in crates on the floor there. It was just too weird. So once again she found herself doing her contemplation in the lounge.

Shepard, Liara and Traynor had disappeared in the alien ship a full three weeks prior. No one knew for sure what had happened, but Miranda’s analysis speculated that the ship had jumped through some sort of mass effect field. No one knew where they’d jumped to or even if they survived.

The Normandy had stopped the cruiser with it’s explosive payload. As soon as they boarded the two Redeemers used their suicide capsules. There wasn’t even a fight to be had. They found the two Salarian’s dead in their seats and the bomb sitting quietly in the cargo hold waiting to be taken.

The Alliance and the Counsel, while happy to have the immediate threat averted, were none too happy about loosing their prize possession in Shepard. Ashley and Shepard had been acting as Spectres at the time so they couldn’t really discipline her but her own guilt at loosing Shepard, not to mention Liara and Traynor as well, was crushing her inside.

She didn’t bother turning around when she heard the door open. Instead she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She felt someone come to stand next to her. Looking in the reflection of the window she saw Garrus.

“I half expected to find you passed out on the floor in here,” he said casually. “But then without Vega’s influence things have gotten a little boring around here.”

Ashley remained quiet, hands stiffly behind her back.

“It’s not your fault Ashley,” he said finally, meeting her gaze in the reflection.

“The hell it isn’t,” she shot back.

“If anything it’s my fault. I mean I watched the damn thing disappear right in front of us. You were chasing the bomb. I was sitting there with a stick up my ass.” He paused, no response. “Shepard knows what she’s doing. Most of the time anyway. I’m sure they’re fighting their way back here right now. Hell if the Collectors and the Reapers couldn’t kill her galactic terrorists don’t have a chance.”

Ashley blew out an ironic chuckle. “That was the old Shepard. I’m telling you Garrus she came back spooked this time. She’s not the same.”

Garrus physically turned to her this time. “Are you the same? Are any of us after that damn war? Shepard’s been through more than any of us. Isn’t she entitled to a little… spook?”

Ashley looked at him. “I can’t help but think this happened because she wasn’t ready. She ran off to an alien ship we had no way of tracking after being back a few weeks and took her girlfriend and a newbie specialist who’d never been on a mission before. Allowing that to happen at all was my fault.”

“I know you’re trying to be all noble and take the blame here Ash but you’re coming off like a whiny Vorcha.” Garrus stuck a finger at her chest. “You’re selling all three of them short, especially Shepard.” He took a moment to calm himself. “Look, you think maybe we can just punch each other hard a couple times and move on? We still don’t know who’s pulling the strings on this Redeemer operation. For all we know they could be planning something else. We need to be on our toes for this event. Shepard would be.”

Ash met his gaze, knowing he was right and hating him for it. They only had two weeks before every major dignitary in the galaxy would be gathered in one place. It was certainly a tempting enough opportunity for the Redeemers to try striking again. She grimaced, “Ok, but you get to be the one to deal with Miranda. She hates me.”

“Aw Miranda hates everyone. That’s how you know she likes you.”

###

Shepard was pacing again. This time they were in a larger alcove with a ceiling high enough for them to stand and wide enough to allow Shepard to expend three strides before having to turn back. But it was a prison none the less and when the ground shook the red dust still rained down relentlessly. Time was hard to measure without omni-tools or stars or daylight but Shepard was beyond loosing her patience.

After the initial meeting with the Vanguards in the main cavern they had been brought back to this cell, which held modest bunks and other basic supplies. It had been their home since then for what they could only estimate had been several weeks. Occasionally one of the Vanguards, either Yarus or Kovas, would come and hold philosophical discussions with them. They would occasionally touch Shepard’s mind. Over time, they also touched Liara’s mind as well to experience another species. Liara was physically exhausted by the experience although Shepard knew the young archeologist part of her she’d hidden away was secretly thrilled to be touched in that way by a Prothean.

Goren had only appeared a few times and never entered their space or spoke. He only glowered.

Shepard was encouraged by her conversations with both Yarus and Kovas. Both seemed intrigued by her ideas and descriptions of the cooperative nature between the species. But they still said nothing about stopping their attack on the Citadel. Time, they all knew, was growing short.

Traynor was asleep in her bunk. The whole experience had taken it’s toll on the young Specialist and Liara felt compassion for her. Traynor thrived on challenges and technology. Here she was lost. Liara worried for her even more than for herself and Shepard. They at least had been on the front lines of battles and seemingly hopeless situations before. Although never captivity like this.

Liara looked up from her bunk and watched Shepard’s pace pick up, her mind obviously working furiously to find them a way out of this mess they were in. The muscles in her jaw bunched and flexed with tension. Her fingers curling in and out of fists at her sides.

“Jess,” Liara called to her gently. Shepard continued pacing as if she hadn’t heard her. “Jess stop,” she commanded more strongly.

Shepard halted in her tracks, her eyes darting to Liara, her frustration flaring, hands balled into fists. “Just what else am I supposed to do?” she demanded angrily.

Liara patted the spot next to her on the bunk, meeting her anger with a patient look. Shepard let out a long sigh and forced herself to calm down. She sat next to Liara and buried her face in her hands. She felt Liara’s hand slide up her back and gently into her hair. The connection felt exquisite and Shepard couldn’t help but lean into her. “I don’t know how to get us out of here,” she said quietly after a moment, not wanting Traynor to hear.

“We’ll think of something,” Liara said. “At least Yarus and Kovas seem interested in discussion. I suppose it makes sense being the Vanguards of Wisdom and Knowledge.”

“Yes but _all_ they seem interested in is talking. Why not take action?”

“Changing the way you’ve looked at the galaxy your entire existence can’t be easy. Most species are extremely stubborn in some way or another. Despite their intrigue they still seem to be stuck in their old ways.”

Shepard was only half listening at this point, Liara’s fingers working their magic along her scalp. Her eyes closed, feeling like sandpaper from their weariness.

“Stuck,” a quiet voice echoed from the bunk nearby. It was Traynor. Almost as if she were talking in her sleep. Then she suddenly sat up in her bunk. “They’re stuck,” she repeated.

Shepard forced her eyes open and glanced at the Specialist. Traynor suddenly looked more alert than she had in days. “What’s up Sam?” Shepard asked.

Traynor looked over at them. “Maybe it’s that simple. Maybe they don’t offer another solution because they don’t have one.” She stood and started pacing quickly, her mind working. “The only ship we’ve seen the whole time we’ve been here is the one we flew in and before we stopped it, they were going to destroy it.” She looked at Liara and Shepard to see if they were following her. She was met with puzzled looks. She began pacing again and gesturing with her hands. “What if they’re really stuck down here. If they don’t have a way out, why change their plans?”

“They have the ship,” Shepard said.

“Yes, they have the ship. But the ship was stripped bare, remember? Maybe there’s a reason for that. Maybe it’s because the mass effect field can’t handle the bulk… at least not any more. I mean it practically fell apart on our trip back. I doubt it could make another mass effect jump in it’s current state without a hull breech,” Traynor continued.

“But if they’re really stuck here, how would they plan to rule the galaxy again? If the self destruct had gone unchecked their one means of transportation would have been destroyed,” Liara said.

“But if their plan works… if they destroyed the Citadel or managed to create an incident large enough to throw the balance of power into chaos they could leverage that for control, even remotely as they do now,” Shepard said.

“It seems tenuous at best,” Liara was skeptical.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Shepard mumbled. Her mind was working. After weeks of frustration she had an idea. “Traynor, if it is a hull integrity issue with the mass effect field is there anything that could be done about it?”

Samantha paced, pulling at her bottom lip, deep in thought. “Possibly, although I’d be much more successful at speculating if I could talk to EDI.”

###

Shepard was pacing again but this time it was anticipatory. She halted at the sound of approaching footsteps. Two Prothean guards arrived and lowered the blue field that held them.

“The Vanguards will see you,” they announced.

They were led through the maze of corridors to an anti-chamber where they found Yarus seated at a stone table, a blanket over his lap despite the heat from the caves and Kovas was nearby leaning over a table strewn with memory shards. Both Vanguards looked up when the group entered.

Yarus offered what Shepard perceived as a small smile of welcome. “We were told you wished to speak with us,” Kovas said. The Vanguard of Knowledge tilted his head to the side and watched them, a sign Shepard had come to recognize as curiosity.

“Yes. I want to know why you don’t leave here on your ship,“ Shepard cut straight to the point. “I assume you only have the one.”

Yarus and Kovas exchanged glances. “Why do you wish to know?” Kovas asked.

“While a change is difficult, I can’t help but feel you are curious to experience all of the ideas we have been discussing. I have been trying to figure out why you don’t just try it. The war is over. The Reapers are defeated. Why not leave this place and find a new world. Start your new civilization. And then there is your planned attack, which you seem to second guess but appear to feel is inevitable. Why?”

Kovas looked to Yarus, who was studying Shepard carefully. Finally the elder Prothean motioned for Shepard and her companions to sit. “You are indeed an anomaly, Shepard, for any species I would suspect,” Yarus said, a twinkle in his eye. Shepard looked unsure if this was a compliment or not. Liara fought back a smile.

Yarus turned and looked to the wall containing thousands of dazzling shards that held the memories and histories of his people. “We Prothean’s have a long history of arrogance. Few would admit this, making this truth all the more evident. But despite our faults we made many great advances and achievements for our time. Even amongst the threat of the Reapers. When it was clear to us that the fight was lost, we focused on ways to salvage our race. You have seen some of the efforts… on Ilos… on Eden Prime… and now here on Voltanis. Voltanis is unique because of the great natural energy churning violently under the surface. It offered in abundance what the other stasis locations lacked. An endless source of power. That is how we avoided the same fate. But getting to Voltanis was difficult and would take time. No mass relays exist in this system.”

“When Yarus contacted me I was working at a research facility,” Kovas took over the story. “Our task was focused on developing a propulsion system that would provide us independence from the mass relays. If that could be achieved and the mass relays destroyed, the thought was that we could delay the Reaper’s advance. The ship you have seen… the ship you have in fact flown, was the prototype. We never expected its long term use. But in the end we ran out of time. The Reaper advance was swift in that time. Yarus came to us with a plan for Voltanis. What remained of us took to the ship as a last hope and it carried us here.”

“Quite a successful trial run, I’d say,” Traynor commented.

Kovas smiled, “Yes, but not without difficulty. The stresses to the ship’s structure are immense. But we managed to make it here. Once stasis ended when the Reaper threat was eliminated, we stripped the ship of everything and used it to bring us news of the state of the galaxy.”

“And plot your return to power,” Liara reminded them.

Kovas nodded his head in conceit of that fact. “The ship’s structure itself is weak. Unreliable. Rather than have it lost or fall onto enemy hands, we chose destruction after the last mission. This of course did not succeed as you know.”

“And yet it got us here,” Shepard said.

“Indeed,” said Yarus. “But in answer to your question Captain, we are in fact trapped here. For now.”

“And what if we could offer you a way out?” Shepard said, getting to the heart of the matter.

“You are prisoners. We have targeted you and your people. Killed your comrades. We threaten even now the heart of your civilization and you offer… help? Why?” Yarus asked truly puzzled.

“I suppose I believe in second chances. I released the Rachni, I strengthened the Geth, I cured the Krogan. I took great risks with all of these decisions. I put faith and trust in the hands of those no one else did. So far I haven’t been disappointed. But that’s not to say we wouldn’t want something in return.”

“Your freedom,” Kovas surmised.

“Much more, Vanguard. Cooperation,” Shepard said.

###

“Out of the question!” Goren bellowed. His voice echoed off the walls of the cavern. All three Vanguards and Shepard and her team were standing at the base of the great gray ship.

“We need our armor, omni-tools and access to the ship to make this work,” Shepard insisted.

“You only wish to destroy us, human,” Goren growled.

Shepard cast him a cold smile, “I’m flattered that you think we _primitives_ are such a danger to you great and powerful Protheans.”

Goren’s hands crushed into fists at his sides and he took a threatening step towards her.

Yarus stopped him with a strong but calm voice of reason. “We will give Shepard and her companions what she requests. We will fulfill our part in an effort to test this… collaboration.”

“Shepard is not the only one who will benefit from it’s success Goren,” Kovas added. “Or do you wish to remain here indefinitely?”

Goran fumed, fists still at his sides, but he remained where he was standing as their armor was dropped in a heap at their feet.

Kovas turned to Shepard, “You will be under guard as you are on the ship. You will make regular reports of your progress to the Vanguard counsel.”

“How much time do we have before your attack is carried out?” Shepard asked.

The Vanguards exchanged glances and Yarus nodded slightly at Goren. The Vanguard showed his teeth in disgust but answered all the same, “Five days.”

Liara’s eyes went wide. They had been hoping for much more time. It left little room for trial and error. She glanced at Traynor and saw her eyes were equally as startled but she remained silent.

“Very well,” Shepard said grimly, “then there’s no time to waste.”


	25. Chapter 25

A short time later found Shepard, Liara and Traynor in their red-stained armor standing in the cockpit of the Prothean ship. Two heavily armed guards towered menacingly nearby. Shepard leaned back against the consoles and crossed her arms as Liara and Traynor brought up their omni-tools.

“How’s EDI?” Shepard asked Traynor.

Traynor made a face, “This bloody red dust isn’t the ideal environment for a high functioning VI but she appears undamaged despite her disconnection from the bio-leads.”

“Good, first priority is to get her hooked back into the sensors of this ship and run detailed diagnostics and stress test scenarios. Lets find out how bad the structure is before we start speculating on how to fix it.” Traynor nodded.

Shepard continued, “Liara we’re going to need to find the most secure places on the ship for the Prothean population to be during the flight back. Someplace compartmentalized that could provide some protection if parts of the ship’s structure fails.”

“I’m certain they will want to bring along a great deal of their equipment as well and the catalog of memory shards,” Liara added.

“We have to limit it to essentials. The less we can burden the ship the better. Compromises will have to be made for safety. Once we have our structure fortification plan in place I’m counting on you to handle those delicate negotiations.”

Liara nodded before going back to her omni-tool and making plans.

###

In another area deep in the caverns, the three Vanguards watched the planning in the cockpit on a vidcom with grave interest. Goren’s massive arms were crossed over his chest, his expression still glowering with disapproval.

“How far do you expect to entertain this charade?” his deep voice grumbled.

“If the human Shepard can indeed find some way to get our entire populous safely off of this planet then it is hardly a charade at all. She is motivated by our impending attack. We have seen how… resourceful she can be when properly motivated,” Yarus said evenly.

“And lets just say she is successful and we arrive at the Citadel before the attack takes place. What then Yarus? You don’t seriously intend to stop after all we have sacrificed.”

Yarus didn’t answer. Instead he looked back at the image of Shepard and the others in the heart of their great ship.

###

“Bloody bullocks damnit all to hell!” Traynor let out her latest in a string of frustrated explicatives. She rubbed her head, the ache only increasing. She was tired, hot, covered in the infernal red dust, and mentally exhausted after hours upon hours of failed simulations. They were running out of time. Every sim she ran with EDI so far had ended in the Prothean ship breaking up before reaching the Sol system. The lack of materials and only basic knowledge of the ship structure not to mention the mass effect field dynamics created by the ship were beginning to seem insurmountable.

She felt a hand grip her shoulder and glanced up to find Shepard. Traynor took a deep breath and blew it out hard. Shepard dropped down on her haunches to meet Traynor at eye level, seeing as how she was sitting haphazardly on the cockpit floor with datapads and wires scattered about. “No luck, huh?” Shepard asked quietly, her blue eyes looking compassionately into brown.

“If it were one problem we were facing it would be fine, but there are so many variables.”

“Why do the sims fail ultimately?”

“Structural failure. We’re all crushed into tiny bits of space dust, kind of structural failure. It’s just so big, this ship. It’s really a miracle we made it back here alive to be honest.”

Shepard nodded. A sudden rumbling and shaking all around them made Shepard grab the console to steady herself. The ship groaned and the sound of falling rock and debris littered the structure above them.

“And then there’s the fact that this volcano seems to be under duress as well,” Traynor added.

Shepard nodded, her eyes traveling the cockpit, ear tuned to any more debris falling as the rumble and shaking subsided. “They do seem to be happening more frequently, stronger too. At least it’s given the Protheans more motivation to get out of here beside the promise of good will.”

“Captain I’m not sure they’re still not intent on galactic domination.” Traynor dropped her voice to a whisper, “I mean how can you trust them? After everything they’ve done? What if they don’t hold up their end?”

“We could have said the same about the Krogan or the Geth for that matter.” Shepard stood and held out her hand, pulling Traynor to her feet. “Lets go check on Liara.”

As they walked through the tunnels their ever present guards dropped back. Traynor’s forehead was creased in thought. Shepard glanced over at her as they walked. “Go ahead and ask whatever is on your mind Traynor.”

Traynor glanced up, finding Shepard’s crooked smile waiting expectantly. “It’s just that the Krogan and the Geth situation had something we don’t. Back then we had the Reapers, a common enemy. It was logical to look past the centuries of distrust and make a change for their own survival, if not everyone else's. In this case, all we have is each other.”

Shepard smiled to herself. “Traynor all we ever have is each other. We have to reach a point where that’s enough, or any chance at galactic peace is lost. To do that, someone has to take the first step.”

“Like, extending an olive branch?”

“Yes, you extend the proverbial olive branch with a smile and hope your arm doesn’t get blown off.”

“Comforting,” Traynor smiled weakly.

Just then they reached a part of the tunnel that seemed to have partially collapsed in the earlier quake. Several Protheans were working to clear the passage.

“Are you two alright?” a familiar voice beyond the rubble called.

“We’re fine Liara. You ok?” Shepard responded. Liara’s head appeared beyond the rubble and she waved in greeting.

“Yes, I was in the room with the shards speaking with Kovas at the time.”

Shepard and Traynor climbed over the low side of the rubble and joined Liara. Shepard cast her a gentle smile to assure her they were unharmed. Liara couldn’t help but return the gesture. She turned to Traynor as they made their way further down the corridor together. “Any luck with the sims?” She frowned at the frustrated shake of the head she got from the Specialist.

They entered the room with the walls covered in the fragile memory shards. Despite the chaos outside and in the tunnels, this room remained pristine, nothing out of place and for the first time Shepard realized that the red dust that coated virtually every other surface was not present here. She rubbed her scar in thought. “It looks like nothing was even disturbed in here. Not even a layer of dust.”

Kovas looked up from the table where he was studying a shard. “We have fortified the tunnels below this room to protect it from the tremors. These shards are very delicate.”

“Fortified how?” Traynor asked.

A few minutes later they were standing in the catacomb of tunnels and caves below the shards room. The entire space looked like a glowing blue honeycomb as energy barriers hummed between arches and gaps.

Traynor’s eyes studied the layout eagerly before settling on Shepard and Liara. The Specialist looked suddenly infused with energy. “I have to run another simulation. I have an idea that just might work.”

###

The Vanguards, several other leaders amongst the Protheans, Shepard and Liara all sat in rapt attention in one of the larger sub-chambers as Traynor ran her latest simulation.

“So as you can see, with the addition of these support fields strategically placed throughout the structure of the ship we can maintain the hull integrity throughout the mass effect leap.” The sim showed the Prothean ship interior aglow with blue barriers sprinkled in doorways, hallways and other strategic areas. As the sim ended, the ship emerged in the Sol system in one piece.

Murmurs of cautious optimism rippled through the crowd.

Traynor looked to Shepard who gave her a subtle wink.

“These power fields are everywhere. They limit access throughout the ship, they bisect rooms. Where will the people be?” a Prothean asked, some skepticism still in his voice.

Liara stepped forward and using her omni-tool rotated the hologram of the ship interior navigating through several decks to a larger, open section. “This is the most structurally sound section of the ship, made so even further by Specialist Traynor’s structural support plan. It’s space is sufficient to hold the entirety of the Prothean populous.”

“But we will be trapped there,” another voice interrupted.

Shepard stepped forward, asserting a calm, clear voice. “Once the fields are active everyone will be confined to this area, that is true. This is critical to maintaining balance and therefore hull integrity.”

“They would have us caged and lead us to the slaughter,” Goren erupted, waving his arms aggressively. “Surely Vanguard Yarus, you can not allow us to be vulnerable in this way,” he appealed to elder Prothean.

The old, wise Yarus stroked his chin thoughtfully. “It is not ideal,” he said slowly. “But it seems a sound plan.” He looked to Kovas, who nodded, seeming impressed with the plan that he was unable to conceive of himself.

“But we will be at their mercy when we reach the other side,” Goren continued.

Yarus raised his hand for silence. “Goren your volume grates on my nerves. Calm yourself.” He took a moment then stepped forward slowly. His gray eyes studied the hologram of the ship as he circled it. He stopped in front of Shepard and studied her in silence as well. Finally he turned back to Goren and the others. “We will proceed.” He held up his hand to stop Goren before he could begin. “It is not ideal. Nothing about our situation is ideal. But Shepard and her crew have shown us a way out that we ourselves were not able to conceive of and that is no small feat.” He turned towards Shepard and met her blue eyes with his gray ones. “So Captain, we will follow your plan.”

“I sense a but coming…” Shepard said.

“Indeed,” Yarus said. “Vanguard Goren and myself will join you and Specialist Traynor in the cockpit. Dr. T’soni and Vanguard Kovas will remain in the holding area with our people.”

Shepard grimaced, knowing Liara would be the Prothean’s insurance policy. She believed in Traynor’s plan but she would rather have her bondmate with her. Despite this she nodded curtly in agreement. “And assuming we are successful how will we go about stopping the attack once we arrive?”

Yarus clasped his hands behind his back and narrowed his eyes. “That information will be revealed if and when we arrive, Captain.”

Shepard watched him carefully, judging his sincerity, an odd tingle at the back of her neck making her cautious. Finally she nodded once again, “Agreed, Vanguard Yarus.”

His gray eyes twinkled, “Then let us begin…with haste.”

###

A few hours later Liara was completely engrossed in the organizational plans, tapping quickly on her omni-tool and shuffling screens this way and that to get them in some kind of order. She was so focused on her task that she didn’t notice her admirer until a voice spoke up from behind her.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are covered in red dust?”

Liara raised an eyebrow but didn’t halt in her work or turn to look at Shepard. “Is that supposed to be an apology for agreeing to make me a hostage?”

Shepard moved to sit next to her. “No, it’s an apology for what I’m going to ask next.”

This caught Liara’s attention and she promptly closed her omni-tool and met Shepard’s steady blue gaze with her own.

“We have to get a message back home or they’ll blow us out of the sky before we have a chance to explain. There are no shields, no weapons, no defenses on this ship. They could practically throw a rock and destroy us.”

“And how do you purpose we do that without a quantum entanglement communicator?”

They were alone in the alcove but Shepard still shielded her hand from the door with her body as she opened it, revealing the small disk Miranda had given her. Liara’s eyebrow raised and she couldn’t help the hostile glare she settled on Shepard.

“Your eyes are a stunning shade of blue when you’re angry,” Shepard whispered, her lips tilting into an endearing grin.

Liara pinned Shepard with a glare but cracked a small smile in spite of herself. She took the disk and slipped it discretely into her omni-tool. After a moment of examination she glanced back at Shepard, a chagrin of respect on her face. “Impressive. It appears to be a micro communicator capable of quantum entanglement projections.”

“So can we get a message out with it?”

“It will have to be very brief and we will likely only get one burst from it. It’s very possible that the signal will be too weak to get picked up.”

Shepard nodded, “I think I know just the thing to get her attention.”

###

Miranda was sitting with her legs crossed in their usual fashion at her desk but instead of having her attention focused on her screens, they were staring unfocused out of her massive window at the swirling gasses of Jupiter’s surface below. The turbulence in the atmosphere of the gas giant was a perfect reflection of the turmoil of her thoughts. She grimaced, one of many in the weeks since they’d lost Shepard. Since then it had been a whirlwind of meetings, vid calls, and explanation after explanation as to the how, why, who, when and what she had to answer to since Shepard, Liara and Traynor had disappeared inside the ancient Prothean ship. The hardest question came in the form of ‘how could you let this happen?’ and it came from neither the Alliance nor the Counsel. It was the question she asked herself over and over.

She sighed heavily, grimaced again and began running over the events in her head for the thousandth time. The subtle beeps of her console behind her were long lost to background noise. The Galactic Unity Celebration was less than fourty-eight hours away. Every dignitary in the galaxy was expected to make an appearance as a show of solidarity one year after the Reaper conquest. Despite having secured the Redeemer bomb, Miranda still felt an unease over the celebration.

A chime of a distinctly different timber sounded behind her. It was higher pitched than the rest and reserved for one thing only.

She turned back to her desk, frowning. She tapped a few screens and brought up the secure communication terminal. One incoming message. The signature originated from the communicator she had given Shepard at their last meeting. The only one of it’s kind in existence. She quickly applied the decoding software, her heart beating faster in anticipation. Finally after seconds that seemed like hours, a short text based message appeared. Four words, twelve letters, but they spoke volumes.

She slapped her com, “Lieutenant Arulian, prep my shuttle for departure to the Citadel immediately. And contact Commander Williams and Ambassador Vakarian and tell them I need to meet with them as soon as possible. And discreetly, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, Ms. Lawson, right away.”

Miranda stared at the screen, eagerly reading it over and over, a grin spreading with each moment.

On the screen the message flashed: ARE YOU WITH ME


	26. Chapter 26

“That’s it?” Ashley Williams said, her arms folded, unimpressed, across her chest. “That’s what you’re all worked up about?”

Miranda assaulted her with a steely gaze. “This message could only have come from Shepard.”

“You mean it could only have come from the communicator you gave Shepard. Anyone could have sent the message as long as they had that.”

Miranda grimaced, unable or unwilling to explain the significance of the message itself. Not to the cocky Commander pre-disposed to disbelief anyway. Instead she turned her appeal to Garrus, who unfortunately looked equally skeptical.

“Even if that is the case, which I know it’s not, this proves that they are alive,” Miranda insisted.

“Or were for a while at least after they disappeared,” Garrus added, stroking his chin in thought. “Still even if it is from Shepard, it doesn’t tell us anything. Can you determine where it originated from?”

Miranda shook her head.

Ashley threw her hands up in defeat.

“Look, you just have to trust me when I tell you I know this is from Shepard,” Miranda insisted.

“So what if it is? You can’t expect to go to the Counsel or the Alliance with this,” Ashley said.

“No, of course not. But I don’t believe the timing of this is a coincidence either. In twenty-four hours the eyes of the entire Galaxy will be focused here on the Citadel. We all know what is at stake here. And how much danger there is.”

“There are ships from every war fleet out there protecting this station. There’s no way an attack can get through,” Ashley said.

“Miranda’s right, we can’t underestimate the danger, no matter how many guns are floating out there,” Garrus said finally.

“So what exactly are you suggesting we _do_. All I hear is arm waving and hand wringing but what do you expect we should _do_ about this great threat of nothingness?” Ashley asked.

“Just be ready,” Miranda said. “Ready for anything. Ready for Shepard.”

###

Shepard watched from the red dirt cavern floor as the last of the Prothean population made their way up the ramp and into the ship. Liara looked up from the counts she was monitoring on her omni-tool and nodded at Shepard. “That’s everyone.”

Yarus, Kovas and Goren stood nearby. Yarus cast an appreciative glance around the interior of the cavern. The life pods glowed with the blue-green pulse of power, still after over 50,000 years. “This planet has served it’s purpose well. But the time has come for us to leave it and take the next step in the future of our people.” His gray eyes settled on the massive ship waiting in front of them. “If we succeed this will be a first in many future collaborations between our people.” He turned his gaze to Shepard.

“Then lets focus on that success,” she met his gaze steadily.

“Indeed,” he said, and made his way toward the ship.

Shepard and Liara sought each other’s gaze at the same moment, catching and holding. Kovas stepped to Liara’s side and motioned towards the ship. Shepard gave her a small, crooked smile trying to relay confidence and hide the fear she felt tickling at the back of her neck. Liara smiled back briefly before tearing her gaze away and disappearing into the ship.

“Well human,” Goren’s voice rumbled low and menacingly close, “the time has come for your failure.”

She met his gaze with a steady one of her own. His expression was full of arrogance and menace. The tickle of fear vanished, replaced instead by the irrepressible need to survive, to triumph even in the face of uncertainty. She was filled with the will to fight, to live. Goren would take that from her, from Traynor, from Liara. Even from his own people. No. She felt white hot anger surge through her veins.

Her body suddenly exploded into action, her boot connected hard in his gut, catching him by surprise. She was on him instantly, her fist twisted into the flesh at his neck, cutting off his air, her face mere centimeters from his. She felt a feral grin overtake her face. “At this point _Vanguard_ , our fates are intertwined. If I were you, I’d hope for success for your own sake.” She held him a moment longer before thrusting him away with a growl and turning her back to enter the ship herself.

Goren stared viciously after her retreating figure all the while rubbing his sore neck before letting out a growl of his own and stalking after her.

###

The group in the cockpit consisted of Shepard, Traynor, Yarus, and Goren. Traynor had setup more familiar controls that routed through EDI and wouldn’t require Shepard actually navigating via the Prothean controls that were so draining.

“You ready for this Traynor?” Shepard asked, turning to glance at the Specialist to her right.

Traynor casted her a nervous smile, “Bloody ready or not, lets get this done.”

Shepard nodded and turned her attention to the consoles. “EDI power up the engines and thrusters.”

“Engines and thrusters online Captain,” EDI’s voice replied.

Shepard cast a glance at the count down on one of her screens, showing how much time they had remaining before the Redeemer plan using the Normandy as a weapon went into affect. It showed less than three hours. Her hands hovered over the controls for a moment. The sudden sense memory of standing facing a similar inevitable count down flashed in her minds eye. The last had cost hundreds of thousands of Batarian lives. Now the lives of countless others hung in the balance once again.

She flexed her hands, drawing in a breath and exhaling. Then she placed them on the controls.

As the massive Prothean ship lifted from the cavern floor, the air filled with the sound of groaning metal and the entire structure shuttered. Yarus and Goren braced themselves with hands against the wall and spared a quick worried glance between them.

As they rose higher, the screeching increased to almost deafening levels before finally easing off. Shepard glanced at Traynor, who nodded. “Ok EDI, take us out nice and slow.”

###

Hackett stood in Alliance Command headquarters, his hands behind his back, his steady gaze shifting as each enormous screen above him updated with the latest information of the various fleets forming up ranks around the Citadel. The grand ceremony was scheduled to start in less than two hours and he was determined to make it both successful and safe for all involved.

“Admiral, Commander Williams is checking in sir,” the officer to his right informed him.

“Bring her up front and center,” he commanded.

In the blink of an eye the image of Ashley Williams in her dress blue uniform standing in the com room on the Normandy materialized on the center screen in front of him.

“Commander, I assume everything is in order on the Normandy?”

Ashley nodded, “Yes sir Admiral. The broad sweep security checks have been completed. All is quiet. Ambassador Vakarian and his fleet will continue to patrol the outlying areas around the Citadel from now until the end of the ceremony. All of the ships involved in the fly through of the Citadel will be forming up on the other side of the moon before their approach.”

“Very good Commander. And the Normandy will lead the parade group for the fly over as the tip of the spear, just as they did one year ago today.”

“It will be an honor, Admiral.”

Hackett turned to his left and studied the familiarly cool visage of Miranda Lawson. “Anything to add Ms. Lawson?”

Miranda glanced up, catching Ashley’s eye the vid com. Ashley grimaced slightly. “No new intel to report, Admiral,” Miranda said calmly. Outwardly the former Cerberus Agent seemed as calm and collected as ever, but inwardly her senses were coiled tight in anticipation. She only wished she knew what exactly she was anticipating.

Hackett addressed Ashley once again. “Very well. Commander, proceed as planned and form up for the rendezvous. Hackett out.”

Back on the Normandy Ashley’s shoulders slumped and she sighed, running a hand through her long dark hair. “Get me Garrus,” she said quietly.

After a moment the familiar image of Garrus Vakarian appeared on the vid com before her. “Anything new?” he asked without preamble.

Ashley shook her head. “Nothing.”

He nodded. “See you out there. Keep your eyes open.”

She cast him a quick halfhearted smile, “Yeah you too Vakarian. Williams out.”


	27. Chapter 27

The Prothean ship shuddered and groaned again as it twisted it’s way out of the tunnel walls and emerged into the tumultuous sky of Voltanus.

Yarus leaned forward with interest, having not seen the planet surface in over 50,000 years. The air was thick with massive columns of ash and particulate. As the ship rose higher into the atmosphere the violence of the activity on the surface became more apparent.

“One would never think such a hostile view could have provided such a safe haven for so long,” Yarus said.

Shepard guided the ship into the atmosphere and out of orbit, heading into deeper space.

“Mass effect engines warming up,” Traynor said.

Yarus spoke again, addressing Shepard, “This is it Captain. In the next few moments we will know if our first collaboration has been a success.”

Shepard met the gray gaze of Yarus and nodded. “Indeed Vanguard. At least the first part. Don’t forget your end of the bargain. Once we reach the Sol system you will disclose how to stop your attack.”

“I have not forgotten,” Yarus said, his eyes turning back to the view of space beyond her.

Shepard caught the tiniest of smirks on Goren’s lips before it disappeared. The familiar tingle of the hairs standing on the back of her neck came again. She glanced at the countdown. Less than an hour remained. No time to waste.

She turned back to her controls before sparing a glance at Traynor. The Specialist looked pale but otherwise steady. “Let me know when we’re ready Specialist,” Shepard said quietly.

Traynor glanced up, briefly meeting her eyes, “Yes, Captain.”

“Mass effect engines at maximum, Captain. Commence jump when ready,” EDI’s voice filled the cabin.

Shepard took a breath in and let it out slowly. She thought of Liara and the hundreds of Protheans waiting in the decks below. She thought of Miranda and the message she’d sent. She had no idea what they would face when they came out of the other side of the mass effect jump but they were out of time.

“EDI initiate count down,” Shepard commanded.

“Mass effect jump in three… two…”

###

“…One. Begin armada approach,” Ashley Williams commanded from the cockpit of the Normandy.

An impressive collection of ships all representing the participants of the final attack on the Reapers one year prior emerged from the far side of the moon heading towards the Citadel orbiting above Earth. And as it had that day a year ago, the Normandy led them all.

“All ships reporting in formation Commander,” Joker informed her.

“Great,” Ashley muttered.

Joker cast her a glance, “You seem antsy. You gotta take a leak or something?”

“Stow it Joker.”

“Aye aye, Commander.”

“Garrus, report. Anything?”

“All quite out here Ash. Patrols aren’t reporting anything unusual other than the fact we’re all experiencing serious déjà vu,” Garrus informed her.

Ashley watched as the Citadel and Earth steadily became larger as they made their approach. A year ago the Earth had been on fire and the space around Earth’s orbit had been polluted with Reapers. Now the Earth shown brightly as the blue marble she’d always known, a beacon of life.

The Citadel spun slowly above it, all five of the arms completely restored. It was as if the Reaper invasion of a year ago had never happened. Only it had. And upon closer inspection the scars were still visible on earth, on the Citadel, and on each of them as well.

“Roger that,” Ashley responded, her quiet inflection making it clear she was experiencing the déjà vu herself.

“Commander we’re starting our final approach for the Citadel,” Joker informed her.

“We’ll continue our patrol until…” Garrus’s voice trailed off.

Ashley frowned. “Garrus?”

“What is that?” his voice muffled as he talked with someone else on his ship.

Her senses were alerting her that something wasn’t right. “Garrus?? Talk to me!”

“The sensors are picking up some kind of interference…” he began.

Ashley leaned forward against Joker’s chair, her eyes searching for any visible change in the space-scape before them. Suddenly an impossibly bright flash filled the cockpit and she and Joker shielded their eyes. Just as quickly it was gone and when they looked out the window again their entire view was blocked by a solid gray wall of metal.

“Evasive maneuvers!” Ashley commanded but Joker’s hands were already flying over the controls. “All ships evasive maneuvers! Garrus what the hell is that?!”

“Shit!”

“Garrus?”

“Ashley it’s the damned Prothean ship!”

“Son of a bitch! Shepard!”

###

It took Shepard a moment to get her bearings as they dropped out of the jump. “EDI report!”

“Jump successful. We are now in the Sol system approaching Earth orbit. Ship structural integrity at 65%.”

Shepard quickly recognized Earth and the Citadel but also realized they jumped into what appeared to be a swarm of ships. She recognized Alliance, Turian, Krogan and Quarian ships. All dangerously armed ships.

Her hands began moving over the controls. “We have to keep moving. If they fire at us we’re done,” she said grimly.

“Captain I’ve located the Normandy,” Traynor said.

Just then Shepard recognized the familiar outline of her old ship. She couldn’t help the smile that passed her lips. She glanced at the countdown. Ten minutes. Her smile vanished.

“EDI keep us moving. Try to hail the Normandy,” she said. She turned quickly to Yarus and Goren.

“We upheld our end of the bargain Vanguard, now it’s your turn. How do we disarm the bomb on the Normandy?”

Goren smiled crookedly. “Bomb? No one said anything about a bomb.” His smile turned into a grin.

“Vanguard Yarus, this was our agreement. We evacuated you and all of your people. Now how do I stop this before it goes too far?”

At that moment the ship rocked and the sharp sound of metal under stress screamed in the cockpit. “Vessels are firing. Taking evasive action. All attempts at communication have been unsuccessful,” Traynor reported, stress elevating the pitch of her voice.

Shepard turned back to Yarus. His eyes held something akin to regret. “Goren is correct. It is not a bomb. The Normandy is the weapon. The only way to stop the attack is to destroy the ship itself.”

Shepard stared at him, repeating his words in her head, not willing to process them.

The ship rocked again, hard and the structure groaned. “Captain we can’t take much more of this,” warned Traynor.

“Hull integrity at 35%,” EDI stated.

“There must be another way,” Shepard insisted.

Yarus shook his head slowly. “There is not.”

Goren’s feral grin spread.

“Damnit,” Shepard muttered, turning back to the controls. Less than five minutes left. She watched as cannon fire streaked past them, familiar ships maneuvering on the attack. The unique silhouette of the Normandy zipped by.

“Captain?” Traynor said, holding on as another shot rocked them.

“Hull breech in decks 5, 17 and 32. Hull integrity at 15%.”

“Captain to save your people you must destroy the Normandy. There is no other way,” Yarus insisted.

Shepard stared at him but wasn’t seeing him. She was back on top of the Citadel facing the power cylinder she would destroy. This time Ashley and Joker stood in front of it. “Shepard…” she heard Ashley say.

“Shepard… you have to choose.” Joker this time. A choice. Again.

“Captain! Shepard!” Traynor’s hand gripping her arm brought her back to the present. She blinked at Traynor, snapping back to the present.

“EDI… if you were going to use the Normandy as a weapon… as a bomb, what would make it create the most damage on impact or detonation,” Shepard suddenly asked, her eyes still locked on Traynor.

Traynor looked confused.

“The mass effect core would provide the main force and damage on detonation,” EDI responded.

“How would you counter act that to neutralize the Normandy as a weapon?” Shepard continued, turning from Traynor and gripping the console.

“The detonation could be neutralized upon ejection of the mass effect core.”

Traynor’s eyes went wide. “Of course!’

Shepard grabbed Traynor’s arm. “We have to reach them.”

“All communications are being interrupted by the interference from this ships mass effect engines,” EDI stated.

“Shut them down,” she commanded instantly.

“No!” Goren bellowed. “If you shut them down they will destroy us!” He lunged towards Shepard but before she could react, Yarus was on him. Though smaller and significantly older, the normally calm Prothean leader had Goren on his knees, a knife buried deep in his gut. The elder Vanguard’s attack was so swift and violent, no one, especially Goren, saw it coming. In his last moments, Goren stared into his leaders eyes and fired the weapon in his hand. Yarus jerked in surprise before meeting the eyes of his fellow Vanguard. Each knew their wounds to be fatal.

“You have killed us old fool,” Goren gasped.

“We die so that our people may live,” Yarus wheezed. And they both collapsed, dead.

Shepard spun back to the console. One minute remained on the countdown. “EDI, shut down the engines. Do it now!”

“Engines coming offline,” EDI responded.

The ship groaned and screeched, slowing almost immediately.

“Communications restored.”

“Get the Normandy, now!” Shepard commanded.

“Channel open.”

“Ashley, it’s Shepard. Eject the Normandy’s engine core. Now! Repeat, eject the engine core _now_!”

“Shepard? What the hell is going on?” Ashley’s voice echoed in the cockpit.

“Three cruisers incoming. They’re weapons are locking onto us,” Traynor warned.

“Ash I don’t have time to explain. You have to trust me. Eject the core now!” Shepard ordered.

Shepard could see the cruisers on an attack pattern heading towards them. Their cannons glowing hot as they spooled to fire.

“Ash please! Trust me!” she pleaded.

“Ejecting engine core,” she heard Joker confirming.

The cruisers fired. Shepard held her breath, sparing a thought for Liara seconds before being vaporized. Suddenly another ship swept in front of them, intercepting and absorbing the cruiser fire with it’s shields.

“Now that’s what I call teamwork,” Garrus’s voice filled the cockpit. “All ships stand down and disengage. I repeat, disengage from the alien ship.”

The cruisers immediately broke off their attack.

Traynor let out a sob of relief.

“Garrus the Normandy just ejected their engine core. I need to you blow it to hell!”

“With perfectly calibrated pleasure,” Garrus’s voice.

They watched as Garrus’s frigate swept past them once again, firing directly at the recently ejected core. The shock wave from the resulting explosion caused a renewed round of metal distress echoing through the Prothean ship.

“Ash you guys ok?” Shepard asked.

“Damn Shepard, way to make an entrance,” Ashley said.

Joker’s voice came through the com as well, “We’re all fine here Captain. There was a power surge just after we ejected the core. Fried a few things but otherwise we’re just floating here like a bunch of high priced space garbage.”

“Hull integrity critical,” EDI informed them.

“Alliance command this is Captain Shepard. We need immediate emergency evac from the Prothean vessel. The hull is one bump away from collapse. We have two humans, one Asari and 376 Protheans that need assistance.”

“Shepard, Hackett. Good to hear your voice.”

“Same to you Admiral.”

“Did you say Protheans?”


	28. Chapter 28

“You made a deal with the Prothean Vanguards despite their numerous vicious attacks on targets galaxy wide?!” Delatross Pravia bellowed. The Counsel member was on her feet, her eyes burning as she glared at Shepard.

They were in closed Counsel Chambers gathered around a conference table in the Presidium. All four Counsel members were in attendance in the flesh as well as Admiral Hackett, Shepard, Liara and Traynor.

Once the evac ships had returned to the Citadel, the Protheans were sequestered quickly into a holding area. Shepard insisted they receive medical attention and food immediately. Then and only then did she allow herself and the two others to be looked after. Once they’d had a quick but thorough medical exam and were cleaned up, they were hustled into the emergency gathering with the leaders of Counsel space.

Shepard glared across the table at the Salarian Counselor but remained seated. “Delatross Pravia, we have made many concessions in the name of peace and cooperation in the last several years or have you so easily forgotten.”

“But these are terrorists!” the Delatross insisted.

“They are a people from a different time,” Liara interjected.

“My focus was on stopping the threat once and for all,” Shepard stated.

“By offering friendship?!” the Delatross exclaimed.

“By offering anything,” Shepard snapped.

“Let us all keep in mind Delatross that we would have fallen victim to yet another attack if not for Captain Shepard and her team’s effort,” Hannah Shepard interrupted calmly.

“Indeed. This situation is unusual to say the least,” Tevos agreed, her hand on her chin thoughtfully.

“But not one unfamiliar to us,” Liara added. “Do not forget that we have had personal past contact with a Prothean. If anyone were to know how to reach them… reason with them, it would be Shepard.”

Traynor was staring at her hands, unable to fathom the fact that she was sitting in a room face to face with the most powerful people in the galaxy. Not to mention what she had survived. She was startled when Victus addressed her, especially since the Turian had been silent up until that point. Her head snapped up meeting his steady gaze.

“Specialist Traynor, how did you find these Protheans? Do you trust them?” he asked evenly.

Traynor glanced at Shepard who nodded her encouragement to speak openly. She turned back to Victus and cleared her throat. “No, sir.” Victus and the others frowned. Traynor straightened and squared her shoulders. “That is… not yet sir. But they have shown potential to be trustworthy. Certainly we relied on each other to get here today. I think, as Captain Shepard has said, we have to start somewhere. We have the upper hand now but to crush them, to master them, would only make us as bad as they are. If you want peace, I think we have to show mercy… to show kindness… to extend an olive branch and give them a chance to start over. Someone has to take the first step, take a risk.. a chance. Given that, if they take advantage, then at least we know we tried.”

She glanced again at Shepard who was giving her the oddest smile, sort of lopsided and proud. She sincerely hoped she hadn’t overstepped her bounds.

“Well said Specialist,” Victus said finally.

Delatros Pravia settled back into her seat with a huff.

“So Captain, how do you suggest we handle this situation now?” Tevos asked.

Shepard grimaced, “It would have been much easier if Vanguard Yarus had lived. He was the elder of the three and his word held a great deal of sway over his people. He was logical and not reactionary. They are going to need strong leadership if this is going to work.”

“And what of the one that is left? Kovas?” Hackett asked.

“Kovas has a great mind but he is not a strong leader,” Liara commented.

“I may have the answer,” Hannah Shepard said, standing.

All eyes turned to her. She placed her finger on the com, “Lt Vega, please escort our guest into Counsel Chambers.”

All eyes turned to the door as the familiar large figure of Vega escorted in the new arrival. Shepard’s jaw dropped open. Liara burst into a grin. “Javick!”

The proud Prothean’s presence was undeniable. He nodded, “It is good to see you both.”

“We thought you were dead,” was all Shepard could manage.

“The irony of that statement is not lost on me coming from you Captain. Once the Reapers were defeated I had no reason to remain.”

“So how are you here now?” she asked.

Hannah Shepard spoke up, “Once you disappeared on what was suspected to be a Prothean vessel I was contacted by an agent of the Shadow Broker. He passed along information that Javick may still be alive.”

Shepard hazarded a glance at Liara. She suspected Feron was the source of the information. A quick glance from Liara confirmed it.

The elder Shepard continued, “I then engaged Lt Vega to investigate and retrieve Javick, if in fact he could be found.”

“I aim to please,” Vega said with a grin.

Javick stepped towards Shepard and Liara. “When I heard there might be others I had to come.”

Shepard placed a hand on Javick’s shoulder, immediately relaying through touch all of their experiences on Voltanis. She stumbled a bit at the exchange but Javick steadied her with hands on her arms. Afterwards their eyes met and the Prothean smiled. “Shepard, you are indeed everything they say you are,” he said quietly. Then he released her and stepped back, glancing around the room. “I will lead my people to a path of collaboration and contribution. You need not worry about any further attacks.” He met Shepard’s gaze again, “And you may count on us, in whatever you need.”

###

The debrief went on for hours. First the Counsel, then the Alliance.

Shepard didn’t remember falling asleep but when she woke for the first time during the night she was thankful it had been a deep, dreamless one. She reached out and her hand found warm skin near her. She felt Liara turn into her arms, their eyes meeting drowsily in the dim ambient light of the night. Blue locked on blue and held. Shepard reached up, never breaking her gaze, and ran her hand gently along Liara’s face.

They had spent this latest ordeal together and yet distant, only able to share brief times of rest or comfort, glances, smiles, quick reassuring touches. Now it was over. They were alive. They were together. The wave of desire hit them both suddenly and quickly their bodies met, pressing and sliding, building to a quick, frenzied passion that peaked hard and swift. Then they began again, much slower, reaffirming their connection and their dedication to each other. This time at the climax they held each others gaze, fighting the instinct to close their eyes as the wave of ecstasy took them.

When Liara woke sometime later dawn was just beginning the lift the darkness of the night. She reached for Shepard but the place next to her was empty. She found her standing by the window on the other side of the room, watching a sleeping Citadel, a sliver of Earth visible far below. She walked up behind her and slipped her arms around her waist. Shepard placed her hands over Liara’s and pulled her tight against her back.

“Can’t sleep?” Liara asked.

Shepard shook her head.

“Bad dreams?”

Shepard smiled to herself. “No actually.” She was quiet a moment. “I feel… good. I feel… optimistic about the future. That there will be a future.”

Liara slid around until she was in front of Shepard, her arms still encircling her tightly. She leaned back to look into the blue eyes she loved and found them bright and focused. Familiar and yet new. She smiled. “Me too.”


	29. Chapter 29

The celebration of the Reaper defeat and the announcement of the Galactic Unity Fleet was ready to get underway, though a few days later than originally planned. The Prothean ship had been dry docked. It’s engines and technology would no doubt be the subject of intense study. The Normandy was also out of commission until a new engine solution could be resolved and any other damage repaired.

Javick took over the leadership of the Prothean refugees immediately. This not only provided peace of mind to the rest of the Galaxy but also to the Prothean’s themselves who were going to need help navigating a new political and social climate. They were happy to have a leader of their own kind to guide them.

Despite the positive outcomes and her newfound optimism about the future, Shepard still paced anxiously in the small anteroom outside the hall where the galaxy’s leaders and thousands of it’s peoples were waiting to see her and more unnervingly, hear her speak. She had given speeches before, many times in fact. But those had been about war. This speech was to be about peace. She felt entirely unprepared and she was out of time.

When the tall double doors opened to the grand walkway leading to the podium, the brightness of the room was almost blinding. But it was nothing compared to the roaring of the crowd once she took her first step and began making her way down the walkway. There were crowds from all known races filling the three tiered decks that encompassed the room almost a full 360 degrees. To her right high in the second deck were the box seats of the Counsel. They too were standing and watching her enter. She glanced up and caught the eye of her mother who nodded slightly, her smile and gaze reflecting openly the pride she felt for her only child. The sight of it made Shepard’s breath hitch as it was a surreal but welcome sight.

Flanking the walkway on the left and right were soldiers and officers representing every species that participated in the Reaper War. They all stood smartly at attention as she passed, but their eyes followed her and hints of smiles could be seen. Many were strangers but scattered amongst were some familiar faces as well. As she passed the Krogan ranks she saw both Wrex and Grunt standing at the head of their contingent. Wrex gave her a trademark grin as she passed. She smiled and nodded slightly at them. Next she passed the Quarian and Turian ranks. She recognized a few familiar faces but not the two she was searching for. She passed the Alliance ranks next, finding Admiral Hackett himself standing at attention for her. Miranda was there also, casting Shepard a small smile and rolling her eyes at the pomp and circumstance surrounding them. Shepard could only grin knowingly.

It wasn’t until she passed the Alliance ranks that she understood why some familiar faces had been missing. There nearest the podium were a special mix of species. Her crew. The crew of the Normandy. Standing at attention were Ashley, Joker, Vega, Tali, Garrus, Cortez, Dr. Chakwas, Traynor, Liara and the rest. They all stood at attention, each casting her knowing smiles.

Shepard, suddenly feeling the nervousness edge away, stepped to the podium. The thought of her crew standing behind her bolstered her. She felt calm, familiar confidence and focus sweep through her. Looking out over the masses she found the Protheans in attendance as well, with Kovas and Javick standing at the head. She nodded to Javick and he crossed his arms and nodded back.

She gripped both sides of the podium before her and took a deep breath.

“My name is Jess Shepard. Some people call me Captain, some call me Spectre, some have even called me hero.” Cheers erupted across the crowd. Shepard held up her hand and they quieted. “But I am only a soldier. I was trained to fight. And fighting is all I have done for the past… well, a long time now.” She paused. “The term hero is a tricky one. It is dangerous in any war to single out one to call a hero. Especially a war as large, long, and hard fought as the one that ended only a year ago. The Reapers were the greatest threat this Galaxy has ever known. It took all of us… every… single… one of us, fighting with everything we had to defeat the Reapers. I am a soldier. I was trained to fight. Fighting is what I do best. It is expected of me.” She paused again, looking around at the crowd. “To me the heroes of this war came in many forms, not the least of which were the soldiers serving like those standing behind me. But what cannot be overlooked is the part each civilian undertook in this fight as well. Anyone who helped a neighbor, provided food or shelter, and any of the countless who died while we fought against the enemy is a hero. Those who weren’t trained but fought all the same. Fought for their homes, their families, their friends no matter what species or ship or home world. That is why as I look across this room today, one year after we defeated the greatest threat we have ever know, that I call all of you heroes.”

A huge cheer erupted again. After a moment Shepard held up her hand once again for silence and it came.

“The war is over now. The Reapers are defeated. But I am here to remind you that our true struggle is only just beginning. The fight to keep peace is much more difficult than the fight to end war. Peace is delicate and will require all of us to remember that without each other we are lost. Just as without each other, the Reapers would have won. I for one, am willing to fight with everything I have to keep that peace.”

“To that end, the Counsel will be forming a new fleet whose sole purpose is to keep this peace… to work in any way needed to sustain this galactic unity we have managed to forge. The fleet will be a collaboration between all species. The only way we will be successful is by working together.”

“The Counsel has asked me to lead this new fleet, to build this alliance, to foster and grow this delicate unity we all fought so hard to create. Being a soldier I wasn’t sure if this was right for me… if I was the right person to be a leader in peace after so much loss. Sometimes we can loose ourselves in the sacrifices and difficult choices we are forced to make.” She took a moment to steady herself before looking out into the crowd. “But I believe in this peace. I believe we are far stronger learning to value and embrace our differences and find common ground, to support and share with each other so that our children never… NEVER have to face the horror and loss of what we have just endured EVER again. That to me is worth the greatest fight of all. I plan to make it the fight of my life as I lead this new Galactic Unity Fleet. All I have left to ask you is, are you with me?”

Shepard’s momentum was met by a silence that enveloped the crowd. She looked out at them, her eyes sweeping the many colors, shapes and sizes. They looked unsure. Unsure of the peace or unsure of her she didn’t know.

Then she heard a voice from behind her. She turned to see that Ashley had stepped forward. She snapped to attention and saluted. “I’m with you Shepard,” she said, loud enough for her voice to carry. Shepard met her eyes, a grin breaking out over her face. Almost immediately the rest of the Normandy crew joined her in saluting and repeated, louder even in a chorus, “I’m with you.” And like a wave the sentiment swept down the walkway through the ranks of every species and then it spilled into the crowd, civilians of all creeds holding their salute to Shepard, pledging to fight for peace. To fight for the future.


	30. Chapter 30

Liara found Shepard in the walkway leading to Dock 34 where she had left word she’d be waiting. Shepard was leaning on the railing, staring out into the mid-morning sun. The Asari stopped a moment to admire her bondmate. She looked strong and confident, even in her relaxed pose. She found herself smiling as she realized how much had changed once again in the past year. Loosing Shepard, finding her again, wondering if she’d ever be whole again. And now seeing her retuned to the strong, confident woman she knew filled her heart with enough joy to burst.

“Are you staring at my ass again?” Shepard’s teasing voice broke her from her musings. Shepard hadn’t turned but had somehow sensed the approach of her partner.

Liara shook her head at the crass human humor. She stepped up next to her and smiled. “I will admit to admiring the view.”

Shepard grinned in return. For a moment their gazes drifted out of the huge docking bay windows to where the sleek form of the Normandy rested in dry dock.

After a moment, “Was their something you wanted to show me?” Liara prompted, unsure why exactly they were meeting at the dock.

Shepard’s grin slipped away slowly and her brow furrowed. She rubbed her scar, her gaze wandering to her boots. Liara lifted an eyebrow knowing something was up.

“Well now that the celebration is over everyone will be going their separate ways again. I thought it would be nice to get everyone together one last time for old times sake.”

Liara looked confused. “Ok… but you want them to come here?”

Shepard finally brought her gaze back to Liara’s, a crooked smile tipping her lips. “Actually…”

Liara heard the sound of the airlock door opening behind her and she turned, startled to see all of her friends lining the entry to the Normandy. Liara looked back at Shepard, confused. “I don’t underst…”

Her voice trailed off as she didn’t find Shepard where she thought she’d be. Instead she had to drop her eyes lower and found Shepard in front of her on bended knee. “Liara, we’ve been through hell and death and more hell and death. And still, since I’ve known you, I’ve felt this… this spark, this thrill, this undeniable joy. I want to spend my life with you. I want to build a future and a family with you. More than that, I want everyone to know that we belong to each other. Marry me?”

Liara was silent a moment. She looked at Shepard and knew that in a galaxy of uncertainty the one thing she knew without question was that she loved this human… this woman who was kneeling before her. She stared into those clear blue eyes she loved and the silence lengthened.

“Are you going to answer the woman or what?” Wrex’s rough voice broke the silence.

Liara broke into a grin, “Of course.” She pulled Shepard to her feet and into her arms. “Of course the answer is yes. I am yours, Jess. Forever.”

Shepard’s face lit up the room with a huge grin and their friends erupted in cheers.

Admiral Hackett performed the traditional human ceremony to a Normandy shuttle bay filled with friends and familiar faces. Afterwards the party began, the bay filled with music and boisterous chatter as war stories were shared amongst friends who’d spent the better part of the last four years wondering if they’d ever live to be free from war again.

Shepard took a moment from the laughing and dancing and laughing about her dancing to step back and survey the room. She felt a pang in her chest as she thought about the faces that weren’t with them to celebrate. The ones they’d lost along the way. But greater still was the feeling of swelling pride and love for those that she had fought with that still stood by her side… her crew, her friends. They would be bonded for life not by the force of war but by choice. Amongst all of the other terrible choices war had brought, they chose the fight for each other. Peace was just a happy side effect.

And for Shepard, that was something worth living for.

*************

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Bioware, no infringement intended.  Oh Captain! My Captain! By Walt Whitman.   
> Comments welcome and appreciated, robin.shelly.foster@gmail.com


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